Things that help me through depression and I hope could help you

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I've been feeling pretty positive lately and I've learned quite alot about myself and my mental health on the road to recovery, so I thought I would share a few things in the hope that they might help someone else. I'm not trying to belittle anyone's depression and say these things will cure you, they may not help you as a person at all but I hope at least one person can get a little comfort from knowing these things have helped me and they might you.

First thing I want to say is....You are not a bad/terrible person, you are important, you are loved (by family/friends) and you are most certainly worth the fight!! So please never give up 💜

You are also not crazy, weird, abnormal or going mad in a sane world. There is a medical reason why you feel the way you do, you are not being oversensitive or overdramatic....You have an illness and should not be or feel judged or like any less of a person for this!! You have been too strong for too long and your body and mind just need some time and love to recover or you have a chemical imbalance in you brain and with the right anti depressants and some time and self care you will be on the road to recovery.

You are not alone and should never be afraid to tell someone how you feel, it's how u feel and you have no need to feel ashamed or apologize for that (there's nothing to apologize for).

Haha if that first part came across as bossy it wasn't meant to. It's said with care and compassion towards you and I just wanted you to know if you feel these things, don't beat yourself up about it because you are not to blame and you are not alone!!

Ok, onto what has helped me deal with depression over the years....

(1) The first thing and the most important for me and my personal experiences was to tell someone what was happening, even tho I didn't know what was....I just knew I was falling apart at the seams and couldn't cope any longer. I spoke to my family who actually at the time also had not alot of info about depression so it was hard at first with not alot of understanding there but they got me to talk to my doctor who referred me to a phycologist. I can hand on heart not recommend speaking to a phycologist highly enough!! It is uncomfortable and I don't trust easily so was very difficult for me to do at first but it is so worth doing if you fully commit to it and pour your heart out!! Just let it all out, all ur fears, anxiety, past experiences, sometimes I would say things that I didn't even know was bothering me until the phycologist dug a little deeper and emotional s would come out you have hidden for years!! I'm rambling now lol but I honestly would recommend this if you haven't seen one before. They work through everything with u and are there helping u , but I'm not going to lie....It's hard work at times if you're facing feelings you have never faced before, but it is so so worth the fight. After most appointments (not the first few but the rest!!) I felt like a load had been lifted from my shoulders and i could walk a bit lighter. Someone understood everything I was saying, everything I was feeling and they actually KNEW how to help me!!

(2) Do what you have to do to get yourself through. If you have to lock urself in a room for 2 days not wanting to see anyone, do it but don't get used to long periods of isolation as it is bad for ur mental health (it's how I became agoraphobic....Which i have now beaten yaay me). If u have to eat chocolate to help, do it!! Just don't end up eating too much, moderation an all....A little of what u fancy does u good.

(3) try and find joy in what u used to. I'm not saying it will be easy, I had joy in nothing but eventually little by little things start to click back into place and u see a glimpse of the person u were before!! If u used to love having a pamper night (bath, face mask, doing ur nails or whatever) do it....U might only feel like the bath and sod the rest but you'll feel fresher and a bit more human again!!

(4) Have compassion for yourself and your situation 💜💜 be as kind and compassionate to yourself as you would a friend. What advice or things would you say to a close friend or family member in your situation? Give the same love and compassion to yourself because u are more than worth it!!

(5) instusive thoughts ruining your life?! Don't try to push them out your head, trying to not think of them will only make u think of them more!! They upset you and make u feel uncomfortable right? You are not a bad person for having these thoughts, at all!! No matter how bad they are, as long as u don't actually act on them you are not a bad person and the reason they upset u so much is because u are a good person and don't want the bad things to happen but feel guitly/ashamed/afriad of the thoughts. You feel like there's something wrong with u and nobody would understand or even look at u the same way if they knew the awful thoughts that popped into ur head!! Well like I was, ur wrong, drs and phycologists know about these thoughts. It's all part of the illness you have!! So please don't be ashamed or afraid of them. Face each and every ugly thought when they pop into ur mind, accept that they are ur illness talking and not ur true thoughts and u don't have to feel bad about them any more. The more u do that and keep doing that the better u will get at letting go 😊

(6) Routine, same bed time, lunch time etc. Don't do what I did and stay up till 8am because u can't sleep and then throw your whole sleeping pattern out of whack!! Don't drink caffine before bed or so housework or anything that will wake u up. Even if u don't feel like getting up, if waking up in the morning feels like the worst thing that could have happened to u....Get up and stay up.

