Tired of suffering from the Peri - PARANOID now!
Posted , 12 users are following.
All I wanted for Christmas was to feel better. I started BHRT December 4th and felt great for the first 3 weeks. It was a miracle for me. I've been suffering with extreme anxiety, heart palpitations followed by paranoia now since the beginning of 2014. I'm now 52 soon to be 53 and it feels like its only getting worse. Christmas night I woke at 1:00am with severe internal burning, anxiety and heart palpitations. It was on the hour, every hour, and today I have some relief but its still there. Last night I laid in bed praying, and breathing. I'm tired of medications, supplements, and what this peri-menopause has cost me. I'm single, always alone, scarred to go to bed at night, afraid to leave the house, FMLA, I have no Earn Time left at work and now just flat broke. I miss my once happy self, and I'm hoping that I just had a bad week and the BHRT will kick back in. My treatment is suppose last 3 to 4 months before getting another treatment. Doc said, "you'll know when you another treatment" it's been a month and I'm feeling like I need another treatment. I was so grateful for those first 3 weeks in December. Best 3 weeks in the 4+ years. I pray I get some relief soon.
5 likes, 13 replies
staci88515 theresa53424
Posted
Hi Teresa,
I am in the exact same position. I am single and on unpaid status too. My health insurance ends on December 31st and my last paycheck was the end of November. I literally have no idea what is going to happen. Will I be homeless? It is endless worrying. I wake up with palpitations starting at 3:30/4am. If I stay in bed, they continue every hour. They seem to stop if I get out of bed, so I am usually sitting up by myself at 4am with anxiety. You are definitely NOT alone. I can't speak to HRT because I cannot have it due to migraine aura. But, it's important for you to know that others completely understand what you are going through. Christmas is a stressful time of year. I know I get more depressed at this time. No tree, no lights, no big family dinner, no presents...just loneliness and being afraid. I hope a HRT change helps you. Feel free to message me at anytime.
theresa53424 staci88515
Posted
Hi Staci,
I'm so sorry you're going through the same thing. Last night I prop my pillows up like I was sitting up in bed. I use to sleep with a flat pillow but your right, for some reason while laying down the anxiety/palpitations are worse. My anxiety use to start at 3:30 too, now it seems to be earlier and earlier. Its great that we all have each other to relate to on this forum but I don't wish this on anyone. It makes me sad to see so many women going through this and yet we can't seem to get any relief. Being alone/single and going through this makes it ten times worse. I often wish I had a roommate just to have someone in the apartment with me but I don't have the room. The struggle is real. Will you have any income coming in to help you? Outside resources? Feel free to message me as well. Thank you for replying!
staci88515 theresa53424
Posted
I sleep sitting up as well. I have been taking care of my 76 year old mother who was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago. She receives around $900 per month from Social Security. Of course, this doesn't even cover the household bills, so I have been supporting her for many years. Now, I don't know what we will do. My only source of income was my job. I don't know where you live, but in the US most Americans live paycheck to paycheck. I was no exception. I have to find a way to get better and return to work. I feel like such a failure. I am a grown woman. I put myself through grad school. I used to take my mom to NYC for her cancer appointments. Now, I am a shell of a person. It's amazing how quickly your life can change. I also think it is more difficult being single. I guess I should have spent less time studing and building a career and more time looking for a husband. sigh
lori93950 staci88515
Posted
gosh you must be so worried i know the feeling i have been sick 9 months with epstein barr and mono and going through it alone has been so so tough im also 52 so going through meno too. im recently divorced ( not my choice ) and now i see why you need a 'life partner' not for just good times but for bad times too . try not to feel badly about your situation i have no kids no husband no job no family close by and have been bedridden for 4 months ...complete hell!! so youre not alone going through this awful time.
theresa53424 staci88515
Posted
Hi Staci,
I'm in the US too, New Hampshire and yes we all live paycheck to paycheck. Hopefully you can found some outside resources to help you. No wonder you're having such anxiety, that's a lot to take on and go through. My mother passed away in 2014 from cancer, after her passing is when the peri meno really kicked in. Any added stress certainly doesn't help. Don't feel bad about not being married. My ex-husband up and left me in 2016 after 17 years of marriage. He left me for a younger woman along with all his baggage and put me in financial pickle. I hope we have a better 2019, us ladies deserve it! Hugs!!!! Feel free to keep me posted.
