This is getting stupid!!

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hello all,

As a result of my botched spinal operation I ended up with amongst other things a broken tooth. That had to be removed under general anaesthetic in hospital. Because the site didn't heal well I ended up with an Oral Antral Communication/fistula, which is literally a hole in the head, leading from my mouth up to my sinuses. For the last three months, as a result of the infection I have had really bad sinusitis and I am just today staring on my 6th course of antibiotics in less than three months. I don't suppose it will clear it, as always it will work for a few days then back to being ill again.

Since I was released from hospital after my second operation (to repair some of the damge from the first operation, in 8 months I have had 25 hospital appointments directly linked to the botched operation, plus of course GP visits on top. I have another hospital appointment on Monday and a further 5 appointents in the pipeline over the next 6 weeks. Oh, and all this is happening under the care of 4 different hospitals. Today, I am taking 24 tablets!!! I don't feel too bad sitting down, but walking just now, I was swaying, giddy and thinking I was going to collapse, which is lovely, except that I am at work, doing a very responsible job in the City.

And how the f**k am I supposed to live any sort of normal life?? They messed up what was supposed to be a simple microdiscectomy and here I am less than 9 months later with as many back/leg problems than I ever had. I am on a truckload of medicine. I have lost all sensation to go to the loo. I should go now, as I have to void by the clock, but I don't think I can even walk down the corridor and I am scared of trying. If I am going to collapse much better I do it sitting at my desk. Then I worry that if I do collapse my work colleagues will call an ambulance and I have an very extreme phobia of ambulances. Even them breaking my f**king tooth couldn't be simple. Even extracting that has set off a whole chain of events, including regular consultant visits and now next week an ENt consultant too.

What the hell did I ever do to deserve this. And how come the neurosurgeon that f**ked up can lie and cover it up and walk around without a care in the world???

My head is swimming and it's getting harder to see the keys. I think I had best go home!


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5 Replies

  • Posted


    Bless your heart i really still can not get over what those B***ARDS have done to you!!

    And NO WAY do you deserve any of it...NONE of this is your fault NONE!!

    All you are guilty of is putting your trust and faith in a system that has basically F**KED you over without as you say A CARE IN THE WORLD!!

    I know these are only words and they will not help nor change the situation as present...but i truely belive WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.

    I belive the truth WILL OUT!! An although that is still no use to you because it will not give you back what they took away from you your HEALTH but mentally it will give you some satisfaction in the sense people can not go round doing these kind of things and not be answerable for them!!

    They have to face the consequences of their actions...and in doing so and justice being done for you it may also give you some long overdue closure on certain parts of the HORRIFIC journey that you have been subjected too through no fault of your own!!

    I wish things could be different for you and i pray so much that the DIGUSTING THING that did all that to you pays for it...and does not get the chance to continue to swan around and F**k up anyone elses lives like she has yours!!

    Keep strong you are a REMARKABLE AMAZING GORGEOUS women and you will get through this...keep beliving and praying TFU.

    Take here anytime you need a friend

    Love Jaimie x x xGod Bless x x x

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  • Posted

    Hi Tfu,

    It's been a while since I've been on this site. I can't believe what's been happening to you over the last couple of months. :shock: Will they ever get you back to normal? I bet you're so p...ed off. I totally feel for you, I'm still having pain and I'm not back to work, I've been off now a year and 10 months, I really don't know how you could go back to work with all that's gone on. I know my finances are worrying me but I'm just not well enough to go back yet. I can't go back to the Nursing Home that I worked at, I've started a AMSPAR Course in Medical Terminology, so I can get a job in a GP's or the Hospital. I've had another 2 Sacral Injections in July this did ease the pain a little but the pains come back with avengence over the last few weeks, so I'm waiting for another appointment to go and have it done again oh boy does it hurt (I'm getting knocked out this time).

    Try to keep you chin up and stay positive smile


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  • Posted

    Hello TFU smile

    I cannot believe you are still suffering to this extent, I really feel for you. It's about time these Doctors stopped closing ranks and were held to account for their actions. It's gone on for such a long time and you deserve to have some closure....not that any compensation could rectify what has happened to you but at least it would be one less battle to fight. I remember you were pursing things down the legal route and we can't discuss things on here but is there an end date in sight? It seems so unfair that you should have to keep fighting like this?

    I know it's easy for me to say because I'm not in your situation but try to take it easy as best you can, use this forum to vent and offload cos we listen even if the NHS system isn't.

    Take care of you hon,

    Gentle hugs,

    Jules xx :D :D

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  • Posted

    Hi Jules and Angela,

    good to hear from you girls. I don't post much either here these days, but then I don't do much of anything these days.

    I found out last week, during an internal at a hospital examination that I have no sensation at all internally on the left hand side. That is absolutely nothing!!! It has sent me into a bit of a tailspin because I thought that I knew everything that there was to know about the botched surgery. So the back ache, problems with my left leg/foot and losing all sensation to go to the loo, were all bad enough but now this. Anyway having found out on Thursday, I spent most of Friday in tears and now I have been signed off work with stress. The GP did say that he thought I was very brave going to work with everything that was going on. Fact is that apart from needing the money, I needed some sort of normality in my life because trust me, everything else is far from normal. He wants me to go on antidepressants too. Fanastic. Like I really need more tablets.

    Since being released for the third time on 7 January I have had 28 hospital appointments. I have another 7 in the next six weeks some of the highlights of which are.....tomorrow having a minor op to sort out the oral antral fistula (hole in the head), a 2 hour MRI scan, a meeting with the Pain Management Consultant, a CT scan, a meeting with the neurosurgeon and a meeting with the the ENT consultant. With more no doubt to follow.

    The good news is that the Urogynaecologist has admitted verbally, if not in writing that losing sensation of needing to go to the loo was nerve damage from the first operation. I knew it, the hospital knew it, the hospital denied it, but at least now somebody has said what we all knew was true.

    The case against the NHS will rumble on very slowly. Right now I am just devastated by what I found out on Thursday because basically it means no future sexual relationships and although I have no plans for that anyway, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I think that I needed some sort of control over the situation, otherwise I would just crumble and it was important to me that I knew all there was to know. So this came as a real shock. And now I wonder what else don't I know? And was the neurosurgeon who cocked up just waiting for me to find out about this?? Was she expecting it????

    I'm pleased that you are retraining Angela and I hope that once that is done you can quickly find a new job. It sounds like this will suit you much better. And how about you JUles, where are you in your healing journey now????

    Best wishes


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  • Posted

    Hi Tfu,

    It's good to hear from you, :D your circumstances still haven't changed if anything it seems worse than before for you. I don't know how much we are expected to cope with before we flip.

    I've been to college today and I'm really enjoying it and it keeps my mind off my back. I'm still on all my tablets, I dread to think what it'll be like when I have to come off them.

    Keep you chin up hon and try to keep your chin up!


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