The lowest of lows

Posted , 5 users are following.

I've had alot going on recently, looming hospital tests for blackouts, problems with work, financial and family stress. I've had depression for a few years now but haven't felt this low in a while I've tried Citalopram, Fluoxetine, Sertraline and now mirtazapine 45mg it just doesn't seem to be helping anymore I've been on it nearly 2 years, my GP was supportive and gave me hope of trying something new but now doesn't want to. I feel in all the chaos right now that I need a little hope I know its not the answer but I need something consistent.

I'm at breaking point and hurting those around me with my low mood and lack of motivation, I feel a failure , ashamed and don't know how to get out of this hole . I called a well-being team but could be waiting a month to be seen. Next appointment with GP isn't available until the 10th Feb and awaiting a call all day but nothing.

Sorry to ramble on but I'm at my wits end and on the edge , has anyone else had a GP who is witholding new anti depressants that you feel could bring hope ?

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi luke 

    its okay to feel this way but you have to tell yourself that you are not a failure 

    Nobody is perfect we all make mistakes we are human 

    Only God is perfect 

    Try to say good things about yourself and think of the positive stuff you have accomplished in life 

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  • Posted

    Hi Luke,

    I'm sorry to hear how tough life is for you at the moment. From posts I've read, it's quite common for the benefits of ADs to wane over time (perhaps the body gets used to them and the benefits just wear off so if you are on the maximum dose, there is nowhere else to go). I'd say it is much more unusual not to be able to find an anti-depressant that works. We are all different though so the search can be longer for some than others. If you feel as though your GP is blocking your progress then you are entitled to seek out a second opinion from another doctor. The waiting to feel different or at least some improvement is one of the most frustrating things with depression. Don't give up hope of feeling better in the near future. I wonder whether you could benefit from some "talking therapy" or CBT. Have you got a close friend or family member whom you can share things with? Just talking can be a big relief and a step in the right direction - not the whole answer but definitely part of the solution. When are your hospital appts coming up? Try not to worry too much as added stress can only make your depression worse. Anything you can do to meditate/relax/exercise is a good habit to have to promote your well-being.

    Keep in touch, my friend.

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  • Posted

    Hi Luke, 

    Feel free to ramble.  We care.  I agree with Digsby, exercise your right to seek a second opinion.  I have had doctors who would not help me.  I just change doctors until I find the right one for me.  It seems logical that your doctor should at least explain to you why he will not try something else.

    I understand holes.  And I understand feeling like a failure.  But it is not true.  Depression lies to us.  I have gotten to the point that I refuse to entertain those negative thoughts.  Of course it does not solve anything completely, but at least I feel a bit of control over the depression beast.

    Please work on finding a new doctor.  That could bring you hope.

    Thinking about you and wishing you well.

    Dawn, USA


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  • Posted

    Hi again everyone,

    Thank you for your kind messages and advice. I finally heard from my GP and have an appointment with a different one this morning so hopefully will get some help and answers. I am awaiting an appointment for CBT and counselling but it could take some time.

    Also have been waiting over a month and a half for hospital appointments for a heart check up. Hopefully today will plan out well and I can start crawling out of this hole.

    Thanks you all again,


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