Terrified and alone...
Posted , 9 users are following.
Hi ladies,
I found this forum after feeling terrified and alone and not knowing what to do.
I lost my job during co-vid and lost my health insurance, so I can't go to get any tests unless I want crazy medical bills, which I can't afford to pay right now.
I started feeling strange and terrifying symptoms starting 6 months ago. They would come and go but right now they are at their worst. I'm 43 and started noticing peri symptoms like constant breast tenderness, heavy bleeding and cramps, insomnia, and spotting/longer days between cycles. Still, my cycles were coming pretty normally, but would vary between 3-5 days longer than the previous cycle.
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At the same time, I felt debilitating fatigue, and I have previously been diagnosed with anemia from the heavy bleeding through all of my cycle. One day I was sitting at my desk, and felt like I was going to faint. I felt like I blood wasn't circulating through my legs while seated, and felt short of breath if I sat for too long. My feet were always ice cold.
This progressively got worse while sitting at my desk, but I had no issues sitting in my car while driving. Maybe because the seat is reclined and the pressure was on my back? I'm not sure, but it got to the point where I'd have to sit on my bed to work because the softer mattress/blankets put less pressure on my legs/bum.
Last week, after a particularly heavy period, I woke up gasping for air, my heart racing, unable to catch my breath. It was truly terrifying; I thought I was dying. After about 15minutes of panicking, I felt better and went back to sleep. The next night, after sitting down at my desk for a minute, the same thing happened - I couldn't catch my breath, and my heart was racing. The next morning, I woke up totally fine with no breathing problems, and went on with my day.
Last night, after feeling ok , I sat at my desk once again, and again couldn't catch my breath. I could not sleep last night because I thought I was going to die, and have been in bed all day. I'm terrified to get up because of the heart palpitations/breathing issues, but I know I can't stay in bed all day.
I find this all terrifying and perplexing. Yesterday I was totally fine - driving, running errands, with no issues, and today I feel debilitated and in bed, afraid to get up for fear of having a heart attack.
I know that I need to see a doctor, but right now, I can't even wrap my head around figuring out how to find affordable health insurance.
Do you ladies think this has anything to do with perimenopause? Or does it sound like something totally unrelated?
I would appreciate any advice, or words of comfort, as I'm totally alone right now. I already know I need to see a doctor, so please please kindly refrain from telling me to go - I'm working very hard to try to find insurance I can afford. Right now, I 'm just hoping for anyone to relate to anything I'm saying so I don't feel terrified and alone in my thoughts.
Thank you for reading all of this, ladies.
0 likes, 31 replies
Gypsy014 mymymy
Edited
hello nope definitely not alone .. i my own experiences I have felt all these symptoms any many more! and 43 ish is about the time for the really bad symptoms to kick right into gear..fror me as well.. and by the time I got to 45 symptoms were x1000 just awful..for the breathing and heart racing anxiety/palpatations /health anxiety you just have to pick a focal point focus and walk yourself thru it get up from that chair go sit on edge of beef or anywhere you are more comfortable and breathe inhale exhale over and over until you calm and it passes..these episodes can be quite scary and no real reason for them.. but could be honestly anything could even be a hot flash without the sweat ..my aunt use to tell me no way around this only thru it head on..fun Hugh we as woman are dealt alot..and each and everyone of us experience these frightening symptoms in our own ways..i can tell you for me i had so so many just when I thought ive felt the worst possible symptoms along came something else like very debilitating migraines to debilitating joint pains
.throw some anxiety in there and whoa we have quite a recipe..all I can say is try and calm yourself during the panic attacks and breathe best as you can till they pass..with the health insurance maybe apply for assistance if your job was lost during covid..there are many assistance programs out there now more than ever during this awful time.. hope you find the resources you need ..i know peace of mind helps to at least get some blood work done, but in all honesty I think we get tired of hearing everything look normal..
mymymy Gypsy014
Posted
Thank you so much for replying, it means the world to me.
I end up in some vicious cycle of googling symptoms and freaking myself out, which leads to more panic. Do you do that to yourself and how do you stop?
