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Tricky - Jealousy or Envy...just not normal...lol

Posted , 6 users are following.

Misssy2
Misssy2

I was riding thru town this afternoon and I saw two guys.

They looked pretty carefree...each holding a "brown bag"....walking into one of the shabbier looking houses in the middle of the city.....

I know they were going in to sit down have some drinks...and who knows what else...I was JEALOUS, ANGRY...that I can't have a "carefree" day with alcohol!

Its so messed up with how much horrible things alcohol has done to my body, my sanity and my relationships that I would even romance the drink for a minute!

I know if that were me...I would not feel good tommorow...I would probably be on another binge....but I STILL envy those guys...sick, sick, sick.

1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Nixy
    Nixy Misssy2

    Posted

    Lol. I know exactly what you mean missy. Sadly I have a new addiction...looking at this bloody forum every five minutes! 
    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 Nixy

      Posted

      ME TOO!  Thanks for pointing out my latest addicton LMAO.

      I am still recovering from anti depressent withdrawal and don't feel like moving so I keep typing...I have been to boards I never knew existed as well!

  • poppy47815
    poppy47815 Misssy2

    Posted

    I also envy the people who aren't shacked up inside a house drinking the day away. How about people out walking or biking. Working in the yard. Or the garden. I envy more the people that seem to be doing healthy activities. Used to pi*s me off getting so messed up on the weekends I was too hung over to get out a do normal people stuff. That's way more fun than drinking all day. I work so hard all week when he weekend comes I sure don't want to be laid up aona couch somewhere

  • h1954
    h1954 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi, Missy, it's good to recognise these feelings rather than not name them, but act on them and then wonder how did that happen. Well done you for keeping on track x

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 h1954

      Posted

      It just makes me "perplexed" when I think anything is attractive about drinking...cause as we know there is NOTHING attractive about drinking anymore for most of us on this board!

       

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2

    Posted

    poppy!!! I don't know what is going on with this site..but when I hit reply it doesn't give me a box...and it is driving me crazy...the only box I can type in is up here.

    YES...YOUR SO RIGHT...THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE I ENVIED THE MOST.

    I remember crying when I was "abusing' my Dad for alcohol...saying to him.....I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL...I JUST WANT TO GO SHOPPING AT OUR LOCAL DOLLAR STORE.

    Cause when I'm sober I am a regular at the dollar store at least 2x a day.

    I did go there last night and the girl I know that works there asked me if I would get her a coffee (I do that on my own for her sometimes)...I guess she needed ONE....she would NEVER ask!  FELT REALLY GOOD TO BE AVAILABLE.

    Best post all day is the one I read from you for reminding me....that sitting in the house drinking IS NOT what I ENVY

    • poppy47815
      poppy47815 Misssy2

      Posted

      Yah I know I kept getting pop ups so I could not reply it made me so mad. So how are you doing? Well I made it one week past the pancreas ordeal. I don't want to type too much. I will get a pop up!

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 poppy47815

      Posted

      I know the board can be tempermental and we literally try to hurry before we hit some blip!

      I'm so glad you are feeling better...and you sound better too. wink

      I'm doing ok...smile

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Hi my lovely friend missy...

    Do not !! Feel bad...even though I have been well for 13 yrs...I still feel as you did....I consider myself fortunate ? I can drink

    Twice a week..( out with family ) and have no!! Urges the next morning.

    I have always found that the best and for me...only way...I have coped is by always !! Making certain that we have alcohol in the house. If I ever really needed it....it takes away my terrible panic....even if I am a bit over the limit...I now just fall asleep. And i am fine the next day..missy.. lovely special..always helpful..always dee just plain nice young lady...always be yourself....you are a gem..young lady...sincere regards to you ...dee hugs..hugs...hugs...xxx..

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      I can't even imagine myself someday "responsbily" drinking....I'm GLAD for you that you can without the illness effect.

      Your the best!  Thank you for sharing all your stories and spreading all your love...smile

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 Misssy2

    Posted

    Thank you misssy lovey...

    Your replies always touch my heart...you must have helped more people on these forums, than many of us put together....

    I don't know why you have never trained to be a counsellor...you would be excellent..you are so empathetic, understanding and totally non judgemental....thank you for all you do for others...just seeing your name brings a big, warm, smile to my face xxx

    Big hugs..always...dee xxxx

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      no counsling for me because i would want to talk about my problems...lol.

      Its easier for me to TYPE replies because there isn't an interaction.

      Love you D!

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