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When I'm newly sober...I am very in tuned to ANY signs of alcohol around me.
Tonight I was on a JOYFUL, SAFE, SOBER ride to our local store...just to look around...cause I CAN now...I'm not crippled by alcohol anymore.
I got about 2 streets away (and it was dark out)....my headlights hit a "bottle" on the side of the road...a small "shot" bottle...they call them "nips" here in the US.
nip = a bottle the size of 1 shot of many different kinds of hard liquors (whiskey, vodka, etc.).
First I THANKED GOD I was sober. And I felt a pure spike of pain go thru me...it was fear. I was afraid of that bottle...even thou it can no longer do me any harm, if I do not allow it.
Second, I prayed for the person who disposed the bottle to the side of the road (most likely someone driving that did not want the evidence in their car)
Third, "I felt crazy" because...I wondered how many other people would even notice that bottle to be anything but "trash" on the side of the road?
I know children will be walking that way to school tommorow. I wonder if a bit of curiousity about that bottle will set off some alcoholism subconsciously in some child? Maybe 10 will walk by and not notice it...but will there be one like me? One so fascinated by the design on the bottle that he/she wants to grow up and get one someday.
I don't know the story behind the bottle...but I do know that the person that tossed it - is suffering and is not thinking clearly..the only thought process is "I have to get rid of this"....
I feel very lucky tonight when I arrived at the store...I bought normal things...I looked normal....I talked with people in the store, I may have even smiled.
And yes when I returned...the bottle was still on the side of the road
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