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I have logged back on to this forum after a short period of abstinence in early - mid january. Unfortunately am back drinking most days again. I guess i just want to talk to people about it who get where i'm coming from. I don't really have anyone close and the only people I talk to on a regular basis are collegues, to whom I can't divulge about my problem. In fact they become part of it as they drink if they socialise after work, and i'm not quite strong enough to say no to free booze.My biggest worry is about how long I can keep up the pretence before people start to suspect what i'm like. My girlfriend has had enough. She won't put up with the broken promises any longer.
The craziest thing about my problem, and i'm sure everyone relates, is that it changes me. Without alcohol I had loads of get up and go, rejoined the gym, kept the house spotless, kept on top of things at work and was generally feeling great. I want to be like that all the time but the nagging voice gets louder and louder and eventually I drink just to alleviate whatever the feeling is..boredom and loneliness mostly. Then i just stop caring about the other stuff as much.
So anyway thats enough moaning and feeling sorry for myself.If i have bored you i apologise. As for absteinence I will try again starting from tomorrow and hopefully this time will be the time.
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