To quit or not to quit with brain fog

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Hi

One of my greatest struggles has been to surrender completely to the fatigue and its symptoms and causes. For me it's been trauma mostly that set it in motion. Recently I left my job of 4 years because a coworker was abusive and I couldn't handle it. It was retraumatising. I did negotiate to work a little from home and decided (as I noticed my symptoms return) to focus on my health like never before. But in true fear of being left behind and wanting to prove to myself I can work, I got a job doing admin/ reception. The computer system was complex (it's a thriving business with lots of invoicing and codes) and I was fatigued just after 2 hours!!!! I'm in day 3 and feel stressed and in total brain fog. They have told me that I should have this by one week. Makes me more stressed. I'm now clear that I keep making things worse for myself because I need to feel capable but again and again it's not about that, it's about this cfs. And it affects my self esteem. Anyone relate? Any ideas as to whether I should push through? I miss my routine of self care and even my partner is concerned because he knows how quitting will make me feel.

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Listen to your gut.  What does it tell you to do?  Our brains can confuse us, but our guts/stomachs seldom mislead us.  So, listen to yout gut.
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    • Posted

      Hi Phillis

      I've woken up with a cold, and fatigued. My gut tells me to quit. I went in yesterday to see prove to myself I could do it. And of course I could. I'm feeling a bit guilty about letting them know it won't work for me. But deep down I know I have to call them.

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    • Posted

      If you have that "deep down" knowledge, you know what to do.  If you need to quit  your job, it doesn't mean you are a "quitter."  It just means you must take care of yourself and put  your energy to getting well and learning to be happy in spite of CFS.  Not easy, but doable.  It takes a lot of strength to live with this stuff, and only you know how much you can manage.  The bet of luck.  

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  • Posted

    I greived the "not feeling capable" thing for a long time.  I think that you are very much not alone on the one.

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  • Posted

    The hardest thing was for me to accept that I am ill and that I need to rest and not push. Like you, I did push myself years ago, to prove that I was OK and a normally functioning person. That didn't work out too well. I'm now housebound. So no, I don't think you should push yourself. That puts your health at great risk, possibly making you even more ill. This situation doesn't have to affect your self-esteem. Yes, it's a huge adjustment, but it's possible to rethink the way you view yourself. I've learned to become very self-sufficient, out of necessity. I know that I must stay within my energy envelope or suffer the consequences. So I read, watch movies, listen to music, get on the computer, eat great ethnic food. I'm too ill to even talk to friends. You can chose to view quitting your job not as an admission of defeat, but as a smart decision you're making for your health and well-being.

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    • Posted

      Yes to jackie and feel that she is giving, not only to Niki, but to all that have to go through the decision of having to forgo our careers/work life.  Yes, it is hard having to retire early, and yes we do go through a stage of low self esteem and think Why?...but if you do push yourself, even by trialling another, lighter/less stressful work, it stills puts us backwards.  I trialled different work lifes (even as a checkout chick, which I thoroughly enjoyed for the people connection), but it then caused muscle/tendon problems, which resulted in surgery, and hence, now even find driving with the affected arm, an issue....so it is Very important to listen to our bodies....it will tell you what you can and can't do....and I feel that this forum is the place to feel reassured that we are all in the same boat, and you/no-one is letting themselves/others down by doing so.  It sounds as if you are luckier than a lot of others, whose partners/families/friends are not as supportive, and won't let them "follow their gut/inner self's knowledge"......take care of you.....Bronwink

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  • Posted

    There is a process of denial, and then grief, when you loose parts of yourself to this illness. the only way forward is through it.

    I think you know that you cannot go on like this.

    Try to accept the loss, and know that in time new parts of you may emerge.

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    • Posted

      So true.  I am just coming out of the anger stage of grief.

      I have read that different people have different levels of functioning with this disease. But personally, I could never hold a full time job.  I even had to quit my part time job.

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  • Posted

    Niki

    Cfs is horrible I hate it. It's like my alter ego that just won't go away.

    I was a busy hardworking manager for 25 years and it came to a nasty end by employer bullying. Then my 25 year marriage broke down and then I contracted glandular fever.... and since all that I have now been left with Cfs and fybromyalgia.

    My life had completely changed. I am a different person than I used to be .....due to the Cfs and fybromyalgia. Everyday I struggle to except that this is the new me..... slow. ...sleepy....achy....confused....depressed....anxious.

    Absolutely nothing like my previous self.....upbeat....controlled....organised. ... on par with everything.

    However I see a occupational therapist every few months and we take about ways to cope and strategies it helps a little but underneath I am really sad that the person I was no longer exists.

    The only thing I can say is that your health is paramount to everything else so do what you have to. And maybe you need to review your life. Is your gplace supportive?

    June x

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    • Posted

      "I am really sad that the person I was no longer exists..."

      That is what it feel like, isn' it? The veterans with ME say " You ARE not an illness, you HAVE an illness." Meaning, underneath it all we are still the same persons, and when we find it hard to recognize ourselve it is because so many times we idetify with what we DO, instead of what we ARE.

      I no longer work much, I simply cannot, and it still depresses me after all these years. But in my case I am also a mother, a wife, a sister, a person interested in the world and its problems, good with my neighbour and my cats and a good friend. My body is ailing, but my spirit is as alive as ever.

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  • Posted

    CFS is sad and it's lonely.  It is a harsh teacher of acceptance of our new reality and the ability to find something positive about each day so we don't lose ourselves to the illness.  We learn to enjoy  what we have and what we can do and try not to dwell on what we have lost.  But in the process, it is extremely important to listen to  your body and get the rest it needs.  We become strong, Niki.  Our lives change and it isn't any fun, but we adapt to our circumstances and we become strong!

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