The images,

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i now know i have ptsd i used to think it was depression, then i realized it cud be a smell or the tune from the sweeny. this is the worst ptsd attack, my first traums i now know isnt the start of my ptsd. i realised it started at 6mnths old. being left alone over night regularly. i think that feeling of being Abandoned left me a vunerable child, this allowed and made it easier for my abuser.

also for everyone after him to take advantage of my abandonment issues. wish i cud take the image's aswsy

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2 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi janice, what you describe is neglect followed by abuse that has never got any easier to live with! I know how you feel because I get persistent flashbacks and nightmares to do with assault which worsen when I have assault counselling. Touch is a massive one for me. I hate being touched or anyone touching me completely! I get really scared about sex, men getting too close, especially when I am out and about. I hate having ptsd but know I have it. It is trying to get others to understand you that hurts mostly doesn't it? I do really understand - I think some support would be good for you so you can understand and deal with this more easily. You shouldn't live your life scared, go talk to your doctor, not about medicine unless of course you have considered this already. You need to talk to someone about abuse really I would say, I live in Leicester and am awaiting a confirmed appointment from a place that deals with child abuse/assault and they are willing to help me. I don't know where you live in the country but could you possibly ask to see someone like this, just so you can cope? You haven't said how old you are, so I have no idea how far back childhood was. I hope you get on ok. Private Message me if you can.

  • Posted

    I understand how you feel, I think, I was abused myself as a child upto age about 13,14, And t does feel like people"" abusers"", paedo's, know what to look for, like they know you are weak, I am 50 ,male, and I still suffer flashbacks, panic attacks now after 30 odd years, I have triggers that can set me off, I know of about 6-7 triggers, and then they can come up all of sudden, which are the scariest ones, I've tried everything, medication, counseling, but I still suffer, you do need to try professional help, I think.

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