That sense of dread and impending doom
Posted , 14 users are following.
After another week of up -and-downs, anxiety and panic attacks mixed in with moments of almost being a normal person, I thought I'd post about the weird feelings that come with this virus.
I'm so convinced it short-circuits the nervous system and sends everything haywire, because nothing else explains the bizarre and sudden onset of panic attacks. Maybe it inflames something that sends out bursts of cortisol? The fear is insane.
Does anyone else wake up with this all-pervasive sense of dread, as if you're doomed? It's so awful. On the logical side, I know I'm not dying. That I will get through today, and tomorrow, just as I've done for the past seven weeks. But then the agitation and anxiety inside of me is convinced of something entirely different - that I'm living on borrowed time and this is really the end and it's just that no one else has discovered it yet.
I have moments where I can put this feeling in perspective, and I'm grateful for those. But then I have moments - lots of them - where it consumes me. That's when the panic attacks tend to set in. I had one so bad a couple of days ago I almost fainted.
I hate this virus. HATE it.
2 likes, 18 replies
rhonda21886 emma198181
Posted
Hi Emma I suggest you go to Dan Neuffer's ANS rewire website. listen to his first 4 video's on line free. you are right it is a Nervous system issue. I've always known it was. He is great at explaining it and how to rewire it.
Rhonda
MonorailNick rhonda21886
Posted
good reccomendation!
craig07920 rhonda21886
Posted
It's wonderful to see a post from you Rhonda - how you are doing?
Craig
vancityraincity emma198181
Posted
hi! i had this for a while really bad at the beginning, would wake up so scared and this unexplainable feeling of panic, fear, doom, horror. it got better but i know what youre talking about and it stinks 😦
emma198181 vancityraincity
Posted
Hi Vancityraincity,
It's just awful. How long did you experience it for? Some mornings I'm okay, other mornings I'm just a ball of agitation and convinced this is the end. What a mindjob.
craig07920 emma198181
Posted
Hi Emma,
This virus is so awful, I remember going through the same awful episodes of fear and worry and real panic over how unwell I was feeling and not knowing what was going to happen or how long it was going to last or even if things would get better - it's such a terrible and draining and sickening experience to go through Emma, I'm so sorry to hear you've been on this emotional rollercoaster lately and just want you to know I am thinking about you.
It's so hard to keep things in any kind of reasonable or rational perspective when going through this - I know I struggled badly with this, because you know you just don't feel right and just don't know what to do. The only thing I felt I could do in those moments was to turn to God and ask for His help, as I knew it was far too big for me to deal with in my own ways.
Emma - no matter how bad you feel today, I want you to know that you WILL get through this and WILL get back to full health again. It is CLASSIC of this virus to try to almost trick you into thinking something really serious or sinister is going on because the symptoms feel so intense and debilitating and when it goes on like that day in and day out for a couple of months it is only natural you would be feeling weary and with all sorts going through your head. I remember thinking to myself 'surely ALL these symptoms can't be caused by this virus?' and worrying that other things were going on, but it WAS all being caused by the virus Emma - it is a nasty nasty virus and it can take time to recover fully but absolutely given my own experience and reading the experience of many many others who struggled with this, I truly truly believe you are going to get back to 100% health with time.
This is the worst stage Emma when you're still in the intense phase but it's been going on for weeks and weeks and weeks on end and it's just so draining and exhausting to get through a single day physically, mentally and emotionally.
But this intense phase does pass Emma, but just take it one day at a time and remember that it is normal to be feeling like this after seven weeks and then it is equally normal to go on and make a full and complete recovery - but don't panic if it takes a little time Emma, it's so hard to be patient I know I'm the world's worst at it during trials - but truly you will get there. God will get you through I have faith that He will. Message any time you're feeling low or weary Emma, thinking of you.
