Things moving on...........but?

Posted , 9 users are following.

Well now nearly 23 weeks po new knee cap & metal trochlea. Knee is finally beginning to settle down and I'm feeling a bit happier in myself, even though I still have odd occasions when I get a bit weepy.

One thing I would like to ask is does anyone feel a little vulnerable when walking......I have times when I just walk normally and then I remember what's in my knee and it makes my stomach flip over in fear......stupid or what?

I must say that since my op I have become acutely aware of everything around me......people rushing about, steps, uneven ground (my worst nightmare is tumbling!) but I'm hopeful that even if it takes a while, I'll soon be treating all these things as normal!

Before I had my op I was a very happy go lucky person who just got on with life......I do hope I soon return to that! 

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16 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Pam, I am 19 weeks today. I hope in 4 weeks time I am feeling like you are today smile

    ​I agree that since my op I too am very wary of everything around me. I won't go into town alone or on Market days or Saturday as it is too busy. I am constantly watching the ground when walking outside, which I won't do on my own either. I too am terrified of falling over. If I was on my own, how on earth would I get back up. I always use my stick outdoors too.

    I hope your right in that soon we will not even think about it.

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  • Posted

    Hi Pam...this is my 4th attempt at trying to type this, as the page keeps reloading!

    I have felt very vulnerable with both of my knees and it is so tiring having to think about things when you go out, or even indoors.  People who have never had it done don't understand how scary that is.

    My second knee has just been a nightmare and I've not been able to go on a train for a year now (my favourite thing is going to London regularly for the theatre).  I'm back to walking with a crutch again and can't even enjoy a walk round the shops.  At least with the crutch people are generally more careful with you, but it's hard.

    My first knee is lovely now and I don't really think about it...but I long to be able to walk properly again.

    you are doing very well.

    Patsy

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  • Posted

    Yes Pam feel vulnerable still sometimes and I'm 29 weeks post op. Feel most vulnerable travelling on the train to work and walking in the rush hour apart from that I'm feel fine. It's because we know what we've had done and no one else does so they still rush past or knock into you. I don't know when that vulnerability goes away but would like to know!
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  • Posted

    Hi Pam and Elaine!

    I know what you mean about that nervous feeling!

    It made me squeamish just to LOOK at my incision! I remember thinking, "I am going to STAND on this new knee???!!!"

    Then, after standing, I would say to myself, "I'm going to actually WALK on this new knee???!!!"

    At each new milestone there was this feeling of being unsure how this NEW TASK was going to go!

    I guess for me the best thing was doing a lot of moving around in bed where I felt safe. Then it was feeling the safety of having my walker when I stood and began to walk.

    When I moved to my CANE I practiced A LOT right in my house before ever going outside with it or even out in public.

    I love being outside, so my yard and my garden were goals for me. I had my Total Knee Replacement in June, so I was VERY ANXIOUS to get practicing so I could get OUTSIDE!

    When outside I used my walker at first. It got in my way as I was trying to water. I then used my CANE. Then THAT started to annoy me. I was trying to move water hose AND hold the cane. Not easy!

    I remembered my physical therapist talking about lifting and bending my legs to regain a more normal gait as I walked. (I had been shuffling for a number of YEARS with this crazy arthritis!) I thought, "Maybe being outside on this soft grass which is, of course, UNEVEN with sticks here and there and walnuts and the occasional MOLE HOLE could the the best TRAINING GROUND for practicing my walking AND get my watering and gardening done at the same time!

    Well, it has WORKED! Between physical therapy, doing my practice inside my house for confidence-building, and my practice outside on UNEVEN grassy areas, I now am able to go without my CANE now and can be FREE!

    It feels GREAT!

    Another reason for my urgency about this is that in six weeks I go in for a Total Knee Replacement on my OTHER KNEE! I really wanted to get this FIRST KNEE strong because it will have to be my GOOD KNEE in just six more weeks.

