This is consuming me
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi I have been trying really hard not to post until Wed's until I've had my CT Head Scan!
but it's killing me, I am consumed by Intrusive thoughts, fearing the worst news possible and I am even having conversations in my head.. when they tell me it's bad news and blah blah ... I have convinced I have something sinister, my mum is 100% I'm going to be fine, but how can she be?
I wouldn't be so worried if I didn't feel so weak, shakey, wobbly/tremor and been feeling face numbness for weeks now , and jaw xx
Today I went to my Mum's and I am that petrified, I couldn't eat all of my dinner!
I have experienced some awful panic attacks and it feels like my body is locked in permanent panic mode,
My question is can Anxiety really trigger all of these symptoms?
I am having a Head Scan because I was suffering headaches, they have got better but it's all my other symptoms that are freakin me out... I still get occasional headaches but it's more like a numbing pain now.
I know nobody can give me any answers and I just need to ride this out until Wed's ... I feel like I can pass out frequently,
I'm that scared.. My bloods have come back fine but I'm not sure if I was tested for Cancer and I didn't want to ask.
Should I be reassured if bloods have come back ok?
Would really appreciate if someone from the medical profession might be able to give me some reassurance , thank you xxx
0 likes, 11 replies
borderriever zoe4477
Posted
Your tests that have been completed are showing negative, if they thought you had cancer you would have been in Hospital having tests you have not heard of before. Be thankful all is ok
The scan is to boost your confidence, it just takes a couple of seconds and it is all over. I do think there is nothing to worry about. Just lie back and think of England.
it will be over before you close your eyes.
Good Luck
B.
zoe4477 borderriever
Posted
Thanks B, I didn't ask for the test, my Opticians requested it as I failed the Field Vision Test ..
He said he doesn't think it's anything serious, he requested pathology and CT Scan for caution, do you think they can say 'I don't think it's anything serious' if they don't mean it?
X
borderriever zoe4477
Posted
The Vision Test is taken several times to get a result. If the result was effected by tired eyes after your eye test they have you back and check again.
The CT, He is making sure you are ok, belt and braces possibly ?? I do not know what has been done, so you need to relax
Good Luck, keep a hold
zoe4477 borderriever
Posted
I do feel a bit better ;-)
borderriever zoe4477
Posted
B.
PhoenixAnansa zoe4477
Posted
Hey Zoe,
I know the feeling you're going through about being anxious but I'm going through an anxiety attack right now myself it's so bad i can't seem to sit still in my chair and keep wheeling around aimlessly after a while
zoe4477 PhoenixAnansa
Posted
Oh sweetie... I know what it's like.. Do you suffer from them frequently?.. You are going to be ok... what helps me, is I try and do a puzzle or read some of these forums from people like us.. You know you are not on your own!
Hope you feel settled very soon? X
Sillymop zoe4477
Posted
Hi Zoe!
Did you go to the opticians for any reason or were you just due a checkup?
If they are sending you for failing the field vision test (is this where you see little squiggly squares and have to click a button whenever you see one appear?) try not to worry.
My guess is that you were probably so worked up during the test that you didn't notice some. He is sending you out of precaution but nothing more. If they were worried you would have been told to go to the hospital that day.
Did all the other tests come back okay? Like your photo taken behind the eyes and pressure test?
People have issues with peripheral vision (if you do in fact have any issue at all,) for many - MILD and non-dangerous reasons.
Everything you have described feeling in your post is all anxiety related. You are petrified and your body is responding. You're petrified because you think you have something wrong with your brain and so you now notice every tiny thing.
Anxiety generates MANY frightening physical symptoms and if they are given a focus and you then believe them to be part of a genuin illness, you start believing it to be real and making these symptoms worse and worse until you are bed bound.
What you are doing is 'nursing your symptoms.'
When we experience anxiety or a panic attack - however frightening this may be, we KNOW it is a panick attack.
And it passes.
When we disbelieve that it is anxiety but instead part of something life threatening physical issue, we focus on the feelings, place a huge amount of importance on them and these physical symptoms then generate their own anxiety. This elevates fear, anxiety and panick to unimaginable levels and your body will then continue to respond. This is why people end up in hospital.
You began with headaches...you then began to worry about them and focus on them..which makes you stressed...which causes headaches...which makes you worry. Then this test happens and you are being sent for tests (as a precaution only,) and the anxiety builds and builds. You connect your headaches to the test failure - you connect that to how you are feeling now and all the symptoms you just described.
You self diagnose.
I think this is a positive for you. Once your tests come back clear you will see categorically how anxiety can effect you physically. After this amount of fear, what could anxiety ever do to frighten you this much?
Nothing... It will make it seem powerless. That is amazing.
The worst you will come out of this with is probably needing a stronger prescription for glasses or even special lenses.
It will be okay
zoe4477 Sillymop
Posted
Wow where do I start! I love how you write in such detail and knowledge about how and how our body responds and how categorically how anxiety can affect us and how anxiety generates..
you could write a book!! ;-))
The photo behind the eyes was ok.. thank you x
And yes to the squiggly squares you were describing as The Field Vision Test. ;-)
Sorry for the short reply but I have taken everything in SM,
I had to read your wonderful insight how the mind works in depth,
You are very clever ...
I might have to steal this and post on FB, if CT Head Scan turns out ok, and all this has been anxiety related.
I am currently off work due to this horrible spell and some people have been very unfeeling and ignorant about my condition.
I had an awful panic attack at work last Sunday and I made quite a spectacle of myself, I was hysterical! most people have been kind & supportive but there are always those who don't understand, who are not so kind.
Thanks again for being so supportive, compassionate and so encouraging xxxx
zoe4477
Posted
Made a few mistakes there but can't edit!!
Sillymop zoe4477
Posted
Having people that we aren't close to (especially colleagues,) witness us having a panic attack is awful. You feel vulnerable through anxiety and the fear of having a panic attack alone, but having people witness it is even more debilitating and embarrassing. I can relate to you because I often fear people seeing me at the lowest I know I can be..you're completely out of control and that is terrifying.
It sounds like you have a few things happening at the moment. Firstly you are struggling through a very bad patch of anxiety at the moment. This is being intensified through what sounds to me like intense health anxiety. Have you suffered from health anxiety before this?
The health anxiety has made you fear you're symptoms (your anxiety symptoms,) and as you begin to nurse these symptoms, they over power you and then come out in a monumental panic attack in a place where (I suspect - if you are like me!) you fear people knowing how badly your anxiety effects you.
Now you are faced with another thing: you feel embarassed and don't want to return to work and... Work now represents the place in which you had a panick attack in front of people and so you fear returning incase it happens again?
I wonder if these apply to you.
We link places with events. Both good and bad. A place can make you feel anxious when you expect to feel anxious. It is learned behaviour and the more you give in, the longer it continues.
The work issue builds up, the healthy issue builds and anxiety feeds from it all.
Once your scan comes back I really recommend that you go back to work. Jump in... People will say what they like. Some will be kind, others won't. But they will all respect you for returning. It takes courage.
This will give your mind more things to be occupied with and will also break the memory of work being 'the place my anxiety got the best of me.'
The longer you stay away the worse it will get.
Also, after Wednesday I really recommend therapy if you haven't tried this yet? It will help you work through all of this and will also help you in the future. You can beat it