Terrified of anti depressants. Help

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Hi.  I’m having a real bad time with this anxiety.  My sleep is terrible. I am exhausted. I have constant tension in my body. I can’t work properly. I need help yet I’m scared of anti depressants. All the side effect tell you they can produce what should actually cure.  So more anxiety more depression more fatigue. More suicidal thoughts.  So when one is so low how can one endure this even if just for a month!!! I can barely go on as I am. I’ve been posting a lot lately as I feel so alone in my mess with doctors laughing at my face or seeing déifièrent doctors with different diagnosis on which ad to take.  It’s all trial and error guinea pig like treatment???

I’m so worried it’s unreal now. And I’m all alone during the day. So it’s even harder

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  • Posted

    Hi ol05758

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards


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  • Posted

    Hi there

    Please try the antidepressants - they truly will help you.

    As someone who was very much in your position two years ago and refused to take them, I really wish I could turn back time and take some instead of the antipsychotic I was given. This left me with permanent side effects in the form of a movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia. The antidepressant most likely would not have done. Hindsight is a wonderful thing though...

    What antidepressants have you been offered? Citalopram was a life saver for me. Please PM me - i’d like to help you.

    Best wishes to you. x

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    • Posted

      Hi thanks for your post. I’m glad you are better and I’m sorry to hear about your side effects. Did you feel like you couldn’t sit still at the time from the anxiety?  I’m not taking anti psychotic luckily just Benzos. A milder form I guess. But I try to avoid them.  Yesterday I managed to go to work with extreme fatigue. And started working like a donkey. Manual labour. I could sit still yet so tired and body ached.  I don’t even know how one can feel so tired yet can’t stop moving. So yes. I do need to find a way out with anti depressants and need get rid of this phobia 

      As last night was crap sleep again.  I tend to relax in the evening though and manage to fall asleep with a pill at first. Then take one if need be. 

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    • Posted

      Hi noonoo 

      I am getting worse 

      My fatigue is in my legs. I find it hard to get up. No energy. I want to but can’t.  Did you have that too.  I really can’t cope anymore.  Is it chronic fatigue.  Or just depression.  I tense up to find the energy. Sleep tense all night

      So sorry to ask again

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  • Edited

    Please don't be scared. I lost twenty years of my life, suffering, isolating, having major depressive disorder, severe anxiety and panic attacks, frequent hospitalizations, being angry and irritated, losing friends, alienating famiky, going from one job to another, losing boyfriends, fighting, arguing, getting into toxic relationships, terrible self esteem..because I was afraid and too "proud" to go on "pills".

    Finally, After my last hospitalization in 2005, and a 2 week stay in a psychiatric ward, I was put on Remeron..it saved my life. I had no side effects. Within three days I felt I had a life for the first time. I was also put on Klonopin for severe anxiety and panic attacks. I started dating, laughing, going out with friends, and I wondered what took me so long to go on meds and why I was so scared.

    There are different classes of antidepressants out there. I do but respond well to SSRI'S. (such as Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Celexa, Prozac). They make me feel numb. However, everyone is different. They now do cheek swabs to find what anti-depressant will work best for your body chemistry. This is fairly new. I respond better to the older antidepressants. It's all trial and error. But you have to give them a chance and your body to adjust at least 4-6 weeks. I am on Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, Topamax, Busphar and Klonopin for anxiety. You have nothing to lose. And you will get your life back. There is hope.

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    • Posted

      Hi Josephine. 

      Thank you so much for taking the time to write.  

      I am scared indeed. As I’ve taken them before and had more panics in them 

      And I’m in such a bad place I feel like I will topple over on the dark side.  I read the amount of drugs you are taking and it seems like a lot.  I don’t understand. I thought anti depressants would be enough to help. And get off those diazepines for ever.  

      But I’m glad it’s working for you. You seem very pleased and together. I just needed to ask. Hope you don’t mind

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    • Edited


      Sometimes, one antidepressant or anxiety medication is not enough for people. Remember my first post saying I had been hospitalized numerous times? Well, I have several complicated mental health disorders due to severe neglect, abandonment and verbal and use by an Alcoholic mother. It messed me up and traumatized me badly. I had to be taken away from her by the courts. The reason I have it together is because of the cocktail of meds I am on, and many, many years of hard work and intensive therapy. I was born with Fetal Alcohol syndrome. You can be better too. What do you have to lose? Just try it. You will get your life back. If one doesn't work, try another. You are worth it. Don't suffer needlessly when there is help out there. Why suffer? I refuse to be depressed. Find a good Psychiatrist and therapist. Don't be too proud, or scared. I hope you feel better.

