The "talk" with a new partner.

I would love to see some of these stories also ...

I was diagnosed in December 15th ..

Me and my boyfriend have been riding through it together ... But it was a huge challenge to tell him that I had the virus .. One of the biggest things I've ever been through .

How did you get it ,? You have type one genitally ? Or you get cold sores ?

Do you get outbreaks often ?

Hi, i know my reponse comes a bit late to when this was posted. But i thought id share my story if it offers any kind of help or isnight on the question you have on hand.

I have genital hsv type 1, and was diagnosed early january.

About a month ago i told a guy (not my boyfriend) just a guy i knew wanted to have sexual relations with me. Based on a previouse encounter where we messed around and yes i was the infected but i didnt let him actually have sex with me for that reason.

Anyways this next time he wanted to "hang out" i suspected what he would want to do and i was ok with that but i knew i wanted to tell him what i had beford hand. So the day of when we would see each other i texted him before hand to let him know i had this condition. My text went something like the fallowing (this is not word for word)

"I have hsv type 1 also known as cold sores but instead of having it were most people have it, i have it in my genital area."

There was a bit more but that was what i put in a nutshell. He was quite nice about it...at first even told me he has hsv Type 1 but orally. Said he appreciated that i told him and that he was sure it wasnt easy to say but would not have relations with me. I knew i faced rejection, it wasnt easy especially becuase after that it went a little south. To be fair he was ok about the situation overall.

Anyways sorry that was so long. But i also wonder like you as a person with genital hsv1 What others experiences are as far as telling partners.

Oh quick update. I eventually met up with the guy again, casually and he asked me about it and so when i explained to him everything i knew about hsv1. He was ok with it and we had sex, guy is fine didnt catch it but then again he already had anti bodies against hsv1 becuasw he has it orally.

Hi there, my names Teresa and I'm 35 I was diagnosed with type 2 herpes about 7 years ago. It bothers me regularly especially if I'm run down. I stayed away from relationships for a few years than finally took a chance two years ago with a guy I knew for a while. I told him and he was shocked of course. I told him to take some time and I would explain what I could and he could research it if he wanted. After a few days he said we would get through it. But although we had sex with protection it was never right. I always felt he was afraid to come near me. It did end and too be honest I can't see myself ever being able to have a proper fulfilling relationship with a fullfilling sex life. I feel I'm never clean and it has affected my confidence and is a heavy weight to carry. I got it through oral sex and even when i think of myself I still feel disgusted.

I told my new partner before we had sex, it was one of the hardest things i've had to do, it took me about 15 minutes to actually come out and say it. i knew i had to do it because i wanted to have sex. he reacted so well and said "is that it?" and was really supportive because he knew how much i must care about him to have told him. 

it's honestly not as bad as you think it's gonna be, takes a lot of courage! 

Good evening to all. I was recently diagnosed with genital herpes but fortunately for me my fear and despair was short-lived.

As everyone else when I first found out I was completely devastated. To make it worse I contracted this from someone that I loved and was in a completely monogamous relationship. After a bout two weeks of feeling disgusting I went through about two more weeks of being fearful and ashamed. Coincidentally I had already known someone with the disease and had seen him get totally ripped apart by a gorgeous woman.

Naturally the first person that I told about the condition was my mother. She told me that because I was already at the bottom there was no where to go but up, and of course that seemed completely ridiculous to me at the time. She told me that sooner or later I would become tired of being a recluse and that I would not care about the stigma. Well folks mama was right once again lol.

Honestly what this disease has done to me it has made me totally free of fear. It now seems that I am going after women that I did not have the confidence to go after even before I was diagnosed.

How did it happen....

I am a recent graduate of San Diego State University. After going to campus one day to speak with one of the coordinators about a masters degree I realized just how foolish I had become. So what I did is I hung around for a while and picked out the most gorgeous woman that I had seen that day. I thought to myself that if I can handle rejection from her then I can handle it from anyone.

Moving back in the story....most of the people that I had spoken to about the situation would always tell me that the best time to disclose was once the person knew you a little bit or directly before you had sex. (For some reason people have this twisted idea that a woman still will not turn you down because you are both laying in the bed naked.) however I never liked this idea because I feel that it is somewhat tricky and manipulative. With this newfound confidence of mine I had a serious problem wasting someone's time if I knew that I had this disease. I just was not cool with trying to make a woman like or love me when I knew that I would have to drop a bombshell on her later.

So I decided to drop this bombshell on this woman from college named Courtney 10 minutes into the conversation. She looked at me and smiled maybe she thought it was a joke. I told her that I was serious the smile immediately disappeared of course.

She then leaned in and got close to my face and completely obliterated me. She stood up and walked away. Well it seems that this was the moment that I had been waiting for the moment when I had been turned down, The moment when I would find out just exactly how it felt.

However before I was even able to feel bad she turned around came back and sat next to me. She told me that she had been watching me from across the room and had been thinking the same thing. She told me that she could not do it but she thanked me and kissed me on the cheek for telling her and being upfront.

Now I know that for you ladies and gentlemen your first time may not go this smoothly, but honestly it is the reaction that I got from this woman Courtney that will forever make me completely impenetrable to the fear of "the talk."

Number two : Ashley. I met Ashley nearly a week ago at a bar. She was sitting at the bar in a really expensive dress I figured that he had either been dumped or had a bad experience at some type of celebration or something she looks sad and drunk so I figured that I would say a few words. I told her my situation about five minutes into the conversation. She did not seem to be fazed by it. I ended up bringing her home, however I quickly realized that she was not in stable condition. I just felt like she was far too drunk and it took everything in me not to give it to her that night.

When I woke up the next morning and looked over she was awake and already staring at me. Before I can speak a word she told me that she could not do it but she enjoyed the night she spent with me talking and flirting and she appreciated that I was able to take her mind off her loser boyfriend, if only for one night. Over the next couple of days I worked hard to educate her about herpes. I killed her with kindness and within three days had sacked her and it was completely amazing. Unfortunately she told me that she had to go back to her boyfriend so it was over.

Now realize that this has not become a game for me. If I was able to keep Courtney or Ashley I would have. But what I will say is that I will continue to take shots at the most gorgeous women in the city of San Diego California until I find one. I guess you could say that this disease trapped me while simultaneously setting me free.

Have no fear.

Please, have no fear.

Results may vary.