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My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 8 years ago. We did everything we could to avoid her going into a home but 1 year ago it was evident that she needed 24 hour care. From there, she deteriorated quickly and one month ago became her bound. 2 weeks ago she lost large amounts of weight and on Thursday, doctors declared her “end of life”. From that moment myself and other family members never left her bed side. We did everything to make her comfortable and family came to say their goodbyes. As the days passed, she became completely unresponsive. Her breathing was rattly, and her feet and legs began to mottle. By the last day she dedicated herself various times and her breathing became really shallow. The mottled skin travelled up her body and my Sunday evening, it had reached her face. We knew we were at the end. Her breathing became lighter and irregular and eventually she took her last breath. I will always be “glad” I could hold her hand till the very end, but watching her die has left me somewhat traumatised. It was peaceful or dignified. It was like a watching a fish that had been taken out of water. Watching her body die and her gasping for breath is all I see in my mind. The carers said she wasn’t in pain, but I feel traumatised by it all. I can only take comfort that she is no longer suffering.
Has anyone got any advice on how to cope with this part of the grief?? Thank you x
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