The good and the bad

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So been on mirtazapine now for 6 weeks or so . My anxiety is still there but no where near as bad as it was. Previously on sertraline for 3 months wich sent me a bit crazy with constant panic attacks and nightmares. So that's the good . However the anxiety is now replaced with depression and constant lows.

I was 43 last week and I don't look foward to anything. I get up go to work to a job that I hate (I'm self employed ). People owe me money that haven't paid. I go home sit in front of the TV watch the same old sh*te. In the last 3 weeks or so my hair has gone grey and receding . I'm so fed up. Started drinking again which I had gave up for 3 years. Just can't find enjoyment in anything. Had been planning to go travelling at the end of the year for a couple of months but even that doesn't fill me with any happiness. Have now been waiting for a physiatrist appointment for 3 months good old nhs. Just really fed up and giving up hope 😕

Anyway rant over I've been sitting outside my customers house for half an hr so I should go in and do some work 😢

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  • Posted

    Keep with them rich , took me a few weeks to get used to them they knocked me for 6 at first but that's settled down now , try no drink too much on them or they won't work , keep at it x
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  • Posted

    I can see how your problems with work could make your depression worse. But you do need to keep off the booze, that combined with the Mirtazapine will be depressing your body systems, making you less able to motivate yourself. All you can do is keep going, give the medication time to work, and go back to your GP if things get too bad. Perhaps he/she can get you in to see the psychiatrist sooner.
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  • Posted

    Hi Rich

    Sounds like you're really having a hard time; classic that you diagnosed your own dep & anx with: " I get up go to work to a job that I hate (I'm self employed)" - fundamentaly this is your reason for being ill (probaby).  Before you see your p.doc I wonder if it's worth researching your options to change this.   Says she who can't make changes .. that's another story. 

    It's no use saying, eat well, don't drink, take exercise .... although a book I'm reading and I quote " we need broader mood literacy and an awareness of tools that interrupt low mood states before they morph into longer and more severe ones.  These tools include altering how we think, the events around us, our relationships and conditions in our bodies (by exercise, medication or diet).

    "Reasons to Stay Alive - Matt Haig" - it's a good read, not that he was suicidal or anything.

    So far, Mirt (15mg) has worked well for me, I had chronic anx' that went on for what seemed forever, then Mirt fixed my insomnia and 10 months later I've done CBT, Mindfulness, meditation, and constantly read around the subject and practice gaining a stronger MIND, and trying to steer my mind away from negativity.  

    Have you thought of trying CBT, or maybe go straight for a professionally recognised private practicioner for MINDFULNESS.  Your p.doc may be able to recommend one but why wait.  

    I hope you can fuind a way to help lift your thoughts a little, one drop at a time, to build a ladder to the way out of your probs.

    Wishing you well Rich, with kindness.

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    • Posted

      Hi many thanks for your reply. Was having a particular bad day then. On the whole I feel much better on mirt than I did on sert.

      Am looking at a job change. I have osteoporosis of the lower back and two bulging discs. Which makes tiling floors not much fun. The constant pain makes me miserable. I've done the same job for 22 years so it's hard to find a different job with reasonable pay.

      I have the book cbt for dummies. And funnily enough my ex has just lent me the book. Reasons to stay alive.

      I definitely think a life style change is in order 😀.

      Many thanks for your help Richie

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    • Posted

      Ouch ... sounds painfuful !  You're going through quite a lot of changes too by the sounds of it, splitting from your ex too.

      In an odd way I'm really enjoying the book, it doesn't quite normalise the symptoms we go through with anx & dep' but it certainly makes me realise I'm not alone, as does this forum.  Hope you enjoy the book, it's very easy reading and kits about a guy going through his early life so it may resonate with you, although he seems to be lucky in love.

      All the best for now Richie

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