Tinnitus for 3 months - how am I ever gonna be happy in life again??!!

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I developed tinnitus 3 months ago and mild hyperacusis 2 months ago.

?Dont know the 100% cause of it but I have been listening to loud music through headphones for several years. It was an addiction and a way for me to escape from noise around me (from neighbours) so most likely it is noise induced, but some say it could also be from stress. I have a history of depression and anxiety and I am unemployed which has put stress on me.

?I still struggle really hard and I am thinking about taking my life every single day. I dont see how I can ever be happy again, even if I did habituate I still have to avoid loud places which means I can never go to a club, a party, a concert, a festival ever again??? And what about having children?? babies/children scream/ are loud, so I can never have children??

I cant live like that, I WILL NOT live like that.....for me life is about having fun and that involves partying, going to concerts, enjoying yourself and having children. I am 30 years old for christ sake.....I cant live the rest of my life like an old retired woman. 

?That is not living to me, it is merely existing or surviving which is unacceptable to me. Id rather be dead then. I feel like I have to look out for loud noises always, and it is like walking through a minefield, very scary and stressfull sad 

?And then people say the depression is the problem. I would like to dare anyone to look me in the eyes and tell me they wont be depressed if they had to live their life like that. If they said they would not be they would be complete and utter liars!! OFF COURSE I AM DEPRESSED....


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  • Posted

    Hi Sandradan

    I am very sorry that you have developed this very annoying disease, I call tinnitus a disease although I expect officially it would not be classed as such. I have been putting up with this for about the same amount of time as yourself and I do find it very frustrating and to a certain extent dibilitating as it does stop me from doing certain things that I would like to do but I have to say that I think I am slowly getting to the stage that I am able to slightly control the tinnitus instead of it controlling me. I am certainly better at handling it now than at first. The anxiety I suffer is due to the tinittus not the other way round so if I can get to the stage where I am more confident with it then hopefully things may improve. I find (as many sufferers do) thjat night time is the worse so I listen to calming music which I find helpful, I play it very very quietly so that I have to actually make an effort to hear it and this does seem to take away some of the tinnitus because I am consentrating to listen. There are many CD's available for calming/mindfulness. I do still manage the odd concert and other noisy events and find that as long as I am careful this does not make the tinnitus any worse. As for children I have young grandchildren ( I am mid sixty)  and the noise they make certainly causes no problems in fact I would say it helps because again of the consentration needed. Please do not think of taking your life as it is so precious and with a little effort you will be able to start enjoying life again.

    I wish you all the best for the future


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    • Posted

      I listen to calming music but it doesnt help me that much, and I have tried many different sound and youtube videos sad also tried mindfullness, but I cant stop focusing on the tinnitus.

      I wont take my life right now but I really struggle to see the benefit of living vs. being dead, and I say that from a somewhat sane and rationel mind (I am medicated for my depression and anxiety)

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  • Posted


    Not sure if what I'm going to tell you will  help you but I felt just like you a few months after my onset and some days I still do, but it's gotten a lot, alot better.

    I use white noise to mask the noise, I use an app called White Noise where you can download many sounds. The sound I'm currently using is called "Crackling Fire" - it works. I sleep with it. I also have these LG HBS-A100 Tone Active+ Wireless Stereo Headset that wrap around your next and have external speakers. I usually have the app to play sound only through the left side of the headset since my left ear is my bad ear, but you should really do it for both ears which I'm going to start.

    Sleep is great help. When I sleep well, my Tinnitus is barely noticeable, if I sleep bad, it's more noticeable.

    I have these musician earplugs I bought on Amazon that I use for noisy environments and movies. Having them on protects your ears but also makes the ringing more noticeable, so I need to take them off every few minutes and then back in they go.

    I take Clonazepam to help with anxiety. This helps me alot.

    Have you had you hearing tested?

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    • Posted

      I take mirtazapin to help me sleep and it works great....I fall asleep within 15 min and sleep well for 7-8 hours, sometimes i wake up once and fall asleep again.

      Unfortunetly my tinnitus is still bad and intrusive even though I have had a good nights sleep sad white noise only irritates me. My Tinnitus of high frequency/picth like 15,000-16,000 hz, so it can be heard above most other sounds, expect the shower and noisy traffic.

      I have also taken clonazepam, and it has helped me, but I am gradually reducing my dosis as it is highly addictive in the long run.

      I have had my hearing tested at the local ENT and he found nothing. Said my hearing was perfect. But im not so sure.....I think i have a "hidden hearing loss" which is a loss of hearing the highest frequencies, and most ENT's dont test on these frequencies.


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    • Posted

      Were you taking Mirtazapin before you got your tinnitus? Do you feel drowsy during the day? Any weight gain?

      How do you know your frequency/pitch is 15,000-16,000?

      Did your ENT test you at the higher frequencies?

      Did you ENT say he thought hidding hearing loss was the cauese?

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    • Posted

      I tested it at and found my frequenzy/pitch.

      No I did not take mirtazapin before and I feel a little bit drowsy during the day, but not much.....and I have lost a bit of weight because my appetite is poor rolleyes

      No my ENT did not test at higher frequencies and he did not mention hidden hearing loss, he wasnt very nice and send me out the door very fast sad

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  • Posted

    Good Morning Sandradane - like you, I have suffered miserably with Tinnitus, Menieres and hyperacusis.

    Sometimes the tinnitus peaks really can grab a hold of me and go so far as affect my breathing. I'm imagining that this is due to anxiety. I have tried many, many remedies and have found tinnitus or T, as I'll call it, has a mind of it's own. It comes on all of a sudden with loud crashes of peaks and valleys. Like you, I have much diffuculty sleeping and have found xanax helps to a degree. Xanax won't lessen the noise, it basically assists me in not paying attention to it, or trying to ignore it.  Because there are so many factors that can cause T, from diet, to emotional status, it's so difficult to find one cure fix all solution.

    I honestly believe my T was caused by many factors. Loss of a son, loud music playing in a band, no ear protectin when using power equipment, absessed ears as a child and dealing with anxiety/depression issues on a current level as I got older. 

    I was wondering if you have considered Cognitive Behavior Therapy? There was a great article in the most recent Tinnitus Magazine. I am going to investigate this and talk to a therapist that can assist me. I do believe in some cases, anxiety/depression does cause T and in most cased ecasberates T. I can make that analysis based on how the noise level is when I'm away from the hustle and bustle of my life and on vacation somewhere, my T is very low level. 

    All I can suggest is to stay busy and always rememer there is someone always worse off than you are. Yes, I battle depression because of the T and sometimes the depression is difficult to deal with, knowing that I have been dealing with this T for many years. I don't ever remember not having T.  There is so much to live for and be blessed with. Learn as much as you can about T.. there is a lot we don't know but for now do the things that take T off center stage. At your age, you have a better chance of a cure being found then at my age. 

    I am going to investigate the Cognitive Behavior Therapy and hope it assists me getting control of this nightmare.

    I wish you the best and please stay strong.


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