Thank god for Citalopram!!!!

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Hi, I started on 20mg last October because I had got very low with one thing or another and my doc here in France prescribed it. I am so glad he did because 2 weeks after I started on them my mum in law was taken ill and suddenly passed away which was very unexpected. It was a very stressful time because we had to rush back to England for 2 weeks which wasn't good. In the mentime i had a routine blood test for my underactive thyroid and that came back with lots of things wrong so i had to go and see a blood specialist last November, had to have a bone marrow biopsy because they had to do lots of tests and finally this week i have been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. I am only 39, married with 2 children of 16 and 14 and we are all devastated. I know i shall receive the best treatment i could possibly get over here but i'm not looking forward to it. Anyway my point of writing this is to say that I am so thankful that i am on Citalopram because it's helped me get through these last few months because i really don't know how i would have coped otherwise, and hopefully it will keep me going in the coming months. I'll keep you posted if it works! lol!!

Take care ppl Lorraine xx

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  • Posted

    I have read your message twice now. The first time I read it, I cried. The second time I read it, all I can think is...boy...you are so brave!!! Just keep fighting, and everyone here will help you get by!!!! I hope I am not being insensitive here, you must be absolutely terrified....but you MUST be as positive as you can. To back your fight up....think children....they love you...and MOST off all you love them.. I really do feel for you and I hope it all goes as well as it can. You poor thing , you must be having a dreadful time!! (I hope I have not been insensitive here, as I do not know what it is like to have such a diagnosis...but I hope you have plenty of fight). Take care, with love, Tiny Tears. (You can get through this..!!!).

    I have 29 year old friend who has a brain tumour, no family, but he is getting by . Its almost been a year since being first diagnosed. he has gone with bupa...and is a fighter. Putting up a good fight for yourself will give you a better chance...you have to look after yourself,,,,as much as is possible!!! Hope I have helped, though I know its sad...I am just saying try and stay as positive as yu can...and you will give your fight the best. Love and kisses, Tiny Tears!

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  • Posted

    Hi Tiny tears, thanks for your message of support I really do appreciate it. I have been reading your messages and i hope you get through your troubles too. It's early days for me with this diagnosis and this week has been one hell of a rollercoaster for all of us. One minute i'm very positive then i get angry and think 'why me?' which is very selfish, and i don't mean it should be someone else because i certainly wouldn't wish it upon anyone to go through this but i wonder what i have done to deserve this. I have suffered depression for years and have fought through it the best i can along with the help of medication, but i have got to keep fighting harder this time for the sake of my children and my husband. I know it's going to be tough but i shall give it my best shot to get through it, i have a wonderful family around me and some wonderful friends so that gives me some positivity. Also like i said in my previous posting if i hadn't been put on citalopram, which has definitely helped me cope with things then i don't know how i would be dealing with this now. I just hope i can stay on it when i have to have my treatment. Thanks for saying i'm brave, my husband says i am but i really don't feel it, i feel very scared about what lies ahead...i'm the biggest coward out there!! lol! Thanks for telling me about your friend, i'm sorry for you and him that he is going through it. It does give me positivity when i hear good things. I hope you are feeling better today, like i said i have been reading your posts and i hope you are ok. No you are not being insensitive at all, you are right..i have to fight this.

    Lots of love Lorraine xxxxxx

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  • Posted

    Reading your post makes me truly ashamed of myself for wanting to give up so readily - when I see the dreadful things that some people have to try and get through, it makes me realise what an utterly petty man I am.

    I am in awe of your strength and bravery, and wish I could be as positive as you have been in the face of such grief. Although I am a stranger, I sincerely hope that you make it through this. I think you are fully entitled to demand; \"why me?\", it is not selfish in any shape or form. I'm glad the citalopram is giving you the extra resolve you need to push through - I regret that it didn't help me, but it is heartening to see that it really does help some people.

    I hope others here will read your experience of citalopram and decide to go ahead with taking it, or if they're already taking it, to persevere with it.

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  • Posted

    Robbiefan....thank you. I feel for you ...and hope you get the treatment you need pronto! I think you are sounding good....the fact that you can crack jokes is great!!! [b:d3315cb49b]You MUST have lots of fight in there! Thats soo good...a greater chance to getting better!!! You have inspired me to move on out of my self wallowing, blaim and doubt, to put up a fight and get on with it! ( I say that now....huh). take care, I willl try no longer to cry wolf. Luv Tiny tearsx.[/b:d3315cb49b]
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  • Posted

    How are you? Robbie fan I hope you are okay?!!!! Do you call yourself this necause you like robbie music? Please keep fighting, all my luv, Tiny Tears! smile
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  • Posted

