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Terrible terrible anxiety and panic

Posted , 7 users are following.

john04685
john04685

I have had severe sleep problems for over a year. I have been on zolpidem and mirtazapine for 10 months. I sleep for about 3 1/2 hours a night..never go back to sleep after wakening. Since January my life has become more and more hellish by the day. In January i suffered my first panic attack. I didn't know what it was at first, i couldn't breath, went dizzy and then couldn't get out of my car fot 45 minutes, my partner said i went white as a sheet. I had another in the street 2 days later..frozen to the spot ..very very embarrassing. In the 2 months since i have been very anxious. I have anxiety attacks daily that can last for hours...severe agitation..i cannot get any peace in my mind..i feel like i am going totally insane..feeling like sedation could only calm me..truely aweful. I now get a high pitched noise in my head & i have a dodgy tummy everyday. I also have to deal with panic attacks when i go out...these happen practically everyday...to varying degrees, i have had full blown panic attacks to depersonalization (not the classic but feeling i am not fully there or floating when i walk instead of feeling normal) or an unbearable tension in my body, numbness in my face and jelly legs and burning thighs.

I try to expose myself to going out to desensitize myself but it doesn't seem to get any better..it's getting worse.

I walk to follow the "get exercise" idea..but i just end up thinking and getting more anxious.

Also somebody asking me a simple question, even someone i know, causes a stess reaction..like i received dreadful news.

I don't know how to break this daily hell. I have turned to this community for support. I am a 49 year old male

0 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • DYSLEXIC
    DYSLEXIC john04685

    Posted

    gice you doc a kick up the bum,  these meds are not working they may be making things worse you need to see a shrink , but that could take months
  • john04685
    john04685

    Posted

    I should add that my mirtazapine was reduced from 45mg to 15mg in January..to try to aid my sleep. My first panic attack happened before this reduction. I am not sure whether the reduction in dosagae has contibuted to my anxiety. I also now get smothering depression. I does not stay all day..but when it hits it hits so hard that it makes one think that continueing life is imposssible. Although i doubt if i would ever halm myself. I cry at the drop of a hat...sometime uncontrollably. I am not half the man i used to be. I no longer work. I dread each day..honestly I think how can i go through another day. 

    When i go out i feel as if i am walking to my execution. 

     

    • shez32
      shez32 john04685

      Posted

      Blimey this is exactly that I have been since Dec/Jan.. I feel I could of wrote this.

      Ive been on mirtazapine over a year tried to reduce dec last year gradually and the reduction made me worse. I've spent months in my room terrified I have allsorts wrong. Docs don't seem to do much. I was having anxity all day constantly so docs said go back to my full 15 so I did its been over two week and it's eased some what, not perfect but no one is. I still have anxity and ocd negative thoughts often but I feel am little more in control. I never had any of this prior to taking mirtazapine, I had anxity and some ocd issue but nothing as bad as this. I cry all the time over small things thatr often never bother me. I stress and fly of the hassle over daft stuff. My head never ever stops or slows down day and night. My stomach is all over my eating is. I'm scared to exercise to work my body uP. I used to be full of energy and active ib sports now I get out of breath going down the stares and it makes me heart race and I go into over drive. Feel Al pass out most times during the day even though I don't. All I know it's all my worst fears trying to get at me and made me scared. I am usually fit and healthy. But my mind thinks am not It's like health anxity it seems.so I'm trying to do postive reading qnd get out in my garden with music on and keep my mind busy qnd focus on good things to try break the habit. Also waiting on cbt had it before and it was good.

      I hope that u feel ok soon,I feel over time we get stronger and more used to things. Try just relax and try think about good things try little steps at a time. I'm going to try improving my diet too as foods are the fuel so eating good is important. keep pushing and remember things will get better in time :-)

  • Bendie
    Bendie john04685

    Posted

    Hi John your symptoms are so similiar to mine. I'm afraid I resort to alcohol and tranquilzers for relief we just have to view it as a serious incapacitating illness.

    I have almost given up hope of being free of it.

    I know mine is caused by early trauma but knowing that doesn't relieve the symptoms

    Stupid question but has anything changed in your life that could have brought this on.

    In my case it's always loss or abandonment

    Just remember your not alone there's loads of us struggling. Others on this site will advise you.

  • john04685
    john04685

    Posted

    I have no idea why this has happened. Had a dodgy childhood, but loads of people have had and are ok. I wouldn't wish what i have on anyone so I am truely sorry Bendie if you feel as i do, even brings a tear to my eyes. I have lost a bit of self esteem since i have stopped working. 
  • DYSLEXIC
    DYSLEXIC john04685

    Posted

    i drank and took benzos , i was on my way out i new it and thought ok lets do it with a bang. I  drank ltrs of vodka  loads of benzos , i finished up first in mental hospital then in general hospital with life threatning  pancreititis.   I came through all that i dont drink now , i am still ill i was born this way ,but hey lifes a bitch i just get on with it now
  • francesca45319
    francesca45319 john04685

    Posted

    John I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. Anxiety and panic are awful. I'm going through a bad phase at the moment because of bereavement and work. I was doing really well for 5 years.

    I no longer find the physical symptoms as distressing it's the emotional/mental element that is difficult especially as combined with bereavement.

    Anyway you must remember that anxiety isn't harmful and it's important we have the fight or flight response ours has just got skewed and we are highly sensitised to the anxiety state. The anxiety state itself causes a lot of bewilderment and fear, in essence 'fear of the fear'. !We struggle looking for a way out, desperate for reassurance and a 'cure'.

    Acceptance really helps ie don't fight it and let it sit in the background like a bad cold. Let go and go into it, let your body sag. Try and not add catastrophic thinking layer which in my experience escalates it.....

    We are only fighting ourselves really, our minds searching for the threat that has caused the anxiety : it's like throwing petrol on a fire.

    You will improve but it is a journey and there is likely to be lots of setbacks.

    Try and keep going as normal and don't get too introspective, dwelling on it. Good you are going out, big achievement. Find some pleasurable activities you enjoy for distraction and try and keep in touch with family and friends. Force yourself if you have too as I know it's hard to get motivated when very anxious.

    Take care.

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