The first few critical months of RA before erosions

Posted , 5 users are following.

I have read from numerous sources that once you first get RA, if you manage to get it under control before you have a erosions in your hands, there is a chance that your condition will go into remission and not to bother you again.

but if you continue to push yourself and do have a erosions then there is no chance of remission and a good chance that it will spread to other regions of your body.

The reason I am asking this is because when I first felt this condition in my fingers, and could barely move them,  I knew there was something terribly wrong and that I would do permanent damage if I continued to work at my job, in which I am on the computer all day long, my company overworking me 10 to 11 hours a day of intense computer work.  I was fairly new to the workforce and did not have much money.  The doctor did not diagnose me properly, I still felt I needed to come off work in order to not damage my hands permanently.  

My parents basically forced me to stay at work for six months,  I did bad damage to my hands and erosions and now my fingers are not only messed up but it is spread to my wrists as well.

my dad still will not admit that he did anything wrong, for three years now and I am beginning to hate him for it.  I can't forget that they turn their back on me at such a critical time in my life,  but for him to still be defending his position.

my parents are quite well off as well,  still would not support me for a month or two until I figured out what the real problem was and got better.  A Month or two for the rest of my life is all I asked.

how can I not only forget what they did, but forgive them also?  Especially when my dad is still such a dick.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Mambo,  I agree with you being forced to work.  Were you diagnosed with RA at that time.  I believe you need treatment early.  This happened to me.  Now everything I want to try the Docs say "You're damaged too much so there's no point. All I can do now in try and control the pain.  So you need treatment early.  I believe your Father was wrong.  Are you only young?? 

    I don't know how you forgive him though.  That will be hard.  So sorry to hear your story. 

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    • Posted

      Yes I'm still in my late 20's.  The doctor took too long to diagnose me, but I told my parents 100's of times there was something terribly wrong with my hands and I needed to come off work for a bit to get better. 

      They accused me of faking it to get off work, and said they wouldn't support me.  It crushed me hearing it from them, after knowing me all my life that was the conclusion they came to about me.  

      Now I'm in constant pain and when the flair ups come, I can't help be reminded of how they didn't help me.  

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    • Posted

      Oh my goodness.  Did you live with your Mother and Father or were you by yourself??  I was diagnosed at the age of 16.  I had the most caring parents.  I can't believe your own parents would think you would fake it.  I don't know if I could forgive that.  Are you taking something on a regular basis or only when you get a flare?? 
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  • Posted

    Is exercise in the early days that bad then? My physio keeps telling me that I won't damage my joints and if I keep still, the mussels and tendons will weaken and make it easier to damage them in future.

    In defence of your parents (because you sound like you want to forgive them) they were doing what they thought was best with the information they had.  The doctor said you could work. In the current job market, 6 months' out of work with no evidence that there was anything wrong, would have made it near impossible to get a good job ever again.

    I'd be more angry with your doctor personally.


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  • Posted

    Hi Mambo889,

    Gentle exercise will help keep your joints supple. Swimming is the best exercise, but don't engage in contact sports or anything high impact. It is true that the earlier treatment starts for RA, then less damage is done to the joints. But it won't stop the disease entirely. You need to be taking whatever drugs you are prescribed for the rest of your life. You can go into remission, but don't be fooled, it is only temporary and it will come back. Take walks whenever you can, but be aware never to overdo it as RA can also cause fatigue, so you need to balance your exercise with regular rest periods.

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