Tidal Wave of Anger!

Posted , 11 users are following.

Is anyone dealing with unpredictable anger in late stage perimenopause? Out of nowhere, I can be overcome with rage over absolutely nothing! It is ridiculous. The strange thing is that, prior to perimenopause, I almost never got angry, so this is very uncharacteristic for me.

It is so difficult dealing with the extreme irritation and the impulse to just lash out over nothing. Even the birds chirping outside my office window can make me want to find a gun and shoot them all, when the anger flares up!

This is one crazy ride!

It would be great to have other women share their stories of anger. It would make me feel less alone.

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Bev,

    I'm totally on the same page. Poor birds 😦 lol though 😃 I get it. I commented before about feeling angry during hot flashes OR better yet, getting a hot flash because something irritated me....AND YES, sometimes something minor. I had to laugh though the other day when I had an angry episode that caused a hot flash because on some stupid retro game show a contestant didn't win 😃 I told my husband I think I'm losing it. That's when I thought "something is definitely not right in my head" - I'm thinking it's a lack of serotonin from the lack of estrogen.

    This part of perimenopause is new to me with the daily (and nightly) hot flashes and anger. I believe I'm in the late stage, maybe even very near or have started into the menopause process (meaning I only have another 10 months to go, hopefully) I'm on day 54 of no period/no spotting/no inkling of feeling like I'm going to have a period. I've gone as long as 95 days without a period. I'll be 53 in a few months.

    I just try to remember if I can that the anger and irritation that I'm feeling is not totally who I am and that it will get better over time....when that will be I don't know.....but I've always been prone to anger and irritation. I've never been a mellow, happy go lucky kinda gal. I have mellowed over the years but I'm feeling as angry and irritable and somewhat depressed and anxious as I did in my 20s.

    I feel your pain Bev. I'm sitting here sweating just about to go watch tv and hopefully nothing's going to p**s my off on any of the shows I'll be watching before bed. Hell, I get p****d in the middle of the night when I wake up from a hot flash and think about some stuff out of the past and I feel like getting up at 3 am screaming bloody murder out in front of my house just to get it off my chest. That'd get me a quick trip downtown for an "evaluation" 😉 but that is how I feel....just got to find ways to express any anger appropriately or find a healthy outlet.

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    • Posted

      I don't know why, but I think my rage is linked to excess estrogen and not less. It's all so confusing. My rage started 7-8 years ago, which coincidentally is also when I started getting menstrual migraines.

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Jane, for such a comprehensive reply! Much appreciated:)

      From what I understand, it is actually sky high estrogen in perimenopause, rather than low estrogen that causes all of these problems. I found that out from a female hormone specialist at a local university. Then the spikes and drops in hormones, just complicate matters further.

      I turn 51 in a few days, and I am now Day 84 and no period, so I know that the end is near. Unlike you, though, I often get cramping and pain, as though my period is imminent, but nothing has materialized so far.

      My "journey" through this phase of my life has been so unbelievably painful (emotionally and physically), that I have written a book about it. I am hoping that it can help women who will one day be trying to cope with the menopausal transition.

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    • Posted

      Hi ladies

      I am a little late into this thread. I been searching for someone in my position of raging anger that only flares up now and again. My anger only seems to be aimed at my best friends for dome reason.

      I have been prescribed the wrong HRT and been on it for 8 months. In a nut shell i was on the combination patch i went back for a higher dose and the DR gave me estrogen only. ive had 8 months of flooding spotting moody swings. Finally got to the bottom of it when i went for my smear test. The nurse said i was on the wrong HRT.

      ive been off it a week and im all over the place. Culminating with me being nasty to my friends im frightened to go out now. This isnt me i never suffered from psm so im in total shock this is happening to me

      help!!

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    • Posted

      Hi hope you don't mind me asking did you get your anger issued sorted. im going through the same myself. I was given the wrong HRT too much estrogen. My out burst have caused me to fall out with my best friends ive never done this before. im getting frightened to go out. x

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  • Posted

    Oh, yes! I am so embarrassed. It had been slowly happening for YEARS and I was in perimenopause denial. I honestly didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I was annoyed all the time and at everything. I'm not sure why, but once I connected the rage to perimenopause, it began to lessen. Deep breaths in, deep breaths out. You are not alone. xo

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  • Posted

    Yes sadly.... I have rage most of the time, no middle ground ...what is worse is I have two small children. I feel like the worst mother in the world.

    Is this late stage peri? Does that mean it will end soon? God I hope so! Frankly over it now.

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  • Posted

    YES!!! Right before my period is the worst and this last time was awful.. kids were gone hubby was quietly watching TV and I picked a fight with him.. bursted into tears, yelling, etc... I was a mess and earlier that day I was out with a friend having a nice time... Other times I'm in rage mode over spouse going to the gym or just being happy-- I'm miserable and take it out on him.. He's not innocent but still no need to do that. Also at work my boss gives me a 'hard time' which I always (carefully) stick up for myself in a sarcastic way.. I used to be so sweet and nice-- I don't know what happened...

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  • Posted

    Waiting in line at my fitness club to get checked in and I lost it. These girls were talking and taking their time getting checked in and then started talking to the lady checking them in and I lost it. I had to apologize when I saw those ladies in my yoga class. I was amazed at my bad manners and explained I was going through menopause, hot flashes, night sweats and irritability. They laughed, thank god they understood. I was freaked out about my behavior. I've never done that before.

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  • Posted

    Haha I know exactly what you mean! I feel grumpy/angry nearly all the time and I have learnt to hold it in now most of the time but just having a car pull out and driving slowly has me swearing! I also get really angry with myself if I make a mistake I cant look at myself in a mirror without feeling angry as I now hate what see. Getting older and menopause have changed me so much I was a really happy positive person before 😦

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  • Posted

    Hi Bev,

    Yes, can relate.

    Just this morning, we dropped off my husband's car at the shop and picked up a rental car.

    I was waiting to make sure his rental was all good before pulling out to go to work, and he was taking FOREVER to go over the car.

    He tested the wipers.

    He tested the turn signals.

    He tested the lights.

    These are all things he was doing to make sure we wouldn't be charged for broken bits when we turn the car in, but for some reason, it made me curse.

    I have been in this mode for a while now, and I do not like this new me. The laid back, calm, confident, reassuring me was honestly my best friend (besides my husband and daughter), and I don't know where she went. I want her to come back, but I don't know how to make it happen. That makes me angry, too.

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  • Posted

    Hasnt helped that I typed a reply that just vanished into the ether 

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