The other side
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi all
I hope that you can help. I have read most of the experiences that have been posted on here but just wanted to explain my situation to see if you had any suggestions.
I married my wife in June 2011 after dating and living together for a couple of years. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone before hence why I proposed but unfortuantely she has a history of depression but the worst was a few years before we met. I am very fortunate in that I haven't had anyone in my family suffer from depression so I am learning to deal with it but my wife doesn't want to open up to me.
I guess that is why I have come on here to post and see if I can learn how other people have felt that it might help me to understand. I know that she will talk to me when she is ready but she isn't the kind of person that doesn't offer anything about herself even to me. She expects me to ask the questions and gets annoyed when I don't know what question she wants me to ask.
She started on Citalpram in November and in March her dose was upped to 40mg from the 20 that she had been on and since then she has been very distant from me. She doesn't like to be touched or share in any kind of affection. We went on our honeymoon to Italy and she wouldn't even hold my hand as we walked around. I have been told that some drugs have this kind of side effect and I was wondering if anyone had felt like this whilst on Citalopram.
Since the honeymoon things have only got worse as she is working 6 days a week and wants to go and see friends on the Sunday. She takes any excuse to go out without me and it never seems to bother her that we don't spend anytime together. I have mentioned this to her and she accuses me of being insecure and to get a life. My health and sleep patterns are starting to suffer from worrying about her and our relationship/marriage. As I have said I love her more than anything and I am prepared to do anyhting to help her but I am on the verge of making myself ill trying to keep her happy.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
0 likes, 5 replies
Zoogz
Posted
In a nutshell, I'd recommend patience; let her know you're there for her, but not to fuss at all. I'm sure she knows you love her, and will, I am sure, appreciate you even more for it when she comes off the medication.
Toffeeboy0
Posted
I have been showing her support but infortuantely until Monday of this week I wasn't in a very good place myself and so needed a bit of affection from her which she wouldn't give me. This just made me feel worse so I suppose we were bouncing from eaech other. I wanted her to show me some affection which she wouldn't so I tried harder and this pushed her further away.
Things are still not right between us but I have got myself into a hapiier state of mind and one in which I can try and not be affected so much by her shunning me all the time. What hurts the most is that she seems to be turning to her friends all the time but never to me.
Like you say hopefully things will improve when she feels ready to come off the citalopram but until then I will support her and wait for the good times to return.
Thank you for replying as it has helped put my mind at ease.
Zoogz
Posted
Toffeeboy0
Posted
The biggest problem at the moment is as I say she seems to want to spend as much time away from me as possible and when I ask her to spend some time with me she accuses me of trying to control her and being obsessed with her. I want to help her and understand what is going on but her answer is always that I don't understand so she won't talk to me.
TsukiUsagi
Posted
In my opionion she should be doing everything to help you out with your illness rather than just blocking it all out.
Maybe try to get some counselling so she can get her head around the issues you both are dealing with?
Hope all gets better soon x