To top it all off I broke my Ankle

Not much of a response, but when I was in a similar situation (late night, on my own, freaking out) - I phoned the samaritans. I found them very helpful, calming and I preferred that to bothering my family and them getting on my nerves the day after.

Here their number: The Samaritans 08457 90 90 90.

Hope your husband will be back soon. He sounds quite nice. Is he?

Take good care of yourself. Hope the deep relaxation works.

Heidi

Thanks Heidi my husband came back early as he was worried about my ankle, he is a lovely man very understanding.

I will keep that number for when i am on my own again thanks.

I tryed to talk to my dad on the phone about things tonight but he is in his 60's and is of the \"pull your self togetther\" generation so it was pretty pointless.

Wishing you happyness

Marie

I've wandered into this section as i regularly do from the fluoxotine section.

My dad's in his 80's. I've tried explaining to him too but to no avail. He says really useful things like 'hows your bug?'. Bless him. Still, he makes me laugh when i visit him.

I guess you only truely understand mental illness if yo uhave suffered it your self, sounds like our dads are the lucky ones.

Nice to hear he makes you laugh sometimes thats all we need to brighten our days.

How are you finding fluoxotine? I didnt have much luck with it and i stuck with it for 6months I had no side effects but i didnt feel any better.

Marie

Hi Marie

Had doctors appt today. Had got it into my addled brain that i thought he would want me to change drugs. Don't know why as have only been on flu for 9 weeks. Have had all the side effects bar 2.

He's upped the dose to 40mg on my request. Was up and down like a yo yo for first few weeks then the highs and lows became less pronounced, almost like slow motion. End of week 7 i hurt my knee. This happens a lot and usually i just deal with it but not since starting flu. Put me on a lower level than i would have liked and have stayed there ever since. Hope the increased dose will take me up a notch. We'll see.

How are you doing?

Best wishes.

HI Meganpooch

Love the name by the way.

I have had a good day today being at home has helped I have been working form home but as i commute for 2 hoours each way when i am in the offfice it made a lovely change see my children and husband all day.

I hope your higher does helps i was uped to 40mg of cit on Friday and its helped.

Maybe changing your drugs will help like i said before flu didnt help me much.

if you dont mind me asking why are you on flu is it panic attackes or depression?

I am on cit for desspression, panic attacks and parainoa (sorry bad spelling)

Wishing you happyness

Marie

Hi Marie

You are the second person to mention my site name. Glad you like it.

Of course i don't mind you asking. Initially i was put on flu for clinical depression. My counsellor now thinks its reactive depression. This has been brought on probably by the sudden death of my elderly mother over 2 years ago. I grieved to a point and then thought i'd deal with it later. That happened with 4 more problems since and the brain overloaded.

Have a couple of ongoing problems that keep setting me back. Counsellor is helping to change how i deal with problems.

Hope the extra dose of flu will give me the boost i need.

I know everyone will react differently to these SSRI's but don't want to change yet and have another load of side effects. We'll see. I think paranoia is part and parcel of depression anyway.

Glad you had a better day. Keep in touch.

Hi Meganpooch

I split my time between my dad and my grandparnets growing up and my nan died when i was 13 i took it very badly and as out on proxac to help me out, this was when my panic attacts started and after 15 years i still have them. i went 3 years with out a panic attack and now they have come back along with the parinoa my GP said i have been parionid all my life but its getting worse now i have children and its another thing to worry about.

I let my children stay at their grandparnets last night and even though i had a lot of bad thoughs i didnt have a full blown panic attack so i must be getting better. a month ago i would have leet them stay over night.

This year has stated of badly as my grandfather died in Jan and i broke my ankle and i am highly stressed at work some times i feel that i have no place in this world except to work for others i have no marie time. I had to work fromhome with my broken ankle so i didnt even get a rest last week. I will return towork tomorrow and it will start all over again. I am even working now from my lap top as i wright this so not even a sunday break.

Like yourselfl i am having a massive brain overload.

I hope your feeling better, has the higher dose kicked in yet? do you find the counciling helps as i only have one experiance of counciling and it didnt work out to well for me, but i was very young at the time.

