Time to try again

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Evening All,

I have logged back on to this forum after a short period of abstinence in early - mid january. Unfortunately am back drinking most days again. I guess i just want to talk to people about it who get where i'm coming from. I don't really have anyone close and the only people I talk to on a regular basis are collegues, to whom I can't divulge about my problem. In fact they become part of it as they drink if they socialise after work, and i'm not quite strong enough to say no to free booze.My biggest worry is about how long I can keep up the pretence before people start to suspect what i'm like. My girlfriend has had enough. She won't put up with the broken promises any longer.

The craziest thing about my problem, and i'm sure everyone relates, is that it changes me. Without alcohol I had loads of get up and go, rejoined the gym, kept the house spotless, kept on top of things at work and was generally feeling great. I want to be like that all the time but the nagging voice gets louder and louder and eventually I drink just to alleviate whatever the feeling is..boredom and loneliness mostly. Then i just stop caring about the other stuff as much.

So anyway thats enough moaning and feeling sorry for myself.If i have bored you i apologise. As for absteinence I will try again starting from tomorrow and hopefully this time will be the time. 

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    If you are able to stop without detox, then the next step is anti-craving drugs. Your body and mine will still want alcohol foor months and months afterwards. Not a mad craving, where you get up in the morning to have a drink, but something to help your mind take its focus off alcohol at quiet or low moments.

    It is true, if you don't srink or drink very little, getting up early is no problem, or doing all those jobs you promised yourself that you would get done.

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  • Posted

    Tre 123 . 

    Keep trying ! I can completely understand where you are . Words cannot describe it to someone that hasnt experienced those feelings and cravings and simply moments of ...oh I will do it tomorrow 

    I'm in the same place as you and feel we should take advice from the above RHGB ( thank you ) 

    Life can hit us all the time with hard times but we must find a different way of coping ! 

    I agree with you . waking up with energy , feeling on top of the world, problems and worries halved smile Thats without sad 

    We can do it smile 

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  • Posted

    Hello Tre. Keep a clear vision in your mind when you next grab a bottle: your girlfriend's face or the bottle and you have to choose what is most important to you. Never mind about your colleagues since they will understand or should understand and if they do not they are not your real friends. Good luck! Robin
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  • Posted

    tre, how many times have you relapsed and how much have you been drinking per day as of late? You might be fighting some programming that was caused by the alcohol that ends up in cravings. After you've been abstinent for awhile, that sort of programming often ends up in relapse with higher levels of drinking than before. If that's the case, then it may well be time to talk to a doctor about anti-craving drugs as RHGB says. 
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  • Posted

    tre...it is nice to see you here. How are you doing now?

    I feel that we have underlying problems that push us to the drink.  I feel we have habits that when we feel the smallest twinge of unhappiness....we know a drink will take us away from it.

    Try to focus on your underlying issues...depression, anxiety, sleep patterns, eating patterns (examples)...and if there are any...work on those and the voice of alcohol may become softer.

    I absolutely identify with having the get up and go WITHOUT the drink and identify with being confused as to WHY do I wreck it all the time by destroying my body, life and relationships with alcohol?

    I have found men to be very against counseling....but in your case I think it would be a really good idea to get to the bottom of your issues...to make your psychological well being in a better place which may reduce your cravings for alcohol.

    If your lonely with your girlfriend - figure out why.  Maybe she isn't the right girlfriend and you are trying to escape.  Maybe subconsciously you are pushing her away.  I do not know your triggers and maybe you don't either.

    You aren't moaning and feeling sorry for yourself...your trying to figure out why you keep robbing yourself of joy.  It is because in my opinion...you have found that alcohol takes away pain, lonliness and gives you the carefree attitude that is much more comfortable than dealing with your problems.  AND...you are genetically predispositioned to drinking.  AND...you haven't found a good replacement for taking away anxiety.

    The gym sounds like a good replacement.  Next time you want a drink...try to get by that...and race off to the gym.  Also, maybe try one of these drugs that Paul talks about all the time...and maybe you can still drink...but your cravings may also lessen.

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    • Posted

      Hi Misssy...really good advice there. Will take this advice on myself, especially the gym one x
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  • Posted

    Tre -

    Saw your post over in Bronize's thread, thought I'd check in and see how you're doing. Are you getting the help you need?

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