Thinking about starting Citalopram but scared!

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I have been suffering with anxiety over the past 7 years and it's got a lot worse. I'm currently taking Beta-blockers x3 (20mg) daily. My doctor recently prescribed me Citalopram and I'm terrified about taking them. I recently lost my younger brother in April of last year hense, my anxiety getting worse which has now made my depression a lot worse. I was due to start my level 4 in counselling in September of last year but had to differ as I couldn't cope with my grief. Could anyone please share with me their own personal experiences of anti-depressants...I don't know why I feel like such a failure but I do. I have no drive, energy, motivation, I cry all the time, I feel hopeless and sad constantly, I hate leaving the house etc. Is this just grief or depression? I know my doctor has prescribed me the anti-depressants...I guess I just want people's thoughts, do they really help without turning you into a zombie or is that just a myth? Any feedback would be very warmly received x

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Nicola,

    First, I am so sorry for the loss of your younger brother. That is a  very difficult thing to work through. I hope you are seeking grief counseling to help you through this very difficult time. 

    Second, you are definitely not a failure!! You have been through a really hard thing! Even if you had not been through anything as difficult as losing a loved one, life just deals us strange things and sometimes we need the assistance of medication to help us through it.

    Please try the medication. Ask yourself if you want to continue living like you currently are? I am guessing not. The medication will take a while to building up in your system. I don't read often of people feeling like a zombie unless their dose is too high. 

    I am certainly not where I want to be yet, but I am better than where I was. It takes patience and perservernace! 

    Take care! 

    Sissy

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  • Posted

    Hi Nicola,

    You don't have to be scared, you have done the hardest part. 7 years and a terrible loss, things can really only get better. We have all been that frightened it's part of the illness, negative thoughts are debilitating but don't let them stop you from trying to get better.

    Good luck and be positive xx

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  • Posted

    Welcome to the group . I never had anxiety or depression until last summer when my mum passed , so I know fully well how you are feeling right now . Grief is a horrible thing and my health anxiety seemed to come out of nowhere . It got to the point where I couldn't go on like that anymore and I needed to do something or I don't know what would have happened to me . I have been on 10 mg just over 6 weeks now and like you I was like and extremely anxious about taking that first tablet . I'm not going to lie the side effects were bad for the first couple of weeks , but everyone's different and you may be fine . What is the alternative though ? Just to go on feeling as you have been . It will be worth it definitely , so just take that first big step and take that tablet . This will be the start of your recovery and feeling like the old you . There's always someone here to chat to . We're in the same boat , so let's think of our future and remember our loved ones who we've lost would be right behind us willing us on . Take care Jane Xxx
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    • Posted

      Wow Jane, what kind words, thank you. My children are bathed and ready for bed so it's time now I believe, will be taking the first tablet in a second.

      Grief is so bloody hard, my whole life has changed as has yours. Times a healer, I don't think so. I've lost my brother and I'm loosing myself, it's now time to try change my mental state and be strong..easier said than done though but I'll give it my best shot. I'll hold you to that, might be on here asking advice when I'm weak. You hang in there also, I'm right here to support you if you need me biggrin thank you again x

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    • Posted

      Thank you . It definitely helps when there are so many people with the same problems offering words of encouragement . We can look after each other in our time of need . I hope that I've been of some help . I must admit yesterday was hard for me as it was my first Mother's Day without my mum . Speak again soon and remember if you need a shoulder to cry on I'm here . Good luck with the first tablet ! "Onwards and upwards " XXX
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    • Posted

      Took my first tablet at 8 this eve. I don't know you Jane but wow, your mum would be very proud of you! Thank you and speak soon. Xx
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    • Posted

      Hi Nicola,

      How was it taking your first tablet, I hope not too bad for you, you also took it in the evening so if you was able to sleep then you did not feel any side effect not that everybody does.

      I'm one of the unlucky ones I think I have had every side effect I am on day 19 today still getting side effects and no real improvement as yet. But I will preserve I have read many threads and it does not work over night it takes time, let be positive I no it's hard but it's something we need to do in this bad time of our life's 😀

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  • Posted

    Hi Nicola

    As the others have said be positive once you've started & talk to your family about how you feel & encourage their support as you may need it.

    I had to take cit twice & both times it took 8 to 12 weeks to fully reach normality again so please be patient with it.

    The cit basically blocks your body's natural production of serotonin (chemical that makes you feel normal/happy) so the first weeks can be quite hard & possibly make you feel a lot worse as it may prevent sleep as your melatonin may also lower.

    I took diazepam to help me get through the heightened anxiety during the days only when I needed them and zolpidam to help me sleep at night again only when j needed them.

    I like you was worried about taking all three tablets & the fear of becoming addicted (mind playing tricks caused by heightened anxiety) but as said I've been through it twice and no issues whatsoever coming off the Diaz & Zolp.

    Hopefully you won't get it as bad as described above but I just wanted to warn you of what can happen in case it took you by surprise.

    I also had anxiety for several years like before finally taking the cit plunge and am now 7 months into 2nd spell of 20mg cit and will not be making the mistake of coming off them again as I crashed badly out of nowhere & had to go through the whole uptake side effects again.

    Be positive and keep in touch with everyone on here - it helped me so so much in the bad times ag the start esp Katecogs.

    All the best Nicola

    Carl

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  • Posted

    Forgot to say - the cit blocks your serotonin production at first hence makes you feel worse for first few weeks but then after a while your body says 'hey WTF is going on here' & starts to produce more serotonin than it was before you took the cit - but this process is not immediate & your body/brain increase production very slowly hence the 8-12 weeks to completely normal & happy again which can feel like ages but in reality it isn't.

    Cheers

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  • Posted

    Hi Nicola, I am so glad you took the plunge. It may take a few days to settle, but it is worth it. I lost my younger sister two years ago and I fully understand that your life will never be the same. Grief played a massive part in my depression and anxiety, although I wasn't aware of it at the time. It built up to life being unbearable, no sleep and panic attacks. I feel your loss so deeply, and yet I am so pleased you have taken the first step towards finding your calmer and happier life. Good luck and we are all in this together. Lee.
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    • Posted

      Hello Lee

      I'm sorry it's taken so long to reply and thank you for your support with cit and my personal anxieties with it. I stopped taking cit after the first day, the side effects where horrible, couldn't sleep, eat, constant sweats, dizzy, sickness, muscle twinges etc. I'm now taking Fluoxetine 20mg and I've had no side effects at all, I'm a month in to taking it now and I could feel the difference in me after only 2 1/2 weeks. Had my first review at the doctors today and all is good, I've been told that they haven't even fully kicked in yet and I can exspect more of a difference and will feel the full benefits come mid May. I am very lucky that my body has tolerated Fluoxetine, I highly recommend it to anyone x

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