Do you ever feel so short of breath that you feel like you can't breathe? I woke up the othe rnight and felt like I was suffocating and it really scared me. I'm just scared that these symptoms are also similar to heart failure symptoms, but I'm only 43 and otherwise healthy....
mymymy
Posted
Also, did you go to the dr and have tests and what did you have done and what did your dr tell you?
toria_07298 mymymy
Posted
ive been tested for everything including heart failure, the anxiety makes us google as this literally feels like we are dying, im currently short of breath with chest and rib pain, fast heart and burning skin and body pain, so much fun x
mymymy toria_07298
Posted
Hi Toria,
Wow... have you gone to the dr and been tested as well? I'm up at 426 with horrifying anxiety - I am convinced it's making everything worse... how do you stop from googling everything? How do you deal with the shortness of breath? I literally am afraid of standing up and doing anything because of it...
toria_07298 mymymy
Posted
i do google from time to time, but i choose what i google carefully, to be honest when this all started last year i basically stopped doing everything as i was scared, my heart rate would shoot up to 150 just moving around, im still here now though, it hasnt killed me x
toria_07298 mymymy
Posted
the doctors only understand menopause not perimenopause, make sure you drink plenty of water x
mymymy toria_07298
Posted
That's amazing and gives me hope... Do you deal with panic/anxiety or are you used to the symptoms at this point? Do you ever deal with severe shortness of breath?
mymymy
Posted
May I ask at what age these symptoms started for you?
toria_07298 mymymy
Posted
yes, ask me anything, 39 x
toria_07298 mymymy
Posted
i have about 100 symptoms, they all came on suddenly, anxiety through the roof, try some magnesium for sleep and leg pain x
mymymy toria_07298
Posted
Oh wow 39.. and how old are you now? ARe the symptoms worse?
Do you ever feel like you're gonna pass out when you're drifting into sleep? I keep trying to sleep and this just started happening. I feel like my heart is trying to pump hard for some reason because my breath gets shallow and I feel like I'm going to pass out as I'm drifting into sleep.. this has never happened to me. I also have to open my mouth and breathe through my mouth or my throat will close up and it wakes me up... I'm terrified...
toria_07298 mymymy
Posted
im 40 now, and yes i had the passing out feeling last year in bed a lot, i still get moments like that now during the day x
Gypsy014 mymymy
Posted
yeah I think we all google.. definitely have felt that cant get that deep breath more times than id like to remember.. its a very awful feeling ..palpatations go along with it.. can be digestive.. try and make yourself burp/ belch that tends to relieve it somewhat.. for me it can happen just out of the blue or after eating or during anxiety and panic attack .. just walking.. smells hot air outside humidity.. it all just got so bad during Peri... once you start to become aware of the cycles of symptoms you will be more at ease that you are actually doing this and making it thru each and everyone thrown at you! difficult but you'll manage.. sounds like you may have some sleep apnea going on there..my husband has heart failure.. and high blood pressure afib and sleep apnea and central sleep apnea he would get really bad choking and gasp for air during sleep.. once he got on the right meds all his symptoms left him and functions normal now! but its trying to keep him taking the medication which he starts and stops and always says he can heal himself.. stubborn old goat! but when his symptoms arise he reaches for his meds then hes ok
mymymy Gypsy014
Posted
Wow, thank you so much for your reply!
I'm terrified that my issues are to do with my heart and not perimenopause. The 2 can mimic each other, and I really just need to go to a doctor to figure out what is wrong with me. When I sit down in a hard chair or go to the bathroom I feel tightness in my chest like the circulation is being cut off in my legs. What kind of symptoms did your husband have before being diagnosed with heart failure?
Gypsy014 mymymy
Posted
He was very swollen , lots of fluid backs up inside you because the heart cant pump or isnt pumping at full capacity..he had so much fluid in feet and ankles legs going up the legs and into the abdomen..he gets flare ups like that and would be put into icu and then pumped with heavy duty lasiks to get the fluid back off him..along with all the other meds..then would get breathless and dizzy and well felt like couldnt even put ine foot in front of the other..racing heart rate and super high blood pressure..lots of things can flare up the heart failure those for things I mentioned he has afib sleep apnea heart failure high blood pressure all stopped as soon as the right meds were given then when he doesn't take the meds he gets symptoms again ..he just doesn't let himself spiral out of control that bad anymore he jumps back onto his meds..heart failure is very obvious you would know it and be running to the Er.. but still get checked out for that peace of mind..my mother use to always talk about that same feeling of pressure when walking or needing to use the bathroom during her menopause..but the time I didn't realize it was her perimenopause as I knew nothing about it and i was in my 20s and she in her early 50s but looking back now her complaints all make sense to me now..peri can be very awful and mimic weird things..and be downright debilitating..it can worsen pre existing conditions and bring on new ones..very scary all of it!
toria_07298 Gypsy014
Edited
my gp thought i had heart failure and they wonder why we are anxious x
Gypsy014 toria_07298
Posted
wow. what were your symptoms that he thought it was heart failure with you? how did he/ she determine it wasnt after all?
toria_07298 Gypsy014
Posted
shortness of breath, chest pain, etc etc she did lots and lots of tests, scans and a 24 hour urine sample etc x