THIS IS SO DRAINING AND TIRING/ANY IDEAS??

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Hi there 

 its Been years now .. 26

ive been on so many medications over there years they make me feel so bad. 

Right now I am on. Mirtazipine 30mg venaflaxine 75mg pregabalin 50mg diazepam 20 mgs. Gabapentin, naproxen, atorvastatin lanzoprazole.....

 I'm 40 I feel I have been left ive tried to fight for help I've needed. So very hard. Only now they are giving my CPN back.

my story is long and horrible. I'll keep it brief. At 14 I had a trumor,  then was told I'll never have kids and I watched my dear dear Aunt die  in front of me... like I saw my gran being taken from her house dead at 5. 

I found out the Dad I thought I had known was a gentle giant my one love.. That was stripped from me when I found out he was a monster.

I was in a domestic violence marriage for 16 yrs and I was a heroin  addict for 15 years.

 Well  I've left my husband now, I'm clean 17 months now......

but im tired I'm drained I have nothing in me anymore it's hard to get up. Well I've stop going out if I can avoid it.

i can normally see it coming maybe get ahead of it. I can't it's not possible. It's always there. The weight the betrayal the hurt. I've ran out.

been begging for help for months untill the point I called to say I was in a bad way.

i really feel for anyone who has this cruel desease  IT TAKES TAKES......it's like a choker around my neck, a vice crushing my head. No respite now a all no talking myself round. You'll be ok vic but I have nothing left I have to rebuild again and don't think I can

I have all these meds and I don't know one from the other sometimes. Can't function. 

how long, when will it go tired drained feel hopeless and helpless to help myself.

any ideas PLEASE

please don't think I haven't fought I have so many times sorry to vent 

thank you if you've took time to read xx 

vicky

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Vicky

    First of all you have had an absolutely horrendous past and it is hardly surprising that you feel the way you do. 

    You are bound to feel like the world is crashing down around you but at least you are now finally getting some help.  I have seen the medication you are on and they will in time help.  You have a CPN to watch over you too.  Don't feel like you have no one to talk to.  Make sure you access your Psychiatrist, Support Workers and even friends and family. 

    One thing I will say to you is this.  Always remember you are a fighter, you are stronger than you know and you are in control of your life from here one. Another thing to remember is you can either take the past into your future and let it control your life or you can accept that it all happened, file it under B for bin and then leave that past behind and move on to fresh new hopes and dreams.

    Try to also join some groups.  This will help you to make new friends and focus on something other than the pain and suffering.  See what local groups you have and then go along and join in.  I have known it help some people as it has taken their mind off problems and they have benefited from this.

    Good luck and keep us posted as to how you are doing and coping. 

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    • Posted

      Thank you for taking the time and answering me!!

      i like the file I under B for bin!!

      trying to find strength 

      thanks so much xx

      vicky

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  • Posted

    Hi Vicky, I'm sorry to hear all you have been through. That is a lot to deal with. Why though are you on so many different medications?!!  I know what the first five are that you mentioned but I don't know the others. Each and every one has side effects. Does your doctor really believe that you need all of them? No wonder you feel so ill. Do you think a talk with him/her about trying to come off some would help? Your body must be so full of chemicals it will be fighting just to process them all. I have found doctors are far too quick to prescribe pills. I bet they wouldn't take that many themselves! It's your body Vicky. If they are making you ill and not helping it's time to make your doctor understand this and get them to work with you to perhaps start to wean yourself off of some of them. In the meantime, look up what you can do to boost your immune system so that you can begin to combat the toxicity which I think must have built up in your body. Don't give up. I think perhaps a new approach might be what is needed.

    I should probably add here that this is what I am doing myself. I haven't been on nearly as many medications as you but I've found that they do not help and they only make me feel worse. I am weaning off duloxetine at the moment and having a bit of a detox/immune and nervous system boost. In my research I have found that one of the best ways to get the body back in balance (to help pain/anxiety/depression/illness) is to have a healthy stomach/gut. It's amazing just how important that is to the health of the entire body (and mind). Apparently it helps with sleep too. I'm just starting on this process so I don't know yet if it will have the effect I am hoping for, but I already feel better than I did and few weeks ago. I'm not trying to push my idea on to you, it's just a suggestion if you want to look into this yourself. Then you could decide if you think it's for you or not. Btw I have fibromyalgia, anxiety and depression.

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    • Posted

      hi

      the dr gives more and more and more to mumb the pain.

       They don't know what to do. Yes I'm on loads and it's bad. The o hers are to stop me being sick, cholesterol and pain management.

      i am ment to see the mental health team.. CPN it takes time.

       Iwill read your post again for your advice.

      thank you.

      i know this is not right how can I fight the professionals.

      very  kind of you to reply

      thank you Mari xxx

      Let me know how you get on with your changes

      thank you for kind words and help.

      pretty low but when it se that people answered I know that there are others out there.

      thank you again xx

      vicky

       

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