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Have you ever felt the feeling of emptiness? Or you just want to end of your but don't even have the courage to do it? i've been depressed for 2 years now, completely broken by myself and because a lot of unfortunate events happened to me. i changed my major and transfered university because busines wasn't for me plus i have no friends back then. i thought new program and new school and new people would help me.. but it didn't. it only made it worse. i told someone about this, even let him read my journal but just like everyone else. that person didn't care. i am afraid to tell my parents about it, it might bring a fight between and start the blame game. i am afraid to tell my parents i want to change major again and transfer to another school because college is where you will find the right major for you, even if the first one and the second one sucks. you have to keep looking for it. the problem is i'm 21 and no job. my dad pays my college and i feel bad for it. i'm performing good in my current university but the thing is i'm not happy and i feel hopeless for my future. i'm depress, especially when i'm alone i started to thiink about these suicide thoughts for 2 years now. i randomly cry when i go home from school and quickly wipe my tears. if i get depress, self hurting helps me sometimes by digging my nails to my skin so deep and scratch it down.. i've never told anyone about this except my little brother. i'm helping him to get through with his life and not end up like me.. i just want this to end. for god sake please end it. i'm tired of living and existing.
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