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Hi,I am a 37years old. I have suffered depression for many years.I was on prozac for the last 10years. I have managed in this time,to keep it more or less under control. But now it has come back to bite me big time!!!
I have a young son,and am finding it hard to cope. I don't want to be here anymore,am tired of existing. But in my heart I love him so much that what right do I have to make his life even harder!
Am fighting everyday,just to try to keep going. Am scared of how I am feeling,I just wish it would go away! I feel so trapped with no way out,there is this deep dark hole of which I can't get out of.
I hate myself for feeling like this,and am sick of the nurses telling me it will take time. I started on Venlafaxine.a couple of days ago,am on a cross over period from Prozac. I have the support of nurses comming out to me,but am to scared to open up completly.Its like I have died inside,and hate life.I just want to scream,am at a loss.I feel very lost and alone,its hurting me so much inside.
I have sucide thoughts quite often,but then think of my little boy. I aslo think that sometimes he would be better off without me.I know in my heart that he needs his mum,but I can't stop these feelings!
I found this site by accident and thought that maybe if I could chat to people who felt the same,it may help?
Thanks for reading the above.
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