1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Depression

Tired of being a failure but can't seem to do any better? jobs etc

Posted , 7 users are following.

tanyalion
tanyalion

I'm having one of those wobbly moments, depression and anxiety has literally swallowed me up for sooo many years. I haven't been 'happy' in 3 years and before that, maybe 5,6years. I can't seem to stick a job, I have good intentions of sticking the job out, planning to buy new things etc and I do one shift and then suddenly the anxiety is back again.

My family have got so used to me walking out on jobs that they call me "mr ben" they say I only get the jobs to collect the uniforms... lol

but I recently got a new job and I'm really struggling with it, Instead of giving me a hard time(as usual) my parents said If I want to quit I can(I am in no position finanically to just quit like this. It makes me feel like even more of a failure when they expect me to quit and then when i do... its not a big deal. This has been a pattern throughout my life, refused to go to school, college, dentist, doctor... and I'm paying for it all now. 

I WANT to do better but I just get into these situations over and over again. I have ANOTHER interview for a job i swear I will like better.. but its just like a cycle that I have no idea how to break? sad

I just can't see life ever getting any better.. one day I'll have to get a full time job and I don't know how on earth I would as even with heavy consequences, I still make the WRONG decisions. 

2 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • lori73442
    lori73442 tanyalion

    Posted

    Your not a failure. You are going through a hard time. You need to around positive people. Take one day at a time. Good luck on the job interview.
  • frustrated61
    frustrated61 tanyalion

    Posted

    Hi Tanya ~

    I agree with Lori, being around positive people is what you need.  I'm sure it's easier than said because of how you've been suffering from this affliction.  Perhaps your parents enabled you to "quit" and "quit" and accepted you from not following through with school, dentist, etc...That's on them.  It doesn't define you.  You figure out what you like and try finding something that allows you to work in this capacity.  You obviously are very familiar with depression so perhaps helping other's with your affliction could be rewarding to you?

    Also, Rick Warren has a book of life quotes and they are so very insightful.  Let me share a few with you and perhaps you might want to even purchase this book, it's not expensive like $7-8 and it's well worth it.  After Rick's son's suicide, he's abled to overcome this with his quotes that are near and dear to him and to me as well.  A few quotes by him are: “We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.”  Also, one of my favorites is:  If you want to find your purpose in life, find your wound".  All from the book:

    ― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here for?

    I've posted notes to the most important of his quotes and reaffirm them daily and it helps me get through my depression.  So, Miss Tanya, find your wound and you'll understand your self-worth.

    Good luck and let us know how things are going for you.

    Frustrated

     

    • tanyalion
      tanyalion frustrated61

      Posted

      Thank you for your detailed reply! I think I've always been allowed to quit but I can't blame nobody but myself. I'm not the people type but hoping to dedicate my life to helping animals. It makes me very happy! I will have a look at that book & see if I like it. Thank you again smile
  • lori73442
    lori73442 tanyalion

    Posted

    Just want to see how you are doing today.
    • tanyalion
      tanyalion lori73442

      Posted

      Thank you for your kind words! I'm okay today.. The interview went great thank you, but I wont know for a few days, I've already messed up my current job(only lasted one night shift) so everything is riding on this new job 
  • lori73442
    lori73442 tanyalion

    Posted

    Sorry the last job didn't work out. You just need to find the right job for you. Let me know if you get this one. I'm having a good day. I hope you are too.
  • lor793
    lor793 tanyalion

    Posted

    Hi Tanyalion 

    I can completely relate to this I have had five jobs in this year alone. I have a mortgage with my fiance and I can't seem to break the cycle either. Each new job i'm okay with for a few weeks and then my anxiety and depression kick in and I feel like I can't leave the house and face it. I have just landed a great job, normal hours, good pay and lovely people and already i'm feeling severe anxiety! why?! I really hope I can beat this as I can't keep switching jobs and this is really getting me down now I don't want to get to a point where I can't work and I constantly worry that no one like me at work and that i'm not working well enough. I seem to find a problem with every job and I have made so many bad job decisions I hope I can sort myself out and i know you can too 

    Lor xx

     

    • Flick56
      Flick56 lor793

      Posted

      I completely understand what you said. I was in my last job for 14 years which I really enjoyed until I got bullied and the depression that is always just below the surface for me took over. I had two lengthy absences and after that it was a struggle so in march I took voluntary redundancy. I was out of work for about 6 weeks then took a job at the local hospital in a&e but I just couldnt cope with the 12 hour shifts, the nights and the issues so after 4 months I left. Now I have a new job in an office. Normal hours, nice people and not too complicated work. But I just can't cope. I am in the loo in tears and keep thinking they don't like me or think I am stupid. They are all young and experienced in their field and I am just an office assistant. But I have worked at their level and higher I just chose not to because of the depression and the anxiety. We have nothing in common. I just can't think of a job that will suit me. I want to retire and just work part time or temp but I am only 58 and we are all told we have to work as long as possible because of having money to live on in old age. I am constantly scared about dying but I am wishing my life away because the end of the day or end of the week can't come soon enough. When I am at home pottering and cuddling my cats I feel safe and content. I feel such a failure and I have told everyone that the job is fine. I can't leave its only been 2 months
  • michelle48793
    michelle48793 tanyalion

    Posted

    Gosh Tanyalion - i am sure u are talking about me.  My story is just the same.  I would do anything not to feel so stressed out.  I don't sleep and it causes me major problems.
  • richard89308
    richard89308 tanyalion

    Posted

    I have been just the same with my job situation.  Constantly changing jobs.  Lots of people never find their way or career path and drift from one place to the next.

    Follow your instincts and do what you want to improve the situation for yourself.

    Richard

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.