this feeling of dread is hitting me continually

Posted , 5 users are following.

Can anyone help please?  I need to find peace after horrendous experiences with men some of which I've asked for help with on here!  I just feel so sick and scared and tired and utterly fed up.  I'm 43 i'm called Sam and I wrote the article telling you 'and it all tumbled out'.  I need to ask for more counselling off a specialist service to deal with issues like this in Leicester as my doctor has seen me since my last counselling session and feels I still can't cope.  I'm terrified of walking in there and asking and just would like all this pain to stop, and the nightmares and the fear and the stress and the ill health I'm suffering from as a result.  Where do I go if I can't get more support?  How do I stop feeling so sick.  The flashbacks are still very real and vivid but I now get the impression my counsellor is not listening any more.  I reached the point where if this doesn't work (as it was the last result), then I feel I may as well jump and take my own life.  These men are dominating my life, both day and night.  How do I sort this once and for all, please help I'm just so sad.

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  • Posted

    Sam

    Your GP will arrange further treatment Pathways for you and you now need to allow Him to do that for you, you need help and that should be given. If your problem is caused by PTSD you need to be able to talk this out and move on, trust your GP. Flashbacks are a real problem and they need specialist help.

    I am not happy regards you having problems on this site and I feel those need to be addressed as a separate problem. Have you had words with the moderator on this site where you can discuss what happened in the past ???

    I will contact and report your complaint

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Hi shaz, I spoke to my gp, she feels I'm getting the best help Leicester has to offer and sees that because so many things have happened in the past that this is just going to take time and lots of support.  If I need more help I can contact  her and make an appointment and she'll see if there's anything else i need.  My counsellor is fantastic - I just get really so down some days and this reflects in what I say, write and do.  Sorry if I seem conflicting in what you read but I agree with my gp and NO the counsellor doesn't just listen her suggestions are helping me to find solace.  Sorry I bothered you - I don't get support off anyone else and thought I'd try other people I thought would understand I won't be posting anything again you've now put me off!

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    • Posted

      Hi Sam, 

      You haven't bothered me at all.  I understand how frustrating it is when you want things sorted now, and, some things just take time.  Depending on who your counselling is with, it could you a while to start to feel better, hence why I suggested maybe ringing Rape Crisis in an evening to have someone to talk to, or just to listen to you.  The other alternative, would be your local Crisis Team.  On a positive note, your GP sounds very good and supportive.  You should make full use of their services, but maybe also ask about CMHT, to see if there is any additional support you can get.  They are made up of Psychiatrists, Psychologists and CPNs (as far as I know), and operate in a very different way to "Talking Therapies".  

      Take care x

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  • Posted

    Hi Sam,

    The best advice I can give you is to ask your GP for a referral to your Community Mental Health Team (CMHT). Clearly the counsellor isn't helping you, that may be due to the type / style of counselling.  You might find the you will be better help and support through CMHT.  Another reason why I think you would find it beneficial, will be that you will actually get a diagnosis.  The inital appointment can take up to 2 hours, the first 45m-1hr with a CPN afterwhich you see a Psychiatrist for a further 45m-1hr.  The Psychiatrist should then be able to give you a diagnosis and a suggested course of action.  I am not sure whether or not a GP can give a diagnosis of PTSD, hence he/she would refer you on.

    This site can be useful, however, I think multiple postings around the same theme are not.  If you genuinely want to get help to deal with your past, you are giong to have to take some responsibility and be receptive to the help.  Your GP is the best person to ensure that you get help - please ask them from a referral to CMHT.

    You might also find it helpful to explore the services offered by Rape Crisis in your area. They should have a helpline that you can ring and talk to somoeone over the telephone about how you are feeling.  

    Best wishes x

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    • Posted

      Hi shaz, I said I'd never speak on here again and here I am doing the opposite.  I am glad you understood what I said, as I am very used to doing things for myself alone.  The counselling is just particularly tough at present so that's why I try to get support off others.  My doctor does know what is going on and did give me some good advice last week, which I have followed.  I am just saddened that I am going through any of this, it really digs into my soul to do any of this and hurts - alot.  I will continue as long as I am allowed with the counselling and am due to go see my doctor next week.  All this needs sorting one way or another, as I am due to start looking at Fostering and Adoption with my husband next week, as this is what we want, this issue got in the way.  I am glad my counsellor is so good and understanding - she's been a god send as it's been 24 years since this incident took place, hence why it's so ingrained maybe?  It's hard as you know.  That's all.

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    • Posted

      Hi Sam,

      I totally get exactly what you are saying, thinking and feeling! You are a very strong and capable women, and hopefully, in time you will see that too. I also find it comforting to know that I am not alone in my past experiences and I know that these past two years of have been a personal hell for me.  I don't have a husband for support, my I have some great friends and my GP has been there every step of the way too.  I suspect that going forward, you will still hit some low patches, but view them as temporary blips.  We wouldn't be human if didn't!  

      I wish you lots of luck with the Fostering and Adoption.

      Happy to chat anytime, just drop me a message!  (I mean that!)

      Shaz x

       

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  • Posted

    Sam, I have a friend who went and fought in Helmland and if I ever saw anyone with PTSD, it was him. He came back a completely different person and he drank more than I've ever seen him drink; he was addicted to rage. Always mad and ready to fight at bars, he was not the same kid I knew before he left. Fast forward 2 years, he's at his wits end and, from what I was told, on his last dime. A friend offered to take him in and told me about his occasional nightmares.

    Long story short, he went on MDMA-assisted therapy and after two sessions, he was back to the old guy we knew. No signs of PTSD and he can talk about it in an objective sense, as if he is distanced or came to terms with whatever he couldn't come to accept. He said the MDMA allowed him not to get caught in that terrible feeling and to approach it with a clear and stable mind. He said he internalized it, accepted it and let go. He said it was the most beautiful moment of his life..

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