Regards,

Marie

Hi Marie

Sorry to hear of your loss. No weekend break either, that's not on. I assume your ankle is better now or are you going to have to struggle on a train with crutches?

It's tough when you lose a grandparent. I was only 14 when my grandad died. He was living with us at the time and i had an argument with him before i left for school. Felt really guilty when i knew he'd died. I wasn't even allowed to go to the funeral. Mother was a bit of a control freak.

I don't think the depression started then thou.

Had a spate of panic attacks when i was in my 20's. I remember my mother gave me a load of paper bags to deep breathe into if an attack came on. Don't know what caused them. I'm now in my 40's and have had none since.

Have only been on the higher dose of flu for 2 days but feel my mood has lifted. I won't hold my breath as i've been here before. I have had one good nights sleep in 2 months and could really do with a few more.

I've only had 2 counselling sessions so far but don't have a problem blabbing to her. She also makes you think with questions she asks. Next appt on Friday.

Keep in touch and best wishes. Good luck for tomorrow. xx

Hi MeganPooch

I hope the new dose works and you continue to feel better.

I have only lasted 1/2 the day at work as my ankle has swollen up and H&S saaid it was to dangerous to be in a construction site so i have been sent home to work from home for the next todays, at least i wont have to get up at 5am for a few days.

I have been taking sleeping pills with cit a as i cant sleep some days i am sure its only coffee and nicotin keeping me going. the sleepong pills only helped for a few days and then i got used to them but i still take them just in case.

Its lovely to hear from you again, and i hope you get a good nights rest

Kind regards

Marie

Hi Marie

Sorry work didn't go so well but at least you made the effort. 5am, does that time really exist?

I'm lucky i only live a 25 minute drive from work and its countryside all the way. Used to work in London and that was 1 1/2 hours each way standing on overcrowded trains. Can't say i miss that.

I read somewhere that caffiene is a stimulant and as the brain whirrs fast enough anyway, i've cut right down on it. The ciggies are a stimulant too but i'm not giving them up yet. Alcohol is also a no no at the moment which i really miss especially as it greets me everytime i open the fridge!

I hope you are able to rest your ankle for a few days and it gets better soon.

Best wishes. x

Hi meganpooch,

I am back of to the doc's today i dont know if its the pain in my ankle or the cit but i have been so tired today i didnt want to get out of bed but i couldnt sleep.

I think getting up each morning and going to work motivates me as if i dont get paid my morgage doesnt get paid, and not just that i love my work. and as i am resigined to working from home which is not the same i feel disheartened

I am not drinking alcohol but i never have been a big drinker but like yourself i am not ready to ditch the cigs. I have only had one coffee today that could contribute to the lack of energy and unwilling.

How are you with your higher dose of flu are you feeling any differnt?

Regards

Marie

Hiya Marie

I meant to say, yesterday, that caffiene was an irritant whilst on these SSRI's (not a stimulant).

Higher dose is fine but find i'm tired out by about 3pm. Unfortunate as i work til 5 ish. Only managed a 3 1/2 day week last week.

Have blank periods too where i look at the computer screen and nothing makes sense, that's a bit scary.

Your tiredness is probably a combination of both. I know what travelling with a dodgy limb is like and that's tiring enough in itself. As you've only recently increased your dose of cit that is probably a contributory factor too.

The drinking side is a pain as i only just started drinking again after 10 years off. Alcohol used to react with my system and make me ill but from June last year it was fine. Then on the flu from December. I've got some alcohol free Becks that doesn't taste like cats pee so will have to make do with that for now.

This has been my 5th day of feeling quite good but i can feel the shine wearing off a bit so hope i'm not about to slide. Have to take each day as it comes.

There's a good series that started on BBC2 yesterday called 'grow your own drugs'. Not the class A, B or C ones! Did you see it? If not, and you have trouble sleeping, a small pillow stuffed with dried hops and lavender under your normal pillow should aid sleep.

Be patient with your ankle. It will get better with rest....just so frustrating!!

Best wishes and keep in touch. x