The Ups and Downs are SO Hard!

Posted , 10 users are following.

I have been dealing with perimenopausal hell for over a year. The emotional symptoms have been awful (numbing depression, feeling detached from reality with almost a feeling that I am hallucinating, terrible thoughts and images swirling through my mind...)

Last year, I had periods of about a week with virtually no emotional reprieve. In the past several months, I have noticed that the paralyzing depression never lasts more than about two days, before I get some level of relief.

For me, the hardest part is never knowing if I am going to be up or down. I just had two lovely back to back days where I felt like my old self: energized, positive, productive, and looking forward to life. Today, the depression has returned. I am able to get through my day, but it is so painful, and the contrast between feeling good and feeling like an emotional zombie is so hard to understand and deal with.

Are other women going through the same?

I just pray that the end is near.

Any supportive responses would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,


2 likes, 11 replies

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    I feel your pain Bev . Ive been the same for 18 months now and find it very debilitating. I have the lowest lows when im having bad days. I feel so isolated and detached from reality and family and friends its unreal. Once it takes hold i find it so so hard to get through my day once that black cloud starts looming over me. I never imagined it would be like this and like you im finding it very very difficult. The only thing i find that helps me is excercise. I just get my dog and walk for miles and miles generally crying and blubbering most of the way...i get some very strange looks lol. But the walking does help it doesnt eradicate it but seems to help clear things in my mind during all this mayhem and madness. My mind has literally gone to scrambled egg so much so i was convinced that i had early onset dementia. Are you taking any medication hrt etc or trying any herbal relief? I wish i could say something more positive just know you arent alone going through this hell as thats exactly how i would describe it. I love the good days where you start to feel like the old fun you again sadly they are very far and few between for myself atm. Im hoping things will settle soon as ive just had my hrt changed so trying to remain positive...though almost impossible once the bad thoughts start . I hope you find some sort of relief soon Bev as its very very hard to deal with

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    • Posted

      Hi Samantha,

      Thank you so much for your kind words; they mean a lot. It is reassuring to know that I am not alone in this experience. For a long time, I wondered what was happening to me, but now I realize that it is hormones. I am on an antidepressant, but it is hard to know if it is helping, as I am still so up and down. The good days give me the strength to continue, and they show me that the "old me" is still here.

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    • Posted

      It is so so hard and you really feel at a loss most days . Well i do . Always here if you need to unload as i find it helps to talk to people who know what you are going through

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  • Posted

    right there with you ladies, i've been pretty regularly up and down every 2 weeks over the past 2 years, though the past month has been the worst - no relief at all, i really don't know what happening, the nausea, anxiety, and depression are debilitating - really hope this means I'm near the end!?? but like you Samantha, i go for long walks and other excercise and it helps me get through the day, even when i'm at work i go out for walks when i need to - i've told them it helps my anxiety, and so they understand. I'm actually embarking on a course of Tms treatment next week - google smart tms, its supposed to work really well for anxiety and depression without side effects, though it is expensive - but if it works i think it will be worth it. I find the evenings are much better, i almost feel normal and i get some appetite back, then i fall asleep fine, but then wake up early with symptoms, it so hard but we will all get through this x

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  • Posted

    Hello Ladies,

    I'm 47 and have been in peri for about 5 years. I can relate to everything you are saying. I don't feel like myself at all. Lately I have been dealing with severe depression, anxiety and panic for the last month. I used to have these feelings randomly, but this time the depression is really sticking around. I'm also dealing with acid reflux, nausea, difficulty eating and bizarre aches and pains. I find it extremely difficult to perform the smallest of tasks. I feel like crying all the time and some days I feel like I'm going crazy. I miss feeling normal. I feel isolated and alone. I have been prescribed BHRT, but I've been afraid to start taking it because I'm worried I'll feel worse. I just want to feel like myself again.

    I will try to walk more and see if that helps. If you have suggestions that may provide relief, will you please share them? Thank you so much.

    I am sorry you are all going through this! I wish everyone better health and happiness! Big hugs--Sarah

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    • Posted

      hi Sarah

      im sorry to hear of your issues but just to let you know I am exactly the same as you.

      im also experiencing tinnitus now on top of everything else and its just awful.

      i am seeing a doctor on wednesday and want to try hrt but like you im worried itll make everything worse and i just couldnt stand that!

      is your nausea like sea sickness or like when u get off a fairground ride? mine just hangs around and i have headaches, vertigo , anxiety and panic attacks. all this has really knocked my confidence and ive had to take time off work as i just couldnt cope.

      are you feeling a bit better today?

      lou xxx

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    • Posted

      Hi Lou,

      Thank you so much for your reply. I'm sorry you are going through this, too. I feel a little better today, thank you for asking. I understand the frustration of symptom on top of symptoms. Through the last 5 years I've had just about every symptom I think you can have. Always a combination of different symptoms. Different things from day to day.

      My nausea comes and goes . Yesterday I didn't experience as much nausea as I had the day before. This morning it came on like morning sickness (I've never been pregnant so I'm only guessing what it might feel like based on what I've read). It feels like sea sickness. I have had vertigo off and on throughout peri, but the vertigo and nausea seem to be independent of one another.

      I'm inclined to try the BHRT just to see if I get any relief, but then when I start reading about the side effects (all of the gastro issues I'm already experiencing!) it makes me think twice.

      I hope you are able to find some relief whether you try HRT or some other treatment. Best of luck with your appointment. Please let me know how you're getting on. Take care. xo


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  • Posted

    I agree with the ups and downs.. I too will have really good days but then I'll crash after that. From what? It's not like I climbed a mountain-- just doing everyday normal things.. Don't understand. Before and during my period I'm totally useless-- sleeping so much with terrible cramps.. I never had that before.. Before, I would just continue on like my period was nothing to think about.

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