Temperament after menopause

Posted , 8 users are following.

i don't know if anyone can help with this. I've always been a feisty soul. If I felt I was being intimidated or challenged in a situation, I have always managed to stand my ground, and could do that from heated debate right up to full on screaming match. I went through the menopause 2 years ago at 40 and suffered from depression. Now every time I feel I'm being challenged/intimidated etc get very anxious and shaky. I can stand my ground for a bit and when it's over the anxiety kicks in. It's like all my fire has gone. Does that make sense? Has anyone else noticed a big change like that? I know people calm down after the menopause but to this extent??? 

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  • Posted

    I'd say ,stay away or walk away from any confrontation ,if you suffer meno anxiety ,why make yourself ill .Menopause does all sorts ,turns you inside out ,and upside down ,depression ,why open yourself up to that or more of it .Stay in the company of the calmest of people .I do ,anyone not good for your overall well being ,stay clear of .

      Let any trivial things go over your head .i do .Best advice to anyone Peri or post meno .We get through it by the skin of our teeth as it is .Deep breathing ,and count to 10 .B......y Meno it's the pits and it's dragged out hormones .

    • Posted

      Thanks. I try to do that now. It's just strange because I never used to be like that. i suppose it's just a matter of trying to learn who I am now. Although I have to say, the feeling of calm is quite lovely! 
  • Posted

    Yes, I do. Not that I've ever been particularly fiesty, I've always been fairly mild mannered, but now having gone through the menopause, I notice it even more, and to the extent that I'd rather stay in than go out, even to go into town shopping. The thought of going out on my own sometimes makes me really nervous, and I seem to have even less confidence. It sounds silly I know, but it must be a similar thing. Oh what we women have to put up with, and my husband doesn't really understand, besides which I often don't even feel like the same person. I have just ordered a multivitamin and mineral supplement which I'm hoping will help with some of the symptoms I now seem to be suffering with, one of which is the feeling of being down in the dumps, and lack of motivation, especially when the weather is dull. (vit D recommended for this)

    Let's hope that these will help by making me feel more 'normal' again!

    Best wishes, Kathy

    • Posted

      Ditto here Kathy ,you sond like me to a tea ,how old are you if you don't mind the question ,I'm just now 67 yrs and still got the same old rubbish coming at me on daily basis .lots say same in post meno ,be on Zimmer frame before it gets finally knocked on the head at this slow rate it's going to die a death .Wish we could speed it up .

       

    • Posted

      thank you Kathy, I'm glad it's not just me. Yes, I too don't like going out much now. Staying in and having a quiet evening in is far more appealing.

      i have read depression can follow menopause, it's the lack of oestrogen by all accounts.. If your feeling of being down in the dumps doesn't go, maybe try speaking to a doctor. Men have no idea if what we go through!!

  • Posted

    Yes, I sometimes think it is personality as well with me.  Depends on the situation, who is challenging me and how passionate I feel about whatever is going on.  
    • Posted

      I used to argue for sport! Not about important things, sometimes I would take the opposite viewpoint just to open up a debate.

      i had a guy at work snap at me and I got really shaken up. I don't get shaken up, I get mad!! This new gentler side to me is difficult to get used to. sad 

    • Posted

      I understand, I feel the same way as the women posting about staying home is more appealing than a night out, sometimes.  Most times.  But I have taking the perspective, that I am more confident in my decisions, less interested in what other people think, whereas before I was tooooo worried about all of that.  I like the peace I feel, yet do sometimes worry if I am sinking into that depressive state, so I talk to myself and ONE true friend who is very supportive and then I feel better, stronger.  Be kind to yourself and try to think Positive even when its very hard.  Then there is always US!  xo
    • Posted

      you're right Loretta. Thanks for your advice, it's very much appreciated. x
  • Posted

    Hi Hed

    try 100mg daily of Vit B6 

    jay xx

    • Posted

      Thanks for that info. It's very interesting. I'll pop into a health food shop on Monday and pick some up. :-)
    • Posted

      Yes, agreed, most helpful. I seem to suffer from lots of those symptoms, am waiting for some multivit.& mineral supplements for menopause to arrive in the post.

      As Loretta said, I too worry less about what others think, and wish I could have been more like that earlier in my life, but hey ho, life's too short to go to your grave worrying about what others think, I know women who have always had the confidence to be themselves and not worry and no one seems to think any less of them!

       Kathy

    • Posted

      Hiya Jay lovely 😘. I find that things bug me more.  I think it's called the in law syndrome 😘😳😡
    • Posted

      Yup that's right the sister in law, the dishes in law, the making lunch in law, the laundry in law.  The things you can't stand anymore 😆😆😆redface
  • Posted

    Hello again all, this site is so lovely, and a bit of a sanity saver.. it makes me feel like I have friends I can call on to help me put things in perspective, especially as there seem to be so many women with the same problems. Until you speak to someone else going through the same, you can feel very isolated.