    Hi Tiny tears, yes i'm into Robbie music, i've been to see him in concert loads of times...i wish he was touring this year coz that would keep me going too lol! :D I'm ok at the moment, we went over to my brothers yesterday for Sunday dinner which was nice. They live here in France too but we fell out last year and have just made up, that was one of the reasons of me going on Citalopram because i couldn't deal with not speaking to him and his family, we fell out over something very silly and with my prognosis last week just put everything into perspective and he apologised to me for what he had done. I've told him and his family that we need to move forward not backwards otherwise i'll just get stressed out which i don't need. The hardest thing was that my brother has always been there for me through my life, (we lost our mum when i was 12 and he was 14) and have always been close, and helped each other through rough times but the last 6 months since i haven't been well he wasn't there for me which was hard for me to deal with.....but thank god we are ok now and i know he is there to help me get through this next stage which is going to be tough. I had quite a good weekend, feeling positive about the future but today i feel a bit low. I've got to go to the hospital next Monday for blood tests, x-rays and an mri scan so they can find out what stage it's at and then go from there with regards to treatment etc. so i just want that bit to be over and start going forward. I hope you are ok today, i understand the ups and downs of depression it affects all of us differently but you've got to be strong..if i can then i'm certain that you can too. :D Take care of yourself Lorraine xxxxxxx

    Hi Asthenia, I hope you are ok. Please don't feel ashamed of yourself, depression is a difficult illness to deal with. I have suffered depression for years and at times wanted to give up but i couldn't for my family. They needed me and still do so that is what gives me the courage to fight this horrible thing. I lost my mum early and that has always been my worst nightmare for my children so i am determined that i shall fight this all the way. I have never felt that i am a strong person but everyone tells me i am but believe me i fall at the first hurdle at times but i pick myself up and carry on because i have to. I have been on many anti depressants over the years and i do find Citalopram to have been one of the best, i'm sorry it didn't work for you but please don't give up, there are others that may help you. I am just glad that i am on it now because i really don't know where i would be now. Thanks for your posting i do appreciate it. Take care Lorraine xxxxxxxxx

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  • Posted

    Robbiefan, thanks for your post!! I hope you are good today too!! Keep your chin up...as far as you can...(this will help you to laugh).....and if you worry about posture....point your nipples straight out!!!(Sorry to be sooo crude...but I read this once...everytime I feel my back curling and my posture going...this is what I think...sorry i know its not the most pleasant thought....but hey...I find it funny :lol: :lol:

    I am glad to hear you are talking to your brother..its such a waist of time falling out with people..dont you think?? Mind you...hmmmm...maybe I should re think that thought. ( Ilook like egor today, creaked my neck and I am finding it difficult to lift my left arm up) . :lol: :lol:

    I am sorry to hear that you lost your mum!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: Even though I have a strange relationship with my mum (ie) I find her over bearing and controlling.... I dont think I could cope without her! So I say to you...you are doing a really good job with everything!!!

    Remeber....to point them straight out :lol: :lol: (its good that one, it works for both man and woman!!!) smile :lol: :lol: :lol: Hope I have worked to cheer you up a bit! Good luck for Monday, Luv Tiny Tears.

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  • Posted

    Hi Tiny Tears, yes that gave me a big laugh!! :lol: I've just tried it...glad no-one could see me!! lol Thanks for that, sorry you have got a bad neck..just stick em out n have a giggle to urself! :lol: Take care love Lorraine xxx
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  • Posted

    I am glad you found it funny smile I dont know , its the sort of thing that sticks in my head...it will be there forever. Take care, Tiny Tears.
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  • Posted

    I have to admit I do that too - frequently!

    Isn't that what we should be stood like all the time if we had correct posture LOL

    I think because of our low self esteem and moodys that we have :shock: we tend to stoop, as though we are trying to hide ourselves away - hence the terrible back and neck pains we suffer.

    I seriously thought I was starting with arthiritis - my mum started with it in her 40's so just thought I was too. I never even gave anxiety I thought as to being the cause of it. It was my doctor that said it was due to the anxiety. I have to admit that I was still not convinced but now having taken citalopram for just over a week and having periods of relaxing - the pain does ease during relaxation.

    I don't think my work place is too happy about me being off sick with anxiety - normally when off sick they email or phone to ask after me, but no one is this time. That in itself is casuing me to feel stressed and worried. I keep telling myself that I'm being paranoid but it doean't seem to help.

    Off to point my nipples to the world now :shock:

    Hope everyone has a good day.

    Melbi x

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  • Posted

    :lol: Melbi, [b:d11e6a8231]dont worry about your work, some people just are to (duh!) and insensitive to understand, its not your fault, your not.

    Let them stress, not you!!! Yep!...that posture thing...it works...my neck is feeling better today...nervous though about tom!!!! :x :x :cry: :cry: :cry:

    My mother is hounding me...suffocating...up every day.....someone give me a life.!!!! :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

    Feeling nasueated....dont get me wrong I love my mum...just cant stand the way my partner and her...make me the baddy!!!!!! :oops: :cry:

    Melbi, thank you for the flowers :lol: :lol: [/b:d11e6a8231]

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