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  • Posted

    Every night I keep trying to take trazedone,

    and then I don't manage from the phobia

    i don't understand how i managed to take it for 2 weeks in 2015?

    i read my diary from back then and didn't even remember taking it for that long?

    from what I've written after 2 weeks nothing really changed..   just talking about it makes me tremble.  How stupid am I?   Then I went online and read why you should never take traz. But couldn't read the article....   

    i wish I was stronger like most of you.   It pains me to think that my only option is AD. And I'm so fearful.  I've stopped taking xanax as was told that was a real No no. But again everyone has different experiences.   But what if my experience from taking AD becomes one where I get worse or can't come off it. Surely it's something that doesn't put your mind at rest.  

    Ive always been one to make sure that everything I did in life was as accurate as possible and to the best of my knowledge.  And I would research my work to make sure I made no mistakes.  It seemed more straight forward than evaluating AD.  There is so much dissagreent on it all I am lost

    Josephine.  Thank you for your honest answer. And Admire you for being so strong with everything you have been through...

    i am stuck. Upset, scared of hospitalisation.  

    I think tonight I will take 2 sleeping pills and start reducing as soon as I can, I did this in 2013 when I stopped sleeping totally and eventually came off them, but I know that unfortunately they have less effect on me than they used to...

    sorry for being so difficult.  

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  • Posted

    Hi ol05758,

    I want to tell you my daughter's experience with anxiety and how she recovered without antidepressants.

    She moved away to university at 18, where she developed anxiety after a series of bad experiences, she had the worst time with it. She had panic attacks, her blood pressure went through the roof giving her nosebleeds, and after fighting for over two years she was basically unable to function and moved back home. She was prescribed something to lower her blood pressure and antidepressants by the GP who treated her while she was away. I had the same concerns that you have, and having myself recovered from major depression without medicament, I wanted her to try to do the same. This is what we did:

    1. My dad is a teacher of the Art of Living organisation, and despite my skepticism I was willing to try anything to help her. We did their Art of Happiness weekend course and I can say that it changed both our lives! We found out that the breathing exercises and meditation helped control her high blood pressure, and after a couple of weeks she was able to come off that medication.

    2. She decided to take charge of what she eats, and it made a huge difference. She learned how to cook, how to make wholesome meals with nutritionally valuable ingredients and this made a huge difference in her life! It made her feel better about herself and less anxious because she was accomplishing something that made her feel better about herself. Little by little she was able to take baby steps in starting a journal, getting more out of the house, doing a little exercise, reconnecting with people and it took two years for her to properly recover and now she's going back to do a different course at a different university - but she'll still live at home, as she doesn't feel well enough to live on her own / with other people yet.

    3. This year we found a very good doctor who really listened to us. After a (well read) blood exam we discovered that she had very low vitamin D, B12, iron and thyroid, and now I think this is what contributed for her extreme anxiety in the first place!

    So, it is possible to get past it all without taking medication. But it is important to note that my daughter had me there for her, so I don't know if she would have been able to get past this alone. Is there someone who can help you?

    And lastly, as others have said, if at any point you feel like hurting yourself, please do get help! There is no shame in that, or in taking the medication to help you go through the darkest phases of your anxiety. I hope this account helps you and that you can get past this. All the best and above all be safe! x

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your touching story. Never easy for a loving mother.shes lucky to have you. I do underatand the need to keep active and seeing people.  And always have until it got worse

      But as you know there’s a point where sometimes you feel it makes no difference and something might aggravates a case.  

      So did her treatment help her would you say? Anti depressants before her retreat?

      I tried an extreme sibo diet for 2 months and that’s when I started having issues with my arms and legs

      The breathing I do believe in too.  I just find it very hard, I do it for a bit then my head can’t stop thinking about my pain and restlessness. I don’t know how some do it. Like your daughter

      I am on my own most times

      It’s hard. On Saturdays my girlfriend wakes up late cause she out the night before at times. And sundays I worry about being on my own Monday.  Can’t believe I’m such a woos and need this much attention.  This morning I wanted to buy some calming natural remedies and internet comes up with so much negativity against them. It’s disheartning. 

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