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One of my greatest struggles has been to surrender completely to the fatigue and its symptoms and causes. For me it's been trauma mostly that set it in motion. Recently I left my job of 4 years because a coworker was abusive and I couldn't handle it. It was retraumatising. I did negotiate to work a little from home and decided (as I noticed my symptoms return) to focus on my health like never before. But in true fear of being left behind and wanting to prove to myself I can work, I got a job doing admin/ reception. The computer system was complex (it's a thriving business with lots of invoicing and codes) and I was fatigued just after 2 hours!!!! I'm in day 3 and feel stressed and in total brain fog. They have told me that I should have this by one week. Makes me more stressed. I'm now clear that I keep making things worse for myself because I need to feel capable but again and again it's not about that, it's about this cfs. And it affects my self esteem. Anyone relate? Any ideas as to whether I should push through? I miss my routine of self care and even my partner is concerned because he knows how quitting will make me feel.
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