Craig
emma198181 craig07920
Posted
Thank you Craig - it truly is hard to just get through the minutes, then the hours, then the days one by one with this constant, high-level anxiety. In part it's the virus and in part it's other things that have happened this year - my mother passed away in July, and to be honest I think the stress and grief over that was what led to the drop in my immunity that let this virus in.
So I still haven't had time or energy to try and process any of that grief, I've been so slammed with every horrible thing this virus brings. In recent days that's been muscle twitches in the most random places, at random times. The neurological stuff that keeps popping up is terrifying me, but I'm trying to remember to just breathe and focus on what has improved (when I can).
craig07920 emma198181
Posted
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother Emma, what a truly awful time you've had. It's so true that this virus seems to strike when people are under significant stress for some reason or other - there is a definitely connection between stress and your body's response to this virus - I don't pretend to understand it myself but there truly is something in that. And that's not in any way to say that this virus is only down to stress, of course it's not because it's a real physical virus in your body.
Hoping that the muscle twitches settle this week for you Emma, I know when going through this virus I would have given all the money and possessions just to have my health back, it's so precious. It's only understandable that you would feel so anxious and frightened given everything you've been through and are going through - it really saps your confidence this virus and it takes time to rebuild that, but believe me Emma that will come as your body starts to improve - which it will!
Definitely just going back to the breath and even for me it's things like just speaking out loud to myself 'It's okay, I'm okay' over and over again in those worst moments. Also listening to relaxation, breathing and healing verses videos on You Tube I have found to be helpful too, and I know there's many apps on things like mindfulness, etc, too that are many worth trying.
Hang in there Emma - I'm thinking about you and I will be keeping you in my prayers. Hoping for a better week ahead for you and remember just take it one day at a time - and remember it won't always be this hard or like it is now - this is temporary and it will pass, even though goodness knows I know you desperately you must want it to pass quickly.
Craig
Jelley93 emma198181
Posted
This is so relate-able during the early days of glandular fever my anxiety levels were through the roof. I was shaking constantly waking up with panic attacks etc. Get yourself some magnesium which will calm you somewhat
Mono_too emma198181
Posted
Hi Emma,
This lasts for some time, you just get better at dealing with it. I agree that it effects the nervous system. It does go away however. I am sorry you have to go through this miserable virus.
emma198181 Mono_too
Posted
Thank you Mono_too, I'm sorry you've been through it as well. It's one hellish rollercoaster.
Maggie2424 emma198181
Posted
Man, I'm 4 months in and experiencing a symptom relapse where I've just been in a perpetual panic attack. Not happy to be having symptoms, but glad to know that the anxiety will go if/when the virus does!
emma198181 Maggie2424
Posted
Sorry to hear Maggie 😦 The panic is just awful, I've never experienced anything like it. I feel like I was in one long panic attack from the acute infection up until about 9 weeks (when the panic finally lessened for me). I'm desperately hoping that it doesn't return, but I know this virus can relapse so if it does for me I hope I can keep my head.
Wishing you a fast recovery x
markm70857 emma198181
Posted
Hi Emma sorry to hear you are not feeling ok.
If this may comfort you, I think many folks here ( myslef included) had kind of depression / stress about health conditions caused by mono symptoms, which can look very serious and like nothing anyone had before.
From healthy and sporty man I turned nearly into a psychic wreck but I translated myself after worst symptoms that I cannot add more stress to it. The sooner I put myslef together, the better for recovery. The body is fighting with the virus and adding a stress is not good in recovery process for any illness.
I n my case I stopped thinking about it, watched some of my favorite movies, focused on plans and hobbies, tried to rest and not to think and worry about it, as mono will eventually go away based on what others report.
Good health to you !
starrA emma198181
Posted
sorry for your struggles
i had to start
lexapro
5mg
microdose
it helps anxiety a ton
took edge off this feeling
calm body
promotes healing
im anti drug
but this is awful
gotta do what we have to
breathing
Thymus Tapping good too
walk fresh air
light stretch
if u can
prayers to all
God bless us.....