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Just checking in, I come on here most days and this site really does help – so thank you all for advice!
Doing much better, I am still having binges but not to the degree I was. I think my panic of having heart failure scared me too much!! If anyone didn’t read my previous posts I drank (again) a huge amount 70cl whisky and 4 botts of vino in 2 days and really thought I was dying ( I had the gastric bypass so booze REALLY hits me quick these days!), my heart raced for days and was genuinely terrified. I am so disappointed with the NHS – again – my heart was fine but the doc sent me away telling me to drink 2 bottles of wine daily till I could see the counsellor whos next appointment would have been 2 weeks from then! Oh and she kindly gave me a leaflet about alcohol units on the way out!! Grrr!! They won’t supply Librium but they are happy to give me a repeat of 100 Tramadol and max anti – depression tabs each month without question …. ARGggghhhhh!! I have a history of severe self harm when drunk and its all on my records, I explained this to the doc but she insisted I kept drinking the 2 bottles of wine……….. Again … Arghhh!!
But with Pauls advice I was fine after my major binge and have cut down so much. I really want to stop but I can’t envisage that just yet so step at a time. Sounds silly but I know when I have a drink I make sure I eat first and drink water also – its all
crazy as I hate drinking but that’s another demon I am facing – I can’t understand why I do it – but I do!!
But my advice is to others, try not feeling so guilty and when we screw up – It’s a disease and it’s not out fault- my other half thinks I am weak and pathetic but I KNOW I am not. The main thing is to keep on trying every day and never give up the hope of freedom from this horrible thing we all have in common. I am really trying to stop hating myself for drinking and I know as long as I have the will to change I will ….one step at a time by helping myself and others when possiblex
Love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxx
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