Tired of all this anxiety and depression.

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Because of some medical tests and symptoms I'm constantly worried I have cancer.  IF I have cancer I will do nothing about it as the treatments are horrendous and I refuse to go through with them even though people will want me to.  I'm sick of worrying about my health all the time and being depressed and not being able to get my mind off of it.  I'm in the process of changing anti depressants and it seems to be going nowhere.  I wish I was dead as I cannot live like this.  I need some semblance of hope or some way to feel better otherwise I may just have end it.  Maybe if I have cancer it'll be a blessing becuase that' what will kill me shortly.   That anxiety is in a class by itself.  I want to try to be able to focus on others I know and less on myself but I've become so wrapped up in this crap I can't stand any more of it.  There seems no way out.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Anxiety sucks so bad on its own let alone the other worrys you have at the moment, try to keep hope that things will improve although i know that in itself is very hard when we are going through it. Are u getting any help?
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  • Posted

    Hello sorry you're going through this and don't let it bring you down to that point. I don't know if you're religious or anything but god wants us to live life joyfully and abundantly it's the enemy that doesn't. Sometimes the medication isn't a good way to go just from experience for it makes things worse (sometimes). Not telling you not to take meds by the way but everything will be ok in due time hang in there. Exercise helps me, drink lots of water, counseling, or you can go see a psychiatrist, get involved in groups with others who goes through (support groups).
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  • Posted

    All mental health - related conditions are horrible, because we feel that our bodies have been invaded without our permission, and they can and do try to take us over completely and mislead us into believing that our world is coming to an end.

    I find it helpful to realise that these conditions are usually caused by unusual chemical or neuron activity within our brains - if you like something similar to a car engine misfiring, which can be corrected if we seek the right help for it.

    Whatever you do, please do not lose heart - just get help.


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  • Posted

    Jim I think if you truly came down with cancer you would find that you are stronger then you think.  Yes, cancer treatment is horrible, but not more so then people's will to live.  I hope your new antidepressant will start working soon.  Remember, you usually feel worse in the first two weeks before life starts slowly looking up again.  In the mean time give yourself a break and don't expect to accomplish much or anything in the next few weeks.  Instead try to focus on things that give you joy, even just sitting back on your couch with your favourite munchies and watching a movie marathon.  The important thing is you have taken the first step in recognising your antidepressant wasn't working and switching it. Wishing you the best.
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  • Posted

    Hi Jim,

    I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling...

    I struggle with Anxiety myself, so as someone has already mentioned, that in itself is a challenge and has the days where you know there is no up...!

    I don't know about you, but sometimes the physical pains/illness (however you want to classify it) seem easier to deal with. They are what they are and you can't do anything about them. At least with physical, you can walk around without this dark cloud over your mind, feeling as though it's holding you back from every move you make...

    You seem to be accepting the decision that you've made in regards to your cancer treatment, should this be the case, does that give you any comfort...? Knowing that you've already made the decision...?

    I feel the same way as yourself, that anxiety and/or depression can consume you, and you do feel as though you're wrapped up in yourself, when really that's very far from the person you actually are... sad

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  • Posted

    Hi jim 

    your message touched me like no other I am so sorry you are going through 

    this ,I know how difficult it is to get the help you need I wish there was a magic wand that  we can all use to cure us of this nightmare but there isn't 

    I know that being  in this forum helps so keep talking and know that we are all listening


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