Today is the Day!

Yes yes and yes! This is a great way to approach recovery. Split it up into manageable portions, one demon at a time, divide and conquer. Why not put on some makeup while you're at it?

And while you're looking in the mirror at that person who suddenly appears, reflect on the wonder that while you are in a fog of misery, this is the face your partner loves, your daughters care for, your granddaughter trusts absolutely.

Whereas I, on the other hand, find my father staring at me in the mirror and wonder why that old man still hounds me ... then I realise I must shave and go to work! Ah, the misery of the wage-slave! The sheer, day-by-day ... salvation of it!

I love my work, the people I work with, and I feel so fortunate to be able to contribute to my community in some small way. This time last year I could not cope at all, did not believe I'd ever work again, was in pain and confused and emotional and of no use to myself or anyone else. So the Citalopram has helped me enormously, even though the side effects are disappointing.

My next hurdle is to try and wean myself off the tablets for high blood pressure, then address the ulcer, and keep trying to get off the medication.

I think your plan is great Melbi. Chin up, chest out (I'm a gentleman, after all), and march forwards into your recovery. Know that some backsliding is allowable, unavoidable, and a welcome sign that you are actually improving because it will become rarer.

I will now take my soapbox and listen to others. Good luck! xxx

Message for my little demons :D

One way or another I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha

One way or another I'm gonna win ya

I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha

One way or another I'm gonna see ya

I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha

One day, maybe next week

I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha

I will drive past your house

And if the lights are all down

I'll see who's around

One way or another I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha

One way or another I'm gonna win ya

I'll getcha, I'll getcha

One way or another I'm gonna see ya

I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha

One day, maybe next week

I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha

And if the lights are all out

I'll follow your bus downtown

See who's hanging out

One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

I'm gonna give you the slip, a slip of the lip or another

I'm gonna lose ya, I'm gonna trick ya

One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

I'm gonna trick ya trick ya trick ya trick ya

One way or another I'm gonna lose ya

I'm gonna give you the slip

I'll walk down the mall

Stand over by the wall

Where I can see it all

Find out who ya call

Lead you to the supermarket checkout

Some specials and rat food, get lost in the crowd

One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha

(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)

One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha

(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)

One way or another I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, I'll getcha getcha getcha getcha

(Where I can see it all, find out who ya call)

Melbi

You are a true insperation!!!!!! I admire you greatly - you go for it girl we're all right with you....

In the words of another song

\"I get knocked down, I get up again, you can never ever keep me down...\" (I think that's right???).

Here's to \"getting up\"

I too am determind to have a good day today, my beautiful son was born on this day 16 years ago, all the family are coming to celebrate with him later on (I will cope!) today should be good - for everyone.

Lots of love to you, Breezeman, TT. PJ etc etc.....

Nicky Jane x x x

Morning all!! well ive gone down a bit today,had a small but not nice bit of a panic attack this morning.Dont know why but it just came on.Got really down as ive had 2 good days.Im not going to let it beat me just been left shacky by it..hate feeling like this all anxious,its awfull...And for some really odd reason i keep waking up at 4 every morning.Thought it was the windy weather but it was windy last night. :? Sooo tired.Hope everyone is ok.Glad your feeling positive today melbi.I joined yesterday but didnt know how to get on the chat room?kim.x

Nicky Jane enjoy today - congratulations on your sons 16th Birthday.

Try not to get too exhausted and overwhelmed by it all.

Kimoli I have PM'd you a link to the chatroom.

Off again now to carry on facing my demons lol

Melbi x

Thanks melbi,will be on sometime today.. :wink: xxx

\"I'll try to be strong believe me,

I'm trying to move on,

It's complicated but understand me.

'Cause I, need time,

My heart is numb has no feeling,

So while I'm still healing,

Just try, and have a little patience,

have a little patience\"

Theres a song u need to remember.

Everone here needs to be patient and i know thats easier said than done but just listen to take that.. they know their stuff lol.

xxx

Thanks for that guest.

LOL Nicky Jane ~ I've been described as many things in my lifetime but an inspiration? Thank you so much for those kind words.

Okay, so I had lunch then lay down and fell asleep for an hour. I didn't manage to do everything I set out to do but am I bovvered LOL.

It hasn't phased me and I don't feel disappointed.

Instead I feel proud that today I set out to achieve something I haven't been able to achieve for weeks and today I managed it. Okay some of it but it's a start!

If I don't have the same fight in me again tomorrow then I will bide my time until a day that I do and that day I will achieve more.

Margaret I congratulate you on your bravery and taking such a huge step - I admired your bravery and strength. :wink:

Going to call into Town now and do a little bit of shopping on my way to the doctors.

Love

Melbi xxx

Back from doctors - increased dose to 20 mg and 4 more weeks off work. :shock:

Melbi x

Hi Nicky Jane, Melbi, Kim and Guest,

You have all contributed inspiring words to this forum. Melbi, I have just accused you in another thread of being \"inspiring\", so I'm with Nicky Jane. It's official. You are inspiring, an inspiration certainly to me and many others.

You have now been prescribed 20 mg. We are all different, of course, and for me 20 mg was a station on the way to 40 mg. I want to get off the medication completely, but I know I could not have coped the way I was, I know I'm more positive (that's a gentle euphemism. I now want to live), so I must put up with the side effects for now. Be warned though. There is a large volume of evidence regarding the known side effects of Citalopram, and when the manufacturer admits that a tiny percentage of people may suffer a certain side effect, know that you may fall into that category. I have a sexual dysfunction side effect which I sincerely hope is temporary, but I must face the possibility that it is permanent. Be aware, if you feel disinterested discuss this with your partner. I am so fortunate to have a wonderful, loving, caring, sexy (Goddammit!!) partner and we do still enjoy the intimacy of love, but I know it came as a great shock, bewildering, unfathomable, and of course her first reaction was that I no longer cared about her. Thank God she is intelligent enough and mature enough to realise that I was being honest and that the problem was between my ears and had nothing to do with her. For me, I have come to recognise a side effect as something which wasn't there before but which appears despite the fact that I feel as if I'm improving.

To Guest, I can identify with these words. They do resonate with me, and I thank you for posting them. Welcome to this forum, please keep posting.

Hi Kim. My panic attacks have completely stopped now, (since maybe 6 months), but I still have some background anxiety. I am going through Family Court at the moment to try and gain custody of my 10 year old daughter and to sort out the property mess, which is stressful. I hope you can recognise the onset of anxiety, because recognition of this demon does help to deal with what appears to be irrationality, but is in fact a very logical condition given that the brain is not getting sufficient rest to heal itself properly.

Has anyone heard from Katy? If so, could you mention how she's coping please.

Keep caring. xxx

LOL then inspiring I shall be :oops:

Katy is fine, she popped into the chatroom but sadly I missed her. She has had a good day at the zoo with the children at the school.

I'm sure when she has recovered she will post here with more information.

The doctor has pre warned me that I might start to feel very anxious again before I start to benefit from the 20 mg and asked me if I felt I could cope with that. Sure I can, I told her.

She complimented me on my efforts and said I was looking better so imagine my shock when she gave me another sick note for 4 more weeks!

I am going to use these next 4 weeks to work extremely hard at getting myself better.

No matter how crap I feel I WILL make myself walk outside daily - no matter the weather! Lots of fresh air and exercise :D

Every afternoon I am going to lie on my bed and relax listening to some favourite music.

Every day I am going to call in at the shop and buy something - just for the sake of going into a shop and having to meet people.

Right - that is enough for now.....I will add to it in 1 weeks time.

I hope you are all following me here :P I want to here how well you are all doing - even the tiniest of steps forward you are making or have made - please share them with me - don't leave me to walk this long bumpy path alone.

Race you all to the finishing post :run:

Melbi xxx