Thanatophobia, Covid and GAD
Posted , 2 users are following.
Hi,
I'm in a really bad phase currently...
I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) three years ago and spent half of the 2019 year at home (with my family), most of time in bed since I was unable to do anything because of the big GAD brain fog and physical symptoms. I also experimented depersonalization and derealization.
I now know I have an anxiety land. During this period I barely remember the worst moments (since I get memory loss from them) but I was often going to urgencies because I felt so bad sometimes I though I was losing my cognitive abilities or was about to die. I had a regiment of tests during this year (many blood tests, neurological tests, cerebral MRI, cardiac exams...) that never show anything wrong... I finally get ride of this GAD after 2-3 months with antidepressants.
I remember that I experimented one or two times a really bad feeling of close death, but the last one was far after this (in 2021) for no real reason, just with a feeling of exhaustion. I was thinking I was going to die during the night... Didn't call anyone though.
Currently I have Covid since 7 days, confirmed tuesday, probably Ba5, not positive anymore on AT, but still has low symptoms (no fever, good O2 ratio in blood). But this afternoon, I was with my girlfriend on the couch and for no reason, experimented again the exact same feeling of close death, but even stronger.
Since it happened, I feel like I was in 2019 again. I don't know if such feeling can be related by a way or another to a subconscious fear of Covid, or Covid itself, but it seems that my GAD came back. I was unable to eat tonight... just skipped the diner, being in a kind of panic attack state since the last 8 hours... It is 5AM now in my country and I'm still unable to sleep, because I can't stop to think about that feeling I had... And I don't know what to do either with this.
Does anyone else ever experimented such thing?
Is it something common with anxiety?
Is it a kind of 6th sense and should I go to the hospital? Too many questions...
I don't know if I will be able to get ride of my fear now...
0 likes, 4 replies
Capuccino
Edited
So finally I felt asleep at almost 5:30AM, and wake up around 2PM, still being in the same panic state.
I stay in bed, unable to stand up since my heart rate is like 140, I was dozing off and felt asleep in a loop of ten minutes until 4PM...
Still don't have any fever but my vision is weird (like blurry) I have a kind of disorientation, and again a feeling of depersonalization and always this thanatophobia and this feeling of risking something really wrong / close death / no tomorrow. The brain fog make me feel I'm loosing my head...
I was not able to eat anything and spent my day on the bed.
I read a bunch of articles about this spontaneous fear and some of them said it can be due to strong anxiety or strong depression.
I don't know what to do. I may try to go to emergencies tonight since it is really unlivable....
jan34534 Capuccino
Posted
sounds like you need some support right now. Are you able to make an appointment with a counselor or therapist? do you have any friends or family you can talk to?
it is true that anxiety can cause what you are going through and that is very common. I know that it feels weird and scary but remember when it’s due to anxiety, it will not hurt you.
it’s important to try to relax your mind as much as you can. Go to YouTube if you can and search for meditations for anxiety or panic. Do them a couple times a day to settle down your mind. it’s not a cure but it will make you feel a little better.
but I would really suggest that you find a counselor that you can talk to. The counselor can teach you how to manage all of this. also do some long slow deep breathing exercises that you can also find on YouTube. Take care
Capuccino
Edited
Hi, thank you for your answer. I'm currently in hospital (emergencies) waiting since yesterday 8PM, it is 4PM now in my country, so 20 hours of waiting... I only could sleep three hours on a stretcher, but they put me back in the waiting room after having seen the first doctor, so now I'm on a chair again. I apparently have a blood pressure of 16.7 / 8.6 and a 120 BPM hearth rate, but they said it was not dramatical...
I talked about the symptom I exposed here, also that I had anxiety troubles in the past, and now I'm waiting to see a psychiatrist, should be available in one or two hours.
Since I had Covid I'm still afraid that the reason of this is organic and not directly due to anxiety... I hope they will at least make a blood test. I also wonder if the virus itself is the reason of my GAD coming back...
Capuccino
Edited
Here we go : finally still positive to Covid on RT-PCR test. Medics free me without any diagnostic but a present severe anxiety (that is true) but I'm still pretty convinced my brain fog + difficulty to sleep comes from the virus itself, and it makes me panic so amplify them.
Tonight (it is 2 AM in my country) as soon as I close my eyes I'm in a state between dream and reality. I know I'm dreaming and half-sleeping and can still barely hear sounds like snores or so around me (I'm at my family home), and I wake up from this phase every 10 or 20 minutes in a loop. It is not restful...