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Terrified of Dying in My Sleep

Posted , 2 users are following.

jack7897
jack7897

I’m sorry if this has already been talked about, but... we’ll, I keep having consistent trouble sleeping. I want to, and I can feel that I need to, but my brain keeps screaming at me that something might kill me in me sleep. And that terrifies me. I know I have a health anxiety disorder, but my subconscious mind refuses to accept that as an explanation for me fear.

I know the odds of dying on any given day are pretty low on their own, especially for someone my age (18), and the odds of dying in their sleep are even lower. And then beyond that, dying of some sort of disorder that kills you suddenly without any prior symptoms is like less than a hundredth of a percent. But my mind keeps mentioning that it isn’t impossible, and it can lead to me feeling waves of nausea, sweating excessively, and shaking. As I write this my heart rate is accelerating and my lower body is starting to tremble.

I don’t want to slip away in the night and that’s the end, forever. I want to see my family again. I want to graduate from high school. I want to see more of the world. No matter how much I’m told I will, the worry, the panic, gnaws at the back of my mind. I’m convinced every headache or lapse in concentration is a sign of a terminal brain disorder, and each instance of chest pain is the harbinger of lethal arrhythmia. I don’t know if anyone has any insight I haven’t heard yet, or if anyone can help, but the only thing that consistently helps is talking about it. I’m scared to express it too much because I know panic attacks can lead to heart disease over time, which could also kill me, but I can’t keep living in fear each day. I want to be normal again. It wasn’t always like this. I just love my life so much, and I’m not read to give it up.

I’m sorry for going on so long. I just... My parents already took me to the ER a few nights ago for my panic, and I don’t know who else can help. I’m sorry. 

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • keandra_96450
    keandra_96450 jack7897

    Posted

    You’re not alone I’ve been living in fear since 2010 everyday I wake up BAM the fear and negative thinking begins.. any n everything worries me LITERALLY I just can get it off my mind think I’ve let it take over 😩 joining this site gave me hope and let’s me know I’m not alone bc I felt alone n like I’m the only one having this feelings for a long time... I’m about to start reading, listening to soft music etc n see if it helps any a lot of people said it’s does n calms you...feeling like this is no fun it done got so bad to the point ion even like being around a crowd of people.. I think it’s all in our mind, I pray things get better for the both of us!

    • jack7897
      jack7897 keandra_96450

      Posted

      I think it is all in my head, but the fear is so real, isn’t it?

      It helps to know there are other people who worry about the same thing that wake up in the morning, though. I just have to keep reminding myself that it’s so rare as to be almost unheard of. It doesn’t change the panic, but it helps a little. 

      Thanks for replying. It’s a small thing, but it can go a long way. It’s frightening to think you’re all alone with your terror. Being able to see other people having the same fight- it’s encouraging.

    • keandra_96450
      keandra_96450 jack7897

      Posted

      Yes the fear is too REAL😩 n I constantly remind myself it’s all in my head n that imma be ok it ain’t gon change into I stop thinking about n actually do something to help it.. I’m thinking about going to see a doctor to see if it’s really anxiety etc.  have you seen anyone?

    • jack7897
      jack7897 keandra_96450

      Posted

      I have seen some professionals, yes. They do help. They’re still human, though. They don’t have magical powers that make it all go away, though I truly wish they did. I’m having a phone call with a psychiatrist tomorrow, and I’ll be talking to my therapist shortly after the same day. The fear just keeps me from putting hope into it, telling me I might not live that long, even though it’s less than 24 hours away. It makes me feel sick. I remember when I wasn’t like this, and that’s what hurts the most. I know I can be better, and I just need to get past this, with work and time. It’s so scary, though. Practically haunting. I just have to keep trying.
    • jack7897
      jack7897 keandra_96450

      Posted

      I’ve suffered from anxiety on and off for my whole life, but since the new year I’ve begun worrying ceaselessly about my health, and the fears are stronger and more incessant. I don’t know what exactly caused it, to be honest.
    • keandra_96450
      keandra_96450 jack7897

      Posted

      it’s crazy how anxiety works n how I didn’t know anxiety even existed until I joined the site...but I pray we get better soon and overcome our fears🙏🏾

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