    Marlene21102, I will be 59 at Christmas, and have noticed about once in a blue moon, I feel as I used to but think this must be just a fluctuation in hormones. I work in a secondary school, and despite feeling nervous and self conscious about being with a lot of people (more so with people I don't know very well) I sometimes feel as though I could shout and swear at some of the students, while most are sweeties, there are the odd few who just won't toe the line, and my tolerance is gradually getting less and less. The thought of having to still be there for another 7 years before I can afford to think about retiring fills me with dread!

    Oh how I wish we could turn back time , getting older feels so wrong as I'm still only about 18 in my head!!  sad

    • Posted

      Kids can try you at any age. It's what they do best ,even those darlings you've got to take a deep breath in .think hormones well lack of the good ones we once had  ,unsettle you as there still up and down in any given day .now were left with the dregs ,rubbish ones body's trying to get shot of ,but not fast enough ,so think the Vits are good thing now to swallow ,better than the head ones Drs want to give you.better route to go first .Im pretty sure female Drs in meno must try these Vits first .they know what issues these meds can bring up . Some they help ,but some they don't .thats my findings to when I took them few yrs ago .

        Those 7 yrs will go by quicker than you think ,blink of an eye there gone .

      hope the meno gone completly to ,bit the dust .

    • Posted

      Hi Marlene

      i am so grateful my peri started at age 40 ..

      i know it was a long old 10 years of symptoms helped with Vits etc 

      but i am post meno now and age 50 ..

      so glad mines done .. 

      i dont feel bad at all ... my Vits seem to work wonders for me..

      HRT not a chance for me, dont fancy replacing declined hormones to come off HRT later and have another peri .. ' good grief' no way.. plus the risks, and family history .. its not an option ..

      i however do use the Ovestin Estriol Ovules.. Vaginally but only once a week, ot once every ten days, thats pretty localised and keeps inside moist and plumped..

      the Ovestin cream good for the outer bits, but only tiny amounts ..

      thats my only complaint, thinning vaginal walls and discomfort, and dryness, but all getting better.. 😃

      I actually cut the ovules in half to keep the measure low .. just maintained relief.... 

      Replens MD etc doesnt work as well..

      premeno Duo Ovules are very good though, from stress no more site..

      they moisturise and help keeping BV and thrush at bay..

      have a lovely evening 

      just getting dark here its almost 7pm, watched the sunset.. so pretty..

      ' oh the things we put up with' 

      my other half back at the moment, moaning his flu jab site is sore..

      Jeeeez ' they wouldnt cope with this would they.. 

      😄

      jay x

       

    • Posted

      Quick one from my old man ,just mentioned your fella and flu jab ,says he must have a dose of man flu ,talk about men sticking to B.....y gether .,mine comes out with He's  had 2 kids ,again B.....y cheek of it .

         Yea I'd like pair of them to do this survival course .They' ed be up hospital every blooming day with hormones kicking off ,that's blokes for ya .

         Think thinning walls big part of my problem past 9 yrs ,had 3 checks ,all I get is Nice an pink ,as it should be .Off I go home again .Not seen a dr since last Feb ,end up just coping and seeing what the ladies suggest ,like your self .wouldn't mind giving that what your on a try ,I've tried 1 dr gave me done nothing .with having BP it's hard to get anything .

        Tried Replens that was useless ,even Silk ( Sylk ) ? Another waste of time .

        HRT out window ,breast cancer in family ,plus had lump removed in the 70's ,I'd always worry anyway even had I'd been given it ,see how those dr meds and me don't mix ,so got not much faith in anything medical and me .all produce side affects . Right old mess for women ,only got to read there stories ,sad in this day and age. Crying shame I call it women just left to get on with it ,lucky them that get no meno probs wish we were them ,I'd settle for odd headache ,as one local gets ,now't else .

        Glad the fellas home .trouble fast as he's back off he trots again .get odd jobs done ,you can't get at .Its dark here at 5pm Jay  God Bless xxxxx

    • Posted

      Hi there, I've tried looking for Ovestin ovules but you can't buy them on the Internet. Did you get them from your doctor?

      thanks

    • Posted

      Hi Hed 

      i live in Spain Hed ..

      My Gyno recommended Estriol ( the kinder oestrogen) cream and Ovules ..

      i prefer the Ovules .. 

      jay x

    • Posted

      I see. I'll talk to my doctor next time I see her.

      thanks

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