Tired of being lonely/single because of my obesity.

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I have spent the past 34 years obese. I am 37 years old and started gaining at 5 years old, no matter what I did or how healthy I ate, the weight would not stop coming on. past 10 years I was walking 6 miles a day 5 days a week eating lettuce with baked chicken and white vinegar for dressing and drinking water only for 2 years I did this and didn't lose a pound. I found out my thyroid is a bit low and my testosterone is low, I been on thyroid meds and the endocrenologist upped them and still am unable to lose weight. I joined a gym and for 10 months worked out every other night and ended up gaining weight. not muscle, how do I know it isn't muscle? because I gained 30 lbs in 2 months you can't gain that much muscle that fast.  My endo upped my thyroid meds 4 months ago, 4 months ago I was 469lbs, last month I was down to 431 without working out, without doing anything, this month I am back up to 455lbs. My diet is the same nothing has changed and still yet I can't lose weight. 

Before you say I need to diet, mind you I already basically am and my junk food and sugars are cut down to once a week/month. Please don't tell me about diets and buying whole foods and such. I already know all about it. when you spend your entire life over 400 pounds you know everything there is to know about diets and food. 

I am 37, been single my whole life, figured I would hit the dating scene and so I did 

I have spent 8 years in the dating scene trying to find a woman to date and settle down with. Past 8 years I have been rejected around 4000 times and told I am ugly, disgusting, worthless, useless, told I have nothing to offer a woman or give a woman, mocked at laughed at, told I don't deserve love or a relationship, told I needed to end my life for being so fat and lazy.


Past 8 years I have been lead on by 22 women who pretended to love and want me and lead me on for 3 months or more sweet talking me telling me they love me and making plans for us then would fake their death or call me while having sex with someone or would disappear on me to never be heard from again.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    EDIT I just don't know what to do anymore at this point. I am so tired of it all. 

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  • Posted

    I’m sorry this is happening to you, if you would like to add me on Instagram or Fitbit etc.  we can motivate each other. My highest was 350 and have pcos I can gain 20 pounds in 4 days of not “dieting” what’s helped me is cutting out cheese and eating 1500 calories a day. And walking atleast close to 10,000 steps a day, I won’t tell you about dieting or anything because I understand the frustration. 
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  • Posted

    Hello I was 18.4 pounds from age 18 onwards I had always been heavy but after pregnancy my weight shot up . I had a gastric band fitted and lost 6 stone which is maintained more or less (up to a stone on at Christmas , holidays , hard times etc ). Some people are just plain rude and a lot of online dating is all about looks, you are clicking a button based on the image you see , you don’t know the personality , you don’t get a feel for them and you don’t know if you would click because all that needs to be done in person really . There is no need for people to be abusive and insulting remember a lot of trolls online that’s “job” is to do this . You have to know your worth and if you are giving out a feel that you are no good or low standard because of your size then people will abuse this you have to be confident and think do I want someone that treats people differently for the way they look etc at the same time you have to accept everyone likes what they like, I am attracted to one race and one race only so if I’m dating that will be who I am interested in chatting to I can’t help the way I feel and I was like this when I was 6 stone heavier too . I have been single a long time and find it very hard to date and get to know people and I’m “average” size these days so don’t feel it’s only you having problems like this . Keep your chin up . Focus on you and everything else will follow . 
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  • Posted

    I would say that first you need to rule out if there is a medical reason why you are unable to lose wgt which you could do with your GP and if after this has been confirmed/not confirmed maybe the way forward would be to have wgt loss surgery and in that respect I  would suggest doing lots of research as it is not an easy option or quick way out which the media would lead people to believe.  This is why I suggest you find out about both the negatives and positives this could offer you - before discussing it with your GP though  go armed with some facts and figures which you think make you a suitable candidate - if your GP is in agreement that this would benefit you then a referral could be made to a local hosp offering such surgery - there are many hoops to jump through before being accepted for wgt loss surgery on the NHS so if you did go down this  route be prepared for a lengthy wait and to satisfy various medical professionals that you are up for this challenge - you would need to satisfy them that you are an ideal candidate - it is not  something to go into lightly (no pun intended) but it is something to consider because you have quite a lot of wgt to lose and it might be that straight  forward dieting is not  sufficient to get you to a healthy wgt - it might be that you need some help - you could start doing your own  research online and also via support groups and organisations such as WLSinfo - you might be best looking at RNY rather than a band as RNY works both by restriction and malabsorbtion where by a band is just using restriction - but these are not the only types of wgt loss surgery - you could look them up online

    For the time being I would focus on the wgt prob rather than seeking a female companion and maybe having more knock backs which might affect your demeanour and attitude towards wgt loss  - one thing at a time - if you can sort out the wgt prob then perhaps the situation with the ladies will also change and a natural progression in this dept will follow - there is somebody out there for you but you have a  lot  going on so maybe sort out  one thing before trying to solve the other  issues - good luck - let us know how it goes for you  smile

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