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Trying to be honest but don't want to get turned away

Posted , 3 users are following.

Lifeisgreat
Lifeisgreat

Hey guys I'm just venting. I could really use som advice. my best friend and my cousin whom I tell my secrets to don't really understand because they don't know what it's like to have this. But anyways I got diagnosed in May of last year and I was being really promiscuous and I gave it to a guy I was talking to and I continued to talk to him only because he made me feel guilty for giving it to him. I finally cut him off because I wasn't interested anymore. Now I am talking to a guy that I have been talking to for the past five years on and off he is magnificent and everything I could ask for and up until now every guy i've had a sexual relations with I told them of my condition but I haven't told the guy I'm currently talking to we had sex twice unprotected I really don't want to lose him and I just feel so guilty and I feel like since I haven't told him and we already engaged sexually he won't trust me and will leave me

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Lifeisgreat

    Posted

    Hmmm, that's a very tricky situation you're now in with this new guy! Do you have genital Type 2?
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus

      Posted

      And are you on daily suppressive therapy?
    • Lifeisgreat
      Lifeisgreat FelizCastus

      Posted

      Yes I have genital type 2. The west of them all. I get outbreaks every single month.
    • Lifeisgreat
      Lifeisgreat FelizCastus

      Posted

      I am currently on valacyclovair and I occasionally skip one or two days and when I do I get an outbreak
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Lifeisgreat

      Posted

      Sounds like you had better not skip any of your daily antiviral meds and should use condoms properly and consistently. Genital Type 2 is already a lot more infectious than genital Type 1, and the first year of infection is even more infectious.

      Hopefully this guy you like did not contract it from the two unprotected exposures (best not do that again!), but it is certainly going to be hard to disclose to him now after the fact. Guess you need to find the right time and place, and simply bite the bullet and tell him.

      When it comes to someone else's sexual health, upfront honesty is the best policy, even if it doesn't always work out in your favour, and failing that, at least take *100%* protective measures when engaging in casual sex (i.e., avoid outbreaks/prodromes, take daily meds, use condoms, no skipping either).

      For relationships, you do need to be upfront regardless, and best to avoid this difficult situation in future (exposure before disclosure, especially unprotected exposure). Apologies if none of this really helps, and good luck!

  • snow25382
    snow25382 Lifeisgreat

    Posted

    Ask him to go get tested. The chances are he might have it too. If he comes back with positive results, tell him. If he's negative he might still have it but it may be dormant. It's your call at that point. Tell him or walk away without telling him. If you have sex with him even with condom and on medication you might still be passing it on to him even if he doesn't get a breakout right away. He might test negative and get a breakout years later. If you love him, best to push him away.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus snow25382

      Posted

      A negative IgG antibody test after the 3-month window period is negative. Unrelated to dormancy. A person past the window period will test positive by IgG so long as they carry the virus, even if they've never experienced obvious symptoms (and such a person can still infect others, incidentally).
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