I hope this helps someone and makes sense and doesn't just read as ramblings lol. Take care and remember you are more than worthy of the fight!! 💜💜

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  • Posted

    I'm not done yet, was just afriad this would time out and I'd lose what I'd written 😂

    (7) get a blank sheet of paper and write a list of positive words (don't worry if there's not alot, the list will get bigger in time). Things like thoughtful, punctual, polite, good Listener, loyal, brave, compassionate, caring, friendly, funny...The list can go on and on. Ok now that you've done that the plan is to think of one or more things u did the previous day or same day it's up to u and use the words for ur actions. For example yesterday I left the house when I really didn't want to and was afriad to but did it anyway, so I showed bravery, I made the appointment I set out for and was punctual, met a friend and made her laugh so was funny. It doesn't matter if u can only think of one thing even if it's getting out of bed when all u felt like doing was curling up wanting to die...That is brave, u got up and face the day!! If u do this wee exercise every day or night it helps u feel better about yourself. If makes u see that there's positive about u or in u and ur not a bad person or a lost cause and u are a fighter!!

    (8) Write it down. If u are angry, have rage beyond belief or are hurt and upset and need to vent but it's 3am and there's no one to shout at (not recommend btw lol) or no shoulder to cry on....Grab a pen and bit of paper and u get that stuff out!! You write and write until you've said all there is to say or ur hand can't take the strain lol. This was amazing for me!! It really helps unload the emotions and frustration while not taking it out on anyone!! I'm not saying you'll never snap at anyone (again don't beat urself up if u do because it's all normal and to do with depression, it's not ur a bad person cause ur not). When I've finished writing and ur still feel angry, rip that paper up into a million bits and get more anger out.

    (9) Music. Get online or ur own music collection and think of the happiest most up beat songs u can think of or just songs u used to absolutely love. Doesn't even have to be recent stuff it could be a song u loved and reminds u of school discos or happy times. Compile a wee list of these songs and listen to them and remember how u felt and where u were or what u were doing. Maybe it was a first date and a song makes u remember. Try and stir up some happy emotions with these songs. Don't beat urself up if u can't, it won't always work but if or when it does....It's worth it. It's like a little escape from the way u feel now to how u felt back when.

    (10) stay connected to people. Worst thing I ever done was shut myself away for years, away from friends and said no to everything. Have u ever seen the film "yes man"? If not it's a great weekend feel good comedy and worth a watch. It's basically Jim carrey goes to a "yes man" convention and then is set the task to say yes to everything for, I think it was like a month? He did and it changed his life. Ok yeah it's a film and I'm not saying yes to everything that come u way, I'm just saying don't be me and say no to everything that comes your way because it's a very dark and lonely place to be for years. If someone asks u round for a catch up (and u really don't want to, u can't be bithered, u don't want to talk, laugh or have the energy to listen) force urself!! Sounds rubbish I know and at first u will think "why am i doing this?" "I knew I'd look weird or out of place" "I knew I wouldn't have a good time" or whatever the negative thoughts about the situation are, within maybe half an hour to an hour or even at the end of the visit to ur friend s house, u will be glad u went. You will be proud of urself for going and staying the distance and u will have also kept in touch with a good friend and maybe even had a vent 😊

    Ok that's me done for now. Again I hope someone finds these things helpful and doesn't think they are from someone who doest understand or has been through depression because I have .....many, many times in 9 years and this stuff got me through!! That and the love of my family and friends who now understand me and love me whether I'm depressed or not 😊

    I've done this and probably nobody will read it 😂 well it felt good to write anyway.

    If by some miracle someone has managed to dredge through this lol I thank u for ur time and patience and well done for not falling asleep 😂

    On a serious note, this is not a joke to me and you. I'm like chandler and make fun of myself alot.

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    • Posted

      I loved your post, not long at all!

      I wanted to listen to you all evening.