    Be confident, practice where you feel safe, build up those leg muscles, and you will soon be moving along just as you HOPED you would be!

    Looking forward to reading about your successes!

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  • Posted

    Yes all that sounds familiar. Now seven months today finally starting to move away from that fear. Starting to think a lot less and although doesn't feel normal it feels like I can accommodate it and be normal. No tears some tiredness but nothing like before. I struggled with stiffness and bend and someone said it will improve with strength and balance so I have worked hard on balancing exercises and strengthening quads and calves - felt like giving up but now at last feel that I can move forward with life. Going to rye and get six months now and then have the other one done if it lasts which I think now it will. X
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  • Posted

    Pam I'm 6 months post now and waiting for further surgery as mine hasn't worked at all. Although knee is perfectly stable and I no longer feel like it's going to give way like it used too I am very nervous when out in public. I am so conscious of being knocked into. I do still have to use crutches when walking any distance so they do help me feel safer. My ligaments are not working so I guess I'm scared that I could still fall on my face. Unfortunately those around us don't know what we've been through...I must look like a nervous wreck 😳
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  • Posted

    Hey Pam. I had tkr July 15. I know the feeling of watching people and hoping they aren't going to bump into you or hit your knee. I get paranoid. I'm getting better. Yesterday I was in an old store with an uneven floor. I got out of there fast. It really scared me and I felt like I was uneasy. But I don't walk with a cane or anything. I'm hoping things get better...I'm sure it wil.
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  • Posted

    hi pam so glad your doing so well and yes i think we are all aware of these things when we start going it alone !!! out and about on our two feet its literly a big step excuse the pun !! being afraid of a tumbling i was so scared when i had to do without crutches while you have crutches people tend to give you space so without crutches its scary im still carefull of uneven ground and broken foot paths but you just have to get used to it i now walk alot faster but sill try not to take chances and wear runners all the time i hope soon il wear nice shoes but im not taking chances because of both knees done its always in the back of my mind what will i do if i fall when out as i know i wont be able to get up without assistance it really is the gift that keeps giving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    • Posted

      Usually if I drink it goes straight to my knees, not my head (strange I know!) So my theory is .......am going to drink myself into oblivion, will walk without thinking about it, won't care if I fall over and knee will be numb anyway. Result! Oooooh if only it was that simple!.

      Hubby and I have just booked a few days away to the Cotswolds.....why am I excited and terrified at the same time about going? I used to love going away with my hubby so to feel like this is irrational I know.....I'm hoping at some point this fear will pass.......you'll hear me shriek like a banshee when I return to normal lol!  

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    • Posted

      I like the idea of drinking and it going straight to my knees!

      Hope you enjoy your trip to The Cotswolds...such a lovely place.

      My Dad and I are off to Swaffham but, unfortunately, I have to do the driving.

      I shall struggle to walk, but need the change of scene!

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    • Posted

      oh enjoy the trip away with hubby you wont fall over its only in your mind the more you do things like going away is just what you need its suprising what you can do and the change of going somewhere different is so uplifting and if you have had a few you can hold on to him it will be soo romantic !!!!!!!!      and the feeling of falling will pass very soon i promise
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    • Posted

      Romantic......that means I'm gonna have to shave me operated leg......and my other one lol! 

      Not been too bad today, so beginning to look forward to our trip! 

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    • Posted

      I'm at that age where everything is slipping!

      Good job my husband loves me no matter what.......'coz I've laughed, cried, used every swear word known to man, looked dog rough more times than not and our love life is currently extinct. Am also menopausal!

      I'm either taking tablets for something, putting cream on and massaging, exercising to within an inch of my life, elevating, icing or resting......bloody hell I'm worn out........23 weeks and still counting. I think I might write a book. 

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    • Posted

      yes thats been my life for the  last few years due to two many ops on my knee it consumes your life but believe me it dose end and at that point you really enjoy the little things  in life health is wealth thats for sure
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