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I just can't get to grips with my mindset regarding alcohol. I'm currently trying to tell myself to have some alcohol-free nights, and yet I seem to cave in at the last minute or have a 'stress-related' reason to have a drink.
This is really beginning to annoy me now!
I have always drank alcohol; since may late teens and I'm now 60.
There have been many times in my life when I've gone without drink, whether it be odd days, weeks or in a few cases months.
However, for at least the last year or two, I've had very few alcohol-free evenings.
I mainly drink red wine (occasionally white), usually 12%-13% . . . so 10 units per bottle.
I drink usually between a half and a full bottle each evening; occasionally less and never more than one full bottle (which may happen once or even twice in a week).
So, by my reckoning, I drink anything from between 30 and 50 units each week, with no free nights. This is way above the recommended limit!
My LFTs have been above average for a few years, but the last one was 'normal' apparently.
I wake each morning both guilty and annoyed that I failed to avoid drinking wine the evening before. I don't have a hangover, but usually just feel tired and aching.
I've had issues with joint and tendon pain for a couple of years and my 'mental state' has been one of irritability. This includes swearing at myself etc. I often feel fed up, even though my family life is generally good.
It's my overall mindset that seems wrong. I'm an intelligent man but am at a loss as to why I don't just stop drinking wine in the evenings. I believe I treat it 'as a reward' or something like that, and yet have the guilt feelings the following morning.
I never have the urge to drink in the morning or afternoon, but ususally by about 7.30-8.00pm, I have the wine with the meal, then continue sipping until I go to bed.
Any comments or advice, empathy or solutions would be most welcome.
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