      I did do a lot of the things you spoke about, and it's true you DO have to push your self to get through it, it's so so so hard I know.

      Another thing that did help me in the later stages of recovery was helping others. I spent a day at a homeless shelter one day, it was hard work, but it just made me feel worthy and like I did something good in life, it also made me forget I was ill.

      Always being kind to others, and a big help was my faith in god, I got on my knees and prayed and cried and cried asking begging in fact God to make me well.

      Thank u again. Can I ask are your u well now?

      Are you on any meds?

      I believe my depression and anxiety was caused by an antidepressant that didn't go with me, the de prescribed it to me as I was feeling a little low and very tired , I don't think I needed AD though.

      Xxx

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    • Posted

      I just typed a really long reply to you and then lost it lol.

      I'm so glad u liked this post, thank u so much for taking the time to read it!!

      I completely agree, helping others makes you feel less Ill and worthy. I volunteer to help the elderly a couple of times a week and it has really helped me.

      Are u better off of your medication?

      I was on all different anti depressants for over 4 years and they worked to a point and then usually stopped at the highest dose, so u would have to try another one. I made the decision with my Dr to be weaned off of them under supervision and try and get myself better through lots of therapy. For me personally it's been the best decision I have ever made.

      My depression is no where near as bad now and is not year long anymore, I have now been diagnosed with seasonal affective disorder (pretty much winter depression as I understand it), so I take that as a win for now!!

      I use these things alot tho and will continue to do so until I don't need to anymore 😊💜💜 xx

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  • Posted

    It was a long post, but worth the read.  Thanks for posting!
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    • Posted

      Aww thank u so much for taking the time to read it!! Sorry it was so long, once I start talking there's no stopping me at times. Thanks, I hope you're well!!

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  • Posted

    Im sam and i am a 24 year old male from the south west of england (torbay) back in August I split up with my partner of 9 years which left me overwhelmed with anxiety my wildest dreams. By the time September I was in a terrible place and every day was a constant struggle and I honestly wanted to die. Things got even worse when I started taking citalopram 20mg. As the insomnia it gave me tipped me over the edge that's when the mental health crisis team got involved. Came to my house and told me I am just suffering with extreme anxiety. Cut an extremely long story short me and my partner got back together in November and guess what the anxiety was/Is still there. Not as bad I'll admit but some symptoms like rumination and mild OCD are actually worse. The sooner we realise that circumstances in life only make our anxiety worse. Doesn't mean it is the cause of our anxiety . We are anxious people and we need help with that. That's all! I am now taking sertraline 50mg have been for just over 2 weeks. Feeling a neck of a lot better. Getting back to the gym. Back to work and nearly enjoying life! Chin up peeps. Easy for me to say now I know.

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    • Posted

      Hi Sam, thank u so much for your reply!! I'm sorry to hear you have been through hard times!! I totally agree, especially with all the pressure these days that we are anxious people and situations/circumstances absolutely make that anxiety worse. I'm really glad that you are feeling better on sertraline, this was one of the anti depressants I felt worked best for me.

      It's good to hear things are on the up for u!! It's nice to read people slowly but surely getting better!! Thanks for sharing!!

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  • Posted

    Hi Good Morning

    I have just read you report how true of all of this is ME. Mental illness can happend to any body. Like yourself I just worked myself in to ground so much.My work shift 

    pattern came around so quick each week.All the way through this journey I did not  depress at all. So it came as a shock to me to be told you have acute deppression. But I did have a lot of side effects.I have been suffering for six years.Like every one else I had to fight for where I am today. As N H S did not really wanted to help. But there are some kind people out there who did listen and did help me.You are so right it is not your fault. The brain can only cope with so much.

    I am going to read your report again on my day off. Because there is so much info in it. Thank you so much for writing this it means so much.

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Lynn,

      Aww thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply to me. Sorry it was so long pol once I start talking there's sometimes no stopping me.

      I'm so sorry to hear you've been dealing with depression!! That's so true that the daily grind of work, work, work can wear you down and chip away at ur mental health then before you know it you have depression.

