Tired

(((((((((Jacee)))))))))

Sorry can't answer your questions but hope a relaxing day helps to make you better.

Your health comes before your job and don't you find that some 'training days' you've heard all before??

Sending hugs,

Ann xx

Oh Jacee,

Not only was I like that at work but I woke up feeling exactly the same today! I was woken at about eight by some kind of stomach-churning anxiety and has been followed by such overwhelming tiredness that I can't even face thinking about what I've got to do today...

But back to you with work... The effort of getting ready in the morning was overwhelming in the end, in my final months of work. I'd get into the car and my breathing would be so bad that I couldn't even twist round to grab the seat belt. Slowly, it would return to normal during the four mile drive to work - but then I'd got to get out of the car, climb steps to the main door, walk a loooooooong corridor to get to my room... in the final year, I couldn't manage it with my handbag, let alone all the paperwork I had to carry. I used to 'claw' at my throat, feeling like my collar was choking me - only to find I hadn't got a collar!! but was wearing a loose-fitting top. By the time I got to my room, there was a band around my throat, another around my chest and I used to feel like my cheekbones were popping out of my skull - and all the while trying to keep the gasping quiet so that people wouldn't hear!

I'd get into my room, bend over a table and try to 'collect myself' - all the time aware that there were huge windows and somone might see... omigod, I'd forgotten that feeling of trying to hide it!! So I'd pretend to be reading something on the table...

Inset days, don't you just love them? Having to pretend that you think the trite stupid jokes are funny and the same-old-same-old activities are thrilling... while you feel like your energy is falling out of a plugless sink! I used to become more and more desperate as I listened to the speakers, knowing that when they finally shut up I'd still got a day's paperwork to do and the longer they went on, the worse it was going to be for me.

I was some kind of bad-tempered watsit by the end...

I can imagine you at work, Jacee - you give so much to people here that you must be even more giving in the 'real' world so it's not surprising there's nothing left at the moment. Phone in with an excuse, any excuse! then lie down and just chill until you feel like doing something nice for yourself...

Love and thoughts,

Stitch

Thanks folks, all sympathy gratefully received. Oh Stitch:

\"I was woken at about eight by some kind of stomach-churning anxiety and has been followed by such overwhelming tiredness that I can't even face thinking about what I've got to do today... \"

This is so exactly what I feel. The \"stomach churning anxiety\" is there almost all of the time and I think it is linked to so much to do and so little energy to do it with. Mine is a stressful job but I have never felt stressed by it before. On the contrary, I have thrived on the stress - getting a buzz from beating it. I think it is just the sheer volume of what I have to do. Still, I will take advice and lie down for a while - see if that makes me feel any better.

Jacee

xx

Allow yourself the indulgence Jan, be as indulgent as you like - you are way overdue a good deal of guilt free self indulgence - you do way more than any of us and put the rest of us to shame! :oops: (shame faced vanessa).

When I say that I don't know how you can get up and be ready to face the working world each day, I seriously do mean that. It is one heck of an achievement. It's not the getting up of itself - I am usually up by about 6 or 7am - but the having to shower/ dress/ hair etc all in quick succession. I just can't do that anymore. If I shower AND hairwash in one go, I need to sit there in my towel for ten minutes to get the energy to dry and dress. then, go downstairs and rest before I do my hair. As for make up, well, I've been promising myself some of that for over a year now - the effort is just too much. To be honest with you all, if I know I have a 'difficult' day ahead - eg. an appointment to keep - i now usually shower the night before so I will have enough energy to be dressed and presentable in time. I also have to ensure that all clothes etc are laid out ready in advance. Then aside from all that, there's the problem of whether you have had a good or bad night, or any sleep at all for that matter.

So, rest up for today Jan, don't even spend time on the computer. Just ponder a little, think of where you are and how you want to go forward;

Is it time for some 'adjustments' to make life easier? What would they be? What would you really like them to be? Stop work but find a less physically demanding or stressful interest? Continue work but find solutions to make mornings easier? ARE there more solutions? How can life be made easier regardless of work / not work? What would make your life more ENJOYABLE / less stressful but do-able taking into consideration your energy levels etc. Just have a real good ponder, what would your (realistic) perfect day be? Is there a way of getting that - or partially / sometimes getting that? What is stopping you? And shouldn't you tell Van to **** off and mind her own business??? :wink:

Sending you a hug with this, and a sprinkle of magic to help the ponder process ; :hug: :magic: Love Vanessa X

PS. Stitch's description has brought the memories flooding back for me too - particularly the 'trying to hide it'. I've done the pretending to be reading something, also (and still do) pretending to be intently studying something in a shop window while getting my breath back enough to continue walking. Also relate to the band around neck and chest - which is why I rarely wear a bra when indoors as it feels like an instrument of torture. Van X

[quote:c1b351b0b3=\"vanessalee\"]PS. Stitch's description has brought the memories flooding back for me too - particularly the 'trying to hide it'. I've done the pretending to be reading something, also (and still do) pretending to be intently studying something in a shop window while getting my breath back enough to continue walking. [/quote:c1b351b0b3]

I'm ashamed to admit that I still do this! Particularly when I go into work. :oops: I also sit a lot more at work than I used to.

[quote:4221b56a5d=\"annsco\"]I'm ashamed to admit that I still do this! Particularly when I go into work. :oops: I also sit a lot more at work than I used to.[/quote:4221b56a5d]

Yes, I was one of those who never, ever sat down at work then in the final weeks it all started to change. It was taking such an effort to drag myself out of the chair. I knew I was finished when I tried to read a poem to a class and found myself 'out of breath' after the first couple of verses... even I had to face the truth after that. :cry:

Morning Jacee,

Hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Love Ann x

Thanks Ann, Van and Stitch - I'm better now :D :D

Jacee

xx