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I am new to this, and firstly just want to say how happy I am for finding this site….after reading a couple of your experiences I burst into tears as I now truly believe I am not suffering alone.
I started to type out my whole story and where I think all my problems started, got halfway through and my laptop ran out of power, gutted!
Anyway I’ll explain a little how Im feeling now instead of telling the whole story:
Im a 24 year old girl who has never given depression a second thought in my life, until this month. I have started a course (14days) worth of citalopram today (26th September) at about 9.30am this morning and thought it would be a good idea to monitor my experiences and share them with you guys.
I recently have had a major episode of depression, I basically hit rock bottom 3 weeks ago and lost sense of reality for about 2 days. I now realise there has been a big build up towards this and feel better knowing that I have a problem, whereas before the scariest part was not knowing.
Ive lost nearly all my confidence, Ive had panic attacks, fear & anxiety, trouble sleeping, I can’t concentrate properly, my mind drifts and my thoughts race through my head. I’m struggling to talk and hold a conversation, I cant socialise and I find it hard to leave my house. My moods are up and down. I’ve had suicide thoughts (when I was having the panic attacks….and when Im feeling so low that Im scared I will never get better). It’s the feeling of being alone that is the worst.
My parents have been brilliant throughout this and without them I feel like I have nothing. Im not working because of it and Im taking everyday as it comes. I feel I have to tell my mum and dad how Im feeling throughout the day as I don’t want to push myself into doing anything Im not comfortable with.
I felt a bit anxious earlier, so Ive not left the house today. I just feel like laying on the sofa and watching telly.
Im already on sleeping pills, and have been for 3 weeks. I have felt more positive as the weeks has gone by but I still have down days which knock my confidence. I know I will get through this, its just understanding that it will take time and hopefully the antidepressants will give me the push I need.
I hope this has helped some of you, just remember your not alone.
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