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Time goes so fast, I'm so scared

Posted , 4 users are following.

SkyBlue321
SkyBlue321

When I was a kid, it felt slow, now as an adult it feels so fast, I feel lost in a world I often feel i don't really be part of, been socially awkward and confused all my life.

My friend from childhood died last February, and despite moving on, I think about him now and then, we weren't close, but I miss him so much now.

I think of him more now, even though it's probably silly of me, I often think of things we said in the past, I day dream about him, and wished he knew how greatful I was for our friendship, even though nothing will bring him back..

Turning 30 and him dead, looking at his profile through the years, looking back at my life reminds me of how fast time has gone. I have so much regrets, missed opportunities because of my social awkwardness, weird pointless obsessions and what someone in the past described me as possibly having some form of autism.

Spent Christmas with everyone at the hospital with my grandma who is 95 , she's been ill and going responsive and unresponsive, it's so scary to even look at her, just feels painful, she looks much older now she's gone thin. But she was awake today. I tried to be there but inside just want to escape and cry.

I feel another death on the way.....

I don't mean to be mean, but it just feels so uncomfortable, after her generation have gone, it will be my parent's generation....

I know, one day, I'll end up like them, or like my great aunt with dementia, and I'm scared.

i fear getting old, I miss my other grandparents on my father's side, the neighbour even though we weren't close, and the thought of them all gone forever feels so sad.

I'm always like this around this times of the year, always an inner excuse to feel down....

I feel so stuck in life, hate my job, want to go out and escape but also want to hide away and no longer exist.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 SkyBlue321

    Posted

    I am sorry you’re going through this and I know how scary it can feel because I’ve had the same thoughts. However, living in the future is pointless and that’s because nobody knows what the future brings. I learned that I have to stop doing that because it made my life miserable.

    you are still very young and have plenty of time to become unstuck and find a job that you enjoy more. Sometimes getting a little counseling can help get you on the right track and help you adjust the way you think so that you have more peace.

    life is about mental attitude and having gratitude. If you think negative thoughts, those will build in your brain and your thoughts will automatically go negative which is very miserable! Believe me.

    you need to turn your thinking around to more positive.

    there is a circle of life and we just have to accept it. No one will stay on this earth forever, and I know I wouldn’t want to anyway. Once you accept that, you are much more grateful for every single day.

    listen to some great meditations on YouTube for positive self affirmations, meditations for fear and anxiety, motivational meditations!

    the past is gone, the future does not exist yet. All we have now is the present and that is where we should be living! I now wake up in the morning with an attitude of being grateful for everything that I have, I make each day as special as I can and take in all the beauty of everything including nature, my family, etc.

    dont waste your life with worry and fear. You can’t get one single day back when you do that. Worry and fear is not based on fact and it is definitely useless. Make the most of your many more years of life on this earth! Stay busy! Do things for others, make plans for something fun to do and something to look forward to. Smile, laugh, ❤

  • kelly55079
    kelly55079 SkyBlue321

    Posted

    Your post hits home...I get into bouts where I think about my parents gone and the thoughts are awful... They are in their 80's so I know it's real. A few of my friends have past due to medical conditions and it's just sad.. My good neighbor has moved to another state and another is moving next summer. Things are not the same which I don't like. I do try to focus more on myself making sure that I'm doing what I can to stay healthy--healthy foods, exercise, etc... You are not stuck, you can change things to help you feel better about you. If you don't like you job can you figure out what would make it better OR even find another job?

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