Thoughts of dying help me sleep at night

hi amber, your post is concernable. a plan? no. why would it be better to end your life?: for who? and no i wouldn't mock you as i don't understand your life. i sort of know how you feel. yes i am jealous of your kids, i wanted them then was raped twice. i am now 47 and it seems high unlikely i'll have any kids. you talk all you want. to make a plan you must be in a REALLY dark place. have you spoken to any doctor, friend, health professional of any description? i almost jumped last year as assault counselling nearly knocked me for 6. baby steps. to get back to some semblance of happiness that's what you need to do. take all the time you need. at 47 i am only now realising assault wasn't my fault. not having children was all my fault, but was it? i have health conditions too! try to look at what you do have and write down what you do want. i don't know how old you are but you have something to give. maybe your life is just stale? you keep talking, that's it.

I am sorry you’re feeling this way. What I get from your message is that you feel insignificant. I can definitely relate to that . my world revolved around my kids when they were growing up, I did not work either. I had very little time for myself also. My marriage ended in divorce . I was basically out in the world on my own, scared, and felt completely lost. At that time my kids were away at school.

My entire purpose in life was shattered because I had nothing else. I got very little financially from the divorce and had to live with relatives for a while. I was depressed, had panic attacks and generalized anxiety every single day. it was completely awful. I lived with my daughter for a while.

started getting some counseling on a regular basis. I also started thinking that I needed to stop the pity party and get tough with myself. I deserved better. I was a wonderful mother and chose to stay home and raise my kids. They all turned out great. I had to give myself some credit. Am I going to allow my circumstances to defeat me? should I just allow myself to go downhill?

One thing that was certain was that I needed to have a PURPOSE in life.right now your son needs his mother whether you think he does or not. but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have some interests of your own. You can make time for yourself and go take some class, do yoga, even if it’s online. Go for a walk, anything that interests you! that way you can make some friends! You wouldn’t believe what a breath of fresh air it is to do something!

I need to start taking care of myself better. No one can do this for me. I started taking time out for ME! started getting some exercise, I started a ladies coffee group in my area which is great for socializing and mental health! Started eating healthier, and also started helping other people every now and then because it gives you such a great feeling to do that! I am a work in progress but in A better place.

YOU need to put yourself first and take care of yourself. You deserve better. this time is just a snippet of time in your life. Think about one day looking back on this time and be grateful that you chose to push forward. I know I did.

Please consider getting some counseling. I was hesitant at first but so glad that I did! it feels so good to vent to somebody else even if it’s virtual counseling which is what I do. Don’t hold anything back just let it out. That’s a good place to start. here is a phone number if you need to talk to somebody 24 seven. 800-273-8255. it’s free and confidential support for people in distress. They can also provide resources for you.take the first step Amber! Any of the things mentioned above. And take one day at a time. Just do one thing to start. Even that will make you feel better . Fight for YOU! ❤

I am really sorry for what you have to deal. if self helps tips aren't working, have you tried some professional help?