Thank you everyone!!! xxxxxxxxxxxx

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Hi all,

Just checking in, I come on here most days and this site really does help – so thank you all for advice!

Doing much better, I am still having binges but not to the degree I was. I think my panic of having heart failure scared me too much!! If anyone didn’t read my previous posts I drank (again) a huge amount 70cl whisky and 4 botts of vino in 2 days and really thought I was dying ( I had the gastric bypass so booze REALLY hits me quick these days!), my heart raced for days and was genuinely terrified. I am so disappointed with the NHS – again – my heart was fine but the doc sent me away telling me to drink 2 bottles of wine daily till I could see the counsellor whos next appointment would have been 2 weeks from then! Oh and she kindly gave me a leaflet about alcohol units on the way out!! Grrr!! They won’t supply Librium but they are happy to give me a repeat of 100 Tramadol and max anti – depression tabs each month without question …. ARGggghhhhh!! I have a history of severe self harm when drunk and its all on my records, I explained this to the doc but she insisted I kept drinking the 2 bottles of wine……….. Again … Arghhh!!

But with Pauls advice I was fine after my major binge and have cut down so much. I really want to stop but I can’t envisage that just yet so step at a time. Sounds silly but I know when I have a drink I make sure I eat first and drink water also – its all

crazy as I hate drinking but that’s another demon I am facing – I can’t understand why I do it – but I do!!

But my advice is to others, try not feeling so guilty and when we screw up – It’s a disease and it’s not out fault- my other half thinks I am weak and pathetic but I KNOW I am not. The main thing is to keep on trying every day and never give up the hope of freedom from this horrible thing we all have in common. I am really trying to stop hating myself for drinking and I know as long as I have the will to change I will ….one step at a time by helping myself and others when possiblex

Love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxx

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi,

    Poor you what a tough time you are having, I'm sure most people will agree we all hate ourselves drinking and question then why do we carry on doing it??

    No real answer as you say it's an awful illness and a constant struggle

    Good luck my dear and speak to people when you feel low, it helps me

    R xxx

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  • Posted

    Thanks for your post, before a 64-70 units a day drinker, I cut down to 4 units a day.

    What a releive, I for sure couldn't do it without this little help from you in and outside this forum.

    I do check in every 20 minutes or so, just in case, actualy I stay on line 24/7, I just simply have to check, this for my own wellbeing as others.

    So thank you for your post and keep me up to date.

    Shouldn't we have a quote for this, like the brave French once had, one for all and.......

     

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  • Posted

    You are anything but weak and pathetic, you are amazing.  If only people knew how hard we struggle....but they never will.  Stay strong and positive, and keep on giving part of you to the people on here, it's more helpful than you could believe.

    Huge hugs back at you xxxxxxxbiggrin

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  • Posted

    Hi and well done to you. Forget the past and move on (if you can...) IT DOES HELP IF YOU CAN START AS IF YOU ARE REBORN...not going religous but simply this simpled thing of NOT blaming yourself from now on and simply say, YES, I CAN DO IT!
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  • Posted

    Hi Bardo

    please be carful with the tramadol I ended up addicted to it and went cold turkey after a year, it was the week from hell. I thought alcohol withdrawal was tough but that was a walk in the park compared to tramadol. If you really do want to stop drinking completely have you though of antabuse. That pill probably saved my life and I haven't had a drink for 13 years now.

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