The Ex's responsibility?
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi! This question has been bothering me for so long ... so my ex left me 5 mo ago. He is back with his ex that he left me for. When we first started dating I told him I had herpes and he should use protection. He did for a bit then opted not to. In the 5 years we were together he has never had a symptom. Anyways ... I know he hasn't told her of my condition and that's he's a carrier. To my knowledge she hasn't had any symptoms.
My question is .. should I mestage her .. or is that just mean of me? He won't tell her. And I know he's not committed to her. I found out he went to a swingers club with some other woman twice.
What should I do ?
0 likes, 7 replies
Why_me linda73146
Posted
I think you should tell her! He's just going around spreading it and not caring! Smh
so06472 linda73146
Posted
if he never had symptoms, how do you know he's a carrier? Better make sure he is before doing something.
linda73146 so06472
Posted
So .. if we had unprotected sex for nearly 5 years..and he never got aNY symptoms .. that means he doesn't have it .. or is he a carrier ?
This is what I dint understand.
The guy that gave it to me swears he doesn't have it . He never had symptoms. Yet I had my initial breakout a week after we had unprorected sex. I had a nervous breakdown. That was about 7 years ago.
justsolucky524 linda73146
Posted
Unprotected sex doesn't mean you are guaranteed to become infected it just puts you at a higher risk of being infected. Many couples are together for years without the use of protection and yet some may become infected after one sexual encounter. If it hasn't been confirmed that he is positive then you could be very wrong for telling her. A carrier is someone that definitely has hsv whether they display symptoms or not. I was with my bf for around three years before I got it.
so06472 linda73146
Posted
Have to agree with justsolucky. I got it from someone who swears he doesn't have it but he was my first encounter in 3years and doctor is positive it was a new infection (so I wasn't a carrier before). I could go around telling his new partners he has it but it's not my place to tell, especially since he will say otherwise. Your ex could have it without showing symptoms but without symptoms and a blood test, there is no way to tell he's a carrier. In that case (might sound harsh...) you have no business saying he has it. What you can do is tell this girl you have it and that it could be a good idea they both get tested. But even then, without symptoms, they might get a false negative. All and all, he didn't give it to you and you must likely didn't give it to him, which is a good thing.
linda73146 so06472
Posted
Thank you! That makes a whole lot of sense!
I won't say anything. It's nobe of my business. I will just tell any potential new parents that I have, as I have done in the past.
Thank you all for your insight!
FelizCastus linda73146
Posted
You don't know that he's a carrier. He may not be, despite having been with you. You could warn her that he has been exposed, however, so *could* be a carrier and should get tested. You could also let her know about his swinger club activities! But she may just view you as a bitter ex trying to get back at him, etc. Your call at the end of the day, but you cannot assume he is a carrier. There is a good chance that he's not.