telling somone i have HSV2

Hi. I have hsv-1(g). I got it two years ago. I myself haven't told anyone but my ex and the guy I got it from and one guy I really like. So I can only tell you about my experience with the guy I like. I told him about a month after we started dating. Back story my ex had somehow cloned my phone or whatever so could see whatever I did on munch phone. I met him off of a dating website and there we exchanged numbers. Well my ex got his number and texted him telling him I was in the middle of a herpes outbreak. The guy I was dating showed me the text but I didn't tell him at that time. We were in Applebees and it wa the first time meeting him so wasn't sure if I would like him. Needless to say after two years he still couldn't get over the fact that I have this and we (as of yesterday) are now only friends. He says that he thinks it would have worked out differently if the way he found out was different. I was literally told I had it like a week before I met him so I didn't know anything about it and I felt so disgusting. Well I'm sure you know exactly what I meant. So because of my ex I was forced to answer questions that I didn't know the answers to and just basically told him I was always contagious and just how I felt about myself. I told him the facts later on when I learned of them but it was too late. He already had the nasty things in his mind from what I told him. He took it as I lied and said I should have told him right away. He didn't understand that I wanted to make sure that I liked him and was afraid of him telling everyone. Either way he didn't take it that well. He didn't talk to me for two weeks and then said we had a connection and he had feelings so he would try. Long story short. I wouldn't tell them the first date but if you go on a second one you know you are interested in them and I would let them know. Before this I would do as much research as possible so that way you can accurately answer any questions that he may have. There is a lot more stuff on the internet now and spoke with my doctor then there were two years ago. But with the type that you have there was a lot. Just be honest. It is hard. I won't deny that and yes you do run the risk of them telling everyone. I have been doing online dating because then I would talk to them about a week and then tell them through the internet. I know I'm a coward. For the most part they said they were fine with it but then after awhile we stopped talking. It could just be that we didn't have a lot in common or they changed their minds. I'll never know. But I will tell you that it felt so nice to get that off of my chest because then when they said they wouldn't judge me and still wanted to get to know me it made t so much easier. I'm still finding it really hard to find someone even tho I haven't really been trying since me and the guy I love just ended but I did still play around to see if someone could actually accept me. I still don't know the answer. But I hope this helps just be honest and up front about it and then it is out of your hands. I told my ex and he did go around telling everyone. I hate to believe that we are only able to date people with the same thing and yes that would be easier but in my case the guy I really want to be with and love so much doesn't have anything. I also don't want to put my picture up online for one of those sites because I haven't told my friends or family because I'm embarrassed and disgusted still. I felt a lot better about the type that I had because it isn't too bad compared to the other ones. Yes it sucks and still bad but really the best one to have I guess. But now I don't feel so well. I wasn't educated about stds like I am now and judged and felt the same way as my ex guy I guess I'll call him until I got it. I never knew I could get an std from kissing someone or letting them go down on me. Too bad took me the hard way to figure that out. I'm sorry this is so long just wanted to give you my experience and hope yours goes better and hope it helps a little bit as to how and when you will tell someone. 

Hi 

I had my first outbreak about 6 weeks ago and I have never been so poorly! I caught it from my partner going down on me. He’s since then proposed. My advice is to tell some one, I told my parents, my cousin, 2 of my best friends and obviously my boyfriend. I needed their help and suppprt to look after my children and stop me from beating myself over something that quite frankly was completely unlucky.  I’ve gone through every emotion I cried down the phone to my dad begging him not to think I’m dirty.  His words were “at the end of the day it’s just a condition, you’ll learn to live with it”  I honestly believe none of these people now think any different of me.  And if anything the sex with my partner now is probably the best it’s ever been, because he still thinks I’m the most amazing woman even with herpes.  Talk to someone, don’t carry your burden alone.  You may be shocked at how much better you feel x 

Hey 

You alright?

Firstly I want to start by saying many people do not think herpes is a big deal

I have read many posts on Facebook with the comments saying herpes isn’t s big deal

It’s big in your mind because you have it

It’s not big in anybody else’s mind hahahahaha

And I will back that up now

I stayed with my ex who gave me this due to having your mindset I was lonely and suicidal, long story short when with him I met someone and clicked with him so I thought screw it and ended it with my ex 

And in my mind I told myself ‘look I can either not tell him and let him walk away or tell him and face the tiniest chance of him staying’ 

So I said ‘I’m going to tell him’ this was a big step for me 

How I went about it is why I think it worked 

So I made sure I was not going to cry PLEASE DONT CRY 

Wait I’ll put it in dos or don’ts list haha

DONT:

Cry

Apologise

Say ‘you won’t want to be with me after this’

DO:

Act by bothered

Act like it’s no biggy

Act like it’s an inconvience 

Okay so how I did it and the outcome:

I was in my car with him dropping him back and I said ‘hey I have something to tell you because I have a feeling we’re gonna get steamy soon’ tried to keep it light and funny

I continued... ‘you just need to know that my last sexual health checkup showed that I have that virus that causes cold sores’ now I used cold sores because I was very newly diagnosed at that point so it still scared me to say it but I don’t regret saying it, he didn’t know what causes cold sores so he had to google it, actually no I’m glad I said cold sores because cold sores are no big deal and it’s good to inform people well if they aren’t big deal I have the same but in my pants 

So he googled ‘cold sores’ herpes came up straight away 

I didn’t tell him what type because I didn’t need to but I made sure I told him the risks of hsv2 not 1 

Which is 1% chance if you use condoms and antiviral for the WHOLE YEAR not per encounter PER YEARRRRRRRRRRR 

His instant response was ‘oh thank god I thought you were going to tell me you were born a man’ 

We laughed it off changed subject and he went home (I told him to sleep on it and text me the next day)

Well he texted me the next day and here we are 5 months down the line completely in love with each other 

Oh and we stopped using condoms about a month in we’re both eager and impatient and guess what? He’s not caught it 

And we have sex many times a week hahahaha

Message me if you want advice 

It’s a good filter, because guys who really like you for you won’t care about the fact that you have herpes. You just have to make sure that when you tell someone, don’t sound sad just say it like it were any other thing because if you sound sad or upset then they will get scared. If you give them time they usually come around. I kinda went through the same thing a few months ago but I had already had sex with him 3 times before I found out I had something and when I told him he wasn’t upset at all he was so sweet but then he didn’t talk to me for a month and I was so upset but I think he had felt that I was sleeping with other ppl at the same time but that wasn’t the case so when he found out the whole story we started talking again and we’ve been fine ever since. So just goes to show that there are understanding ppl out there. He also told me that he doesn’t care if I have anything even though I cured what I had and he hadn’t contracted it. Sorry to go on a rant just trynna make u feel better and she’s some light at the end of the tunnel for u. Best of luck