      I am so proud of you and everyone on here who have fought to get to the level they are at today!! You should be proud of yourself too, it's a tough place to be especially for so long. How are you now? I hope some of what I said can help 💜💜 xx

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  • Posted

    Thank you for posting this, it has really helped me. I have a history of depression but haven't had an episode like I'm experiencing at the moment for over 14 years. A lot of what you say in your post is what I'm trying to do to help myself but it is hard. This morning getting out of bed and getting my daughter to school on time felt like a mammoth task. I'm currently waiting to start counselling, unfortunately due to the Christmas break I've had to wait. I tried Setraline and Escitalopram just before Christmas but couldn't tolerate either - they made me so sick and gave me insomnia and I became too scared to take them. I was feeling so ill physically that it was making me feel worse mentally. I'm just about to try Fluoxetine. I thought I could manage without anti depressants but having had heightened anxiety over the last few days I asked to try something else.

    Thanks again for posting. Helps to know that I'm not alone and I keep clinging to a phrase I heard many years ago ' this too will pass' - even though it feels it won't at the moment

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    • Posted

      Hi Katherine

      Thank u so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post, it means alot!! I'm so glad you found it helpful!! Some of these things I learned from all of my time seeing phycologists and some of it I just tried because I too was waiting for appointments to come through, so u kind of look for anything that will try and help in the mean time. Sorry to hear you're suffering even worse depression than ever!! I completely understand and can relate!! I hand on heart can tell you tho that even tho this is the worst you have felt and probably part of u is worried/scared that you'll never feel well again....You can get through this and it does with time and pushing urself (just like u did this morning, well done btw!!), Get better. Slowly but surely things start to click back into place and u don't notice them at first until those things kind of build up and u look at urself and think "omg I did it, I made it through!!". I'm so pleased ur trying different meds until u find the ones that work for u, if the fluoxetine doesn't work for u, I found mirtazapine (not sure of the spelling) the best for me....They have a sedative effect to help u sleep too so I would take them at night.

      I wish u the best of luck and hope ur meds work for u and don't have ill side effects.

      Take care and let me know how ur getting on (if u feel like talikng). Proud of u, keep going 💜💜xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Hopeless.

      Well, GP started me on Fluoxetine 10mg, it didn't make me sick and I started sleeping better. Felt better in myself, read lots of books, appetite improved, leaving the house became a lot easier. Also started seeing a counsellor.So after 2 weeks increased to 20mg - took first tablet yesterday and about 4 hours later started to feel intense anxiety, like a panic attack, it's come and gone overnight - I didn't sleep at all. I know I'm over thinking things - am in such a panic that I'm not going to be able to take 20mg and if sticking to 10mg is a sufficient dose alongside counselling and other stuff I'm trying to do to address the depression. I am going to try 20mg again today but I'm really scared which is also fuelling my anxiety. It's a vicious circle. Feeling worse today than I have in weeks.

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    • Posted

      Hi I would be very carefull only take 10mg of this to begin with. 

      I was only allowed to take 20mg after 8 months. Fluoxetine takes about 3 months to really start working.I have been suffering for 6 years so for me it took along time.It will help you so give it time.

      Take Care

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  • Posted

    Hi Good Morning

    I have just read your reply to Katherine Yes it will take time any Meds you take will not show any inprovement for 2- 3 months that is what it took for me.

    But I was suffering for SIX YEARS with this so it is bound to take time.

    Because my Deppresion was so bad I will be on Prozac for the next 5 years.

    This is down to the N H S thats another story I could write a book about it

    Try and see another GP at the Practice.Some people say change the Practice.

    BUT you will only have a (label) put on your file. GPS do not like complaints against them.

    I found in my journey that GPS really do not understand. 

    I was so lucky to see a Locum Consultant Psychatrist and a Locum RE HAB

    Who allow you to talk they DIG really Deep and Listen.

    And not with an Egg Timer on the desk (YES THIS IS TRUE)

    Lets all try and help each other it is a Really Nasty Illness that will catch us all out.

    Without us knowling it

    Take Care

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  • Posted

    Hi Hopeless Good Morning

      That statement you wrote was very helpfull I would like a copy But I do not own a 

    Printer.

    Is there a private page on this site so I can leave an address.

    Please advise

    Take Care

    Lynne

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