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Think I might be depressed but don't want to go to the GP

Posted , 8 users are following.

Rossedindebt
Rossedindebt

When I say I 'don't want to go to the GP' I don't mean I don't want to seek help but I just think I'll find it difficult as I have a really hard time opening up and talking about my self. So considering that's what I'll have to do I'm looking for guidance and wondering if anyone else has been through this? Below are the 'symptoms' I have:

- constantly feel empty emotionally

- Find it extremely difficult to open up, can't talk to people about emotions or problems

- Put on an act when around people, fake emotions to draw away suspicion and to fit in

- Very tired, over sleep and find it difficult to fall asleep

- little to no confidence

- Dislike attention

- Am socially awkward but can switch it off and appear outgoing when I want to be

- tend to hate myself

- Very negative attitude, Pessimistic

- Lack of self worth. Feel like a burden and a waste of space

- Don't have high hopes for the future

- Haven't thought about killing myself now but have on a number of occasions imagined myself to be a 40 year old man living alone in a depressing flat and ending it then.

- Never happy with what I have

This is how I've felt almost 90% of the time I'm by myself for the last 3-4 years now. Like I said when I'm around people I fake emotions and I doubt my friends or family have any idea I feel this way.

Another worry of mine is that I go to the GP, tell them all this for them to say "you don't have depression" then I just don't know what I'll do with myself rolleyes

Thank you for taking the time to read this <3>

1 like, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • sue19918
    sue19918 Rossedindebt

    Posted

    Going to see your gp will make you feel that you have taken a positive step in the right direction. Good luck

  • fee25
    fee25 Rossedindebt

    Posted

    I almost had a heart attack when I went to see my GP for the first time!!! I was absolutely terrified, I was shaking violently, sweating, stammering, it really was scary. But, doctors are caring, empathetic and understanding. Is there a GP you know well at your surgery? Or one who specialises in mental health? 

    I didn't say all I wanted/needed to say in that first appointment, we took things one step at a time because I was struggling. She saw me once a week for a while, then once every 3 weeks and now once every 4/5 weeks and I have been seeing her since June now. My GP is wonderful and so caring and supportive and since that first appointment I was so glad that I didn't back out. 

    You've received some great advice here already, writing things down is a great idea - I wrote down absolutely everything, a whole script basically! I didn't use it, but it collated my thoughts and made things easier. 

    You'll be making a brilliant, positive step by seeing your GP and I wish you the best of luck with it! x

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