Tired of feeling like this...

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi, if you took time to read this, I thank you with all my heart.

I'm tired of feeling anxious about everything. I've been like this since I was a kid, and sometimes I beat my own anxiety, but why do I feel like this all the time? I just wish it could go away. My anxiety unables me to do things right and the things I want to do, It's a big stop sign for me. When I try to learn a new thing or doing something, and someone is looking at me, I just become blank and a voice comes and tells me "You can't do it" thus I fail and become more nervous...

I also suffered as a kid as my mother hit me when i made mistakes or my father called me useless... and also I wanted to kill myself so much as a 10 year old (that's just like sad to remember) .Even though I have all these memories that make me as I am (with these characters flaws) I wish I just could re-set myself, and not be like this. I think it has made me into a despicable adult...I'm scared of everything and of failing...

Is there even a way to fix this?

A young desperate girl.

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Karla,

    I am so sorry you have suffered for so long!!! You need to remember what people say to you even your parents does not define who you are how you react to it does.. how old are you? Do you take any medicine?

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  • Posted

    Hi Karla62028, just by writing this letter shows that you are a strong person. I am a parent of two lovely girls but they are now 22 and 26 yrs old. I wasn't a perfect parent (what ever that is ) I truly believe I made a lot of mistakes in bringing these girls to adult hood but I also believe that just loving them and showing them that i loved them help them to see pass the mistakes I made. Saying that, I don't know what type of relationship you have with your parents but you must learn to forgive them. Its a load that you don't want to keep carrying around, even if you don't see them anymore Forgive them .My wife also was called usless by her mother and it also left a big scar accross her heart when ever doubt comes on her she remembers that she has managed to bring up two beautiful daughters hold a marriage together and run a family bussiness plus obtain a diploma in horticulture she is certainly not useless. You need to run with the anxiety and do the the different things you want to do. Who cares if you make a mistake thats how we learn. Please also you need to see a proffessional person and talk through these issues, it does help. Get on to some medication that helps with your thoughts. Its time you stopped being a prisoner to your anxiety. Sorry I was a captive of anxiety for a few years, ita a bitch of a thing But just like you I started searching. You can beat this thing.

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    • Posted

      I hope to, It's just such a tiresome journey... I have a good relationship with my parents, it's just that thanks to all the memories, I've become into this insecure, low-selfesteem person and I hate that.. But thank you for reminding me that things can get better, I will surely fight for it!

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  • Posted

    I don't know you but I'm pretty sure you're an awesome person. Look at all you've been through and no where along your life's journey did you give up. To me that makes you a strong person. Have you ever tried positive self talk? Little self compliments can go a long way. Find something about yourself that you like everyday!! It's a shame that you grew up in an environment where belittling and put downs were the norm. Its sad that you deter yourself from doing anything because YOU don't believe in yourself!! You and only you can change how you view yourself. Don't ya think you have beaten yourself up enough? And Karla you CAN do it!! Give yourself a fair chance and don't worry about what others may think. Let them look. 

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  • Posted

    Hi Karla,

    Yeah must be hard cos when u do things you always expect that you can't do it ur useless comment in ur head.

    But u know u can . And if u want to learn something new and u fail u try and try again till u can.

    We all have to fail before we can succeed.

    And when u feel like ur getting somewhere ull feel a bit of confidence creeping in.

    But we're not all gud at everything so don't be disheartened if there are some things u feel u can't do like I tried to learn piano and that is quite hard and maybe it's not for me but I learnt to juggle and realised I was his at it.

    Dunno can't think not any other examples.

    The point is u create ur own confidence. U been dealt a bad hand growing up but now u can use this as a chance to say **** u I am worth something.

    I've had anxiety long time and it's hard to change ur mind round but in my case I lost my inner voice that reminded myself I'm a human being in my own right and I am a gud person.

    Accept who u are and that everyone feels insecure about something and if they don't they are in denial.

    I'm insecure about being me in social situations. I get scared and become too nice.

    Hope this helps

    Phil

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