staci88515 lori93950
Posted
Lori,
No one should suffer peri, mono, and Epstein Barr all at the same time. That is cruel and unusual punishment! I'm sorry to hear of your recent divorce. Adding sadness to the sickness mix must be extremely difficult. I wish menopause happened at 30 and done by 35. It is more stressful the older we get. We would be able to recover more if it happened earlier. Thinking good thoughts for you!
staci88515 theresa53424
Posted
Theresa,
I am sorry for the loss of your mom. It's such difficult times and grief just compounds all the symptoms. I don't buy the old adage, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." Tell that to any woman scorn especially when the man leaves for a younger woman! Be glad he is gone. His new chickie can wipe his bottom when he gets old.
lori93950 staci88515
Posted
thank you staci ... its been pure hell ! how ive got through these last months ill never know . plus ive gained like 20lbs and think its due to the hornone patch ... im scared to discontinue it but not really sure how its been helping ? i did atop working out but ive never been this fat and am barely eating ....gotta get back into my clothes !
lori93950 theresa53424
Posted
******gosh so sorry you are going through this nightmare mine started at 41 and although ive learned to manage it now im 52 and i have lost my freedom these last 11 years.
i can only drive short distances get panicky all thd time .... see friends my age driving all over the place leading normal lives . its just not fair ****
****************i have exact same aymptoms although i have epstein barr virus also. i want to take the patch off as ive gained 20lbs but i really believe its kept me calm during the hell that has been the last 9 months of epstein barr and mono .
you may want to get tested also as ive havd epstein barr twice now once at 41 and again at 52 . this is very common as it can reactivate when hormones drop and can cause many of the symptoms .
Sassyr12a theresa53424
Posted
Hello Theresa
I was the same with bhrt in the early days. It was fabulous for a few weeks and then I started to feel like it wasn't working anymore. It still is so don't worry, it just takes a while to get in and to balance. 3 months and you'll be at the maximum absorbtion so next dose you'll start to really feel a proper difference. I know that seems such a long time so you need to find a way to compliment it while you wait. Thing is with anxiety is it feeds off the fear, so if you think subconsciously that bedtime it scary then it is. Get a meditation app on your phone and use it to sleep. If you wake in a flap, just play it again if nothing else it will move your focus. I've been on bhrt since March and it's probably the best I'm going to get. I still get anxious but think that's more of a habit, but it's far easier to manage I promise xxx
theresa53424 Sassyr12a
Posted
Thank Sassy for sharing your BHRT treatment with me. I needed to hear from someone else who is trying the treatments. I know everyday wont be a good day but I'm not giving up on the treatments. At this point BHRT is all I have left in order to feel better so I'm trying to stay optimistic. Last night I finally got some rest but woke with lower back pain and mouth pain due to grinding in my sleep. I can deal with a little pain, however, sleep is a must for me, I can't function without sleep. I have the CALM app on my phone and I will start using the app again. Thank you for the warm advice. I may reach out to you again regarding the BHRT treatments if you don't mind? Its nice to have someone else out there going through the treatments too. Thanks again. xo
Sassyr12a theresa53424
Posted
Hi Theresa,
If course, anytime. I know it's really hard with bhrt, information is limited. It's hard to imagine feeling better too especially when you've been ill for a while, but it will come with a whoosh you'll see. Message anytime xx
vicky77852 theresa53424
Posted
Theresa, sorry for feeling so bad! It sounds that your treatment doesn't work anymore. I am on conventional hrt, so I have no experience with BHRT. Meno affects a lot of parts of our body and our brain and when we have our hormones in control we will feel ok again!
Don't accuse yourself for being single, it is a choice! I am divorced with no kids, my life was a hell with my husband cause I denied fertility treatments and donor eggs. I left him and I am in a better place now! Life is too short! 😃