Tramadol addiction and withdrawal

TRAMADOL WITHDRAWAL 

Hello people

Let me start by just saying that I am

Posting this as reading these forums 

Whilst going through all my darkest, 

Anxiety-riddled times over the last 

4 years of being addicted to Tramadol has always been something to take solice in.

I am a 37 year old male from the UK

By the way.

I’d just like to state that I was never prescribed Tramadol by a doctor, I have used Tramadol daily over the past 4 years as a recreational choice and self-medicating mental crutch.

I have been purchasing 100mg pills online from India and having them sent to the UK. I have been taking anywhere between 200mg-400mg a day during that time with 2 periods of cold turkey withdrawal over those 4 years for holidays or due to needing a break from the Trams, both of those withdrawal periods were dreadful, 5 days with no sleep, flu-like, stomach issues for a few weeks, killer anxiety, and as mentioned above, the darkest, saddest thoughts I have ever experienced, the mental side of things felt like it never completely lifted for the month I stayed off on both occasions. 

This lead to fear of ever stopping them once I was back in my pill popping cycle again, it was like the traumatic experiences of the WDs had left me with a PTSD-like paranoia.

So anyway, I decided that this year I would take my life back as I had fallen into a rut in every aspect of my life partly due to the way Tramadol gradually removes your soul and personality. I’d become an angry, uninterested shadow of my former self and I was an unpredictable basket case to be in the company of, the early days of feeling high and carefree had become a life lived on impulse and dissatisfaction, all played out with very little attention to anything for more that a micro second, I honestly spent the last couple of years feeling that life was a game that felt lost and that I would always feel this way to some extent.

Let me say that IS NOT the case at all 

Now I am at this point of being team free and WD free.

Here’s how it went for me:

2014-18: Average 300mg a day

January 20th dropped to 200mg a day, no major issues.

Feb 5th dropped to 150mg, not too bad either.

Feb 12th dropped to 125mg, sleepless night, bad anxiety kicks in, slept the following night though for 5 or 6 hours, managed between 4 an 6 hours thereafter until my improvement over the last couple of weeks.

Feb 20th, dropped to 90mg, anxiety, sadness, confusion, depressed, energy less days would go on over the next few weeks.

March 1st, dropped to 75mg, much the same, feel like I’m permanently damaged, never going to get exited about anything again and have any drive or oomph about me again.

March 9th, dropped to 50mg, feel better but still mentally off and uninspired.

March 15th, drop to 20mg, feeling better all round now, not back to pre-tram days we’ll yet but definitely seeing light at the end.

And so I stay on the 20/15mg for the next 2 weeks, I must add that I’ve never rushed it whilst tapering off, just dropped to the next dose when I’ve felt focused enough to do it, the hardest was definitely going down to that 150/125 mark. I need to also state that I haven’t tried to or managed to get a high or a buzz since the taper started as that’s not been my aim and would only be going back in the wrong direction.

Will power is a must, something I didn’t know I still had to be honest.

I only had a couple of strips of 100mg pills to see me through the tapering process too so I knew I didn’t have the luxury of falling off the wagon again, I had to use what I had left sensibly.

I had been getting slight brain zaps at this point before I’d take a dose, from the 75mg point onwards I would take the dose at 10am, then obviously not again until the next day at 10am. 

The long time in between dosing was the time during which I believe my brain would be rewiring itself and learning how to work properly again.

Even at this low dose I assumed that I would still be in for a bumpy ride if I stopped, this is not true though, especially if you hold the doses long enough to let the whole stepping down process gradually wean you down.

April 3rd... Stopped taking a dose, and I’ve been off since, no brain zaps and the proper, natural happy brain chemicals are again kicking in, and oh how I appreciate these now😀

Over the last week the cravings have gone away and my energy is a lot better, I am genuinely enjoying life again, going out for a drink at weekends, being sociable without acting like a fogged out weirdo for the 1st time in years! Not having to rely on having a couple of pills in my wallet just to feel safe!

I decided to write this as a hopeful inspiration to anyone who is at rock bottom with these pills, it might even save someone’s life as the antidepressant effects can really be the thing which can lead a person to feel like just giving up all hope.

DO NOT GIVE UP.

If you can keep enough pills for say a 6 week taper, do it because as rough and horrible as the coming off process has been, I’ve managed to hang on to my existence (albeit by a thread) long enough to see it though until I feel normal again.

I have been seeing a cognitive therapist over that time too to try and deal with why I have addiction issues like this, and it has really helped, the therapist was also the only person I could be honest with about my secret habit, but it really helped to be able to share my thoughts and steer me back to life. 

There is no quick fix to coming off trams and it is harder the higher dose you were on but you can still return to normal whether it was 600mg or 100mg.

Note: There are a few of these people who like to write on forums that they’re still no right 6 months plus after stopping Tramadol, ignore these scare mongers.

There’s hardly anyone writing about things like I’ve done here because once people are out of the woods and back to happiness, they don’t care about these forums! It’s mostly all people either still on or in the process of horrible withdrawals, bare that in mind.

*My advice is to not replace one drug with another by the way, although I have used cannabis on some occasions throughout my trials.

There were times over the last 4 years and recent weeks where I was convinced I was messed up and psychotic regardless, you will feel this too most likely, IT’S JUST THE TRAMADOL, YOU WILL BE FINE!!

It makes your mind work in a way it shouldn’t, THIS WILL PASS.

There is no quick fix but I view the last couple of dark months as time well spent sorting myself out and I now feel how I wanted to and didn’t think I would or could again. 2 months/6 weeks is nothing in exchange for your life being back on track.

I WAS F****D, TOTALLY. I AM NOW NOT!😀 

YOU CAN SURPRISE YOURSELF TOO

BELIEVE ME.

Apologies for the long, rambling post folks, just thought I’d chuck everything in as it came to me though!

My love and thoughts to everyone on the journey X

Well done I was prescribed down to 37.5 per day now no support from docs only my pharmacist getting there and not giving up not addicted but body is thanks for being so honest and hopefully I will be in the same club to, never again.

Absolute respect to you. I was prescribed Tramadol after a serious accident & been given morphine for weeks which I became intolerant to. I have no idea what dosage I was taking but it was four times a day & only for about 12 weeks. I say 12 weeks but I’ve no idea how long really as I remember very little about the period I was taking them. I decided to come off the stuff because I just felt numb. Nothing made me feel good. I did it over a few weeks but the withdrawal symptoms were horrendous but they were worth going through. Like you say David definitely worth going through.