Traumatized from my recent Health scare
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Backstory: My heart felt like it was skipping beats on and off on December 30th, 2021. It just so happened to be the day after a party i went to and I drank a lot so i thought i had screwed up
my entire life due to me drinking on and off for about 10 years (started when i was 18) I'm 29 years old now and i was terrified that i caused lasting damage to my heart due to my stupid immature habit that i only developed during a dark period in my life when i lost a lot of loved ones including both my mother and father. I get A cardiologist same day the 30th and Sunday January 16th I get my results. Normal echocardiogram, No A-Fib (0% burden) heart structure normal, and NO lasting damage from the alcohol i felt so happy about that i cried. I gave up alcohol for good since i want to keep my heart as healthy as possible with my 2nd chance. i was however diagnosed with benign PVC's which were at a 1% burden luckily. i was relieved for a couple of days and felt free of symptoms, until i became aware of my heartbeat again and when one of the PVC's happen i get so scared then i get anxious and now it's ruining my quality of life. I yearn for my old life back and being care free, I'm scarred mentally from this experience, i realized how short life is and how much we need this thing inside of us that beats and how it can stop at any moment. I've been crying a lot and can't let this go, or enjoy my life as much even though i trust my cardiologist and i believe her that im healthy otherwise these benign PVC's scare the hell out of me i always feel like theyre bad news and i need to act quickly before my heart deteriorates. I made a follow up appointment for this sunday i have more questions, i think my fear makes them worse at times all i want so desperately is to get my quality of life back please somebody tell me theres a path to peace for me, i just wanna focus on my engagement to my girlfriend but im so sad and not myself over this that i can't imagine moving on with my life, i thought i shortened my life i really thought i was in mortal peril, i cant relax i dont know what to do, i have so many plans for 2022 but ive lost my mojo and im beaten down by this, ive never been so scared in my life, any insight would be appreciated, i may be healthy but